Oddities and Humor

Perhaps they need to issue out a nonviolent jihad against this shudder-inducing coffee manufacturing technique.

Orig story
Is there a point to an artists conception of something invisible?

Artists representation of what the CIWS laser beam looks like which, in reality, is invisible.

If you're a parent, I don't have to tell you what Call of Duty is. Your kids are probably hooked on this video game, too. All the parents I know throw up their arms. They don't know what to do. Their kids play Call of Duty nonstop all day.

If you're not a parent, can I come over your house and watch Dog the Bounty Hunter?

Call of Duty is a violent, blood-splattered, military battlefield video game. Usually, teams of six players face each other in various war settings, like an airport, desert or abandoned amusement park. Each player moves through the battlefield shooting at the enemy - and getting shot at. The games are generally about 10 minutes long, and the screen keeps a tally of which side has more "kills."

The game also keeps individual statistics, like how many people you've killed, how many times you've been shot and how long you've been playing. I don't like to brag, but my 13-year-old son is the 4,043,614th best Call of Duty player in the world.

The other day, I told him, "You have to stop playing this game - it's all you do. I'll bet you've wasted a whole day of your life on this thing."

He said, "You never let me play it. I've probably played it two hours total."

To be exact, he's wasted 75 hours and 26 minutes playing Call of Duty.

I don't want to be a squealer, but his friends Andy, Ricky, Harrison, Palmer and Zach have spent much, much more time on Call of Duty. Matthew has spent 44 days on it, although he claims that somebody hacked his account and fudged the numbers.

Sure. And I'm buying this ointment for a friend.

I can hear you, "Hey, just take the game away from him. You're the parent. You're the boss. It's a pretty sick world when kids are making the rules."

Easier said than done. I also said my kid would never eat fast food.

I'm 0 for 3. I am not going to be the one mean dad who won't let his kid play Call of Duty when all of his friends are playing it. And a note to parents who won't let their kids play ... they're playing it at my house. And Andy's house. And Ricky's house. And Harrison's house.

And at the neighborhood burger hangout.

Your kid who isn't playing it ... is playing it.

Call of Duty was introduced in 2003, and 60 million games have been sold around the world. They also sell Call of Duty comic books, computer games, T-shirts and trading cards. It's a $3 billion industry. The manufacturer donated 3,000 Call of Duty games to the U.S. Navy, which distributed them to ships and submarines and recreation facilities.

So our sailors can fight for fun - after fighting for real.

For fun is more fun, I'm guessing.

As much as this game drives me crazy, I have to admit, it's amazingly clever. Eleven other people, scattered across the globe, are playing your particular game, and each one can look at the others from his unique perspective.

Turn around! Quick!

Too late! The player in Lima, Peru, shot you from behind.

There are thousands of games being played at the same time. You can invite your friends to play, or you can be assigned to a team at random.

Kids rush home from day camp to play Call of Duty. They want to eat dinner on the couch so they won't miss a game. My kid has sleepovers in our house, and I walk downstairs at 3 a.m. and they're playing Call of Duty.

Call of Duty is addictive - like crack cocaine or Häagen-Dazs. Teens turn into zombies when they play it. I swear, they don't blink. I read about a man who lost his job and his family because of his addiction to Call of Duty. After the divorce, the man was allowed to see his children for four hours every other weekend.

The ex-wife asked the children, "What did you do with Daddy today?"

They said, "Nothing, we just sat there and watched him play Call of Duty."

My kid is bolted to the couch, wearing a headset like Julie the Time-Life operator. I like to walk in front of the TV when he's playing. He goes ballistic. "Thanks, I just got killed because of you!"

And I'm missing Man vs. Food. We're even.

As he goes Rambo on the enemy, he's talking to players in Russia, Japan, South Africa and his friend Andy on Georgetown Street around the corner.

I eavesdropped on the headset one day. You'd have to buy the complete Rosetta Stone tape collection to understand everything, but I know profanity in a lot of languages. This is when my kid and I had our little talk about giving information to strangers. "When somebody on this game asks where you are from, just say Texas and nothing more."

Got it?

Yes.

I mean it, you got it?

Yes.

Like a lot of things on the Internet, you have to be careful. I don't want Dateline: To Catch a Predator in my house.

Here's the best thing about Call of Duty. Even though parents hate it, it's our No. 1 disciplinary tool.

"Clean your room or I'm taking Call of Duty away."

His room is clean within 15 minutes.

It's not just kids playing Call of Duty. Marcus Coleman is a former Houston Texan and Dallas Cowboy. He played 11 years in the NFL and intercepted 25 passes, two for touchdowns. He's hooked on Call of Duty something bad, too.

"Sure, tell your kid I'll play him, but also tell him this - I don't ease up just because he's a kid. I play extra hard against kids," Coleman said.

ken.hoffman-chron.com

Nothing to say about that except... WoW.

<ROFLMAO, dadpad!>

Whatever you do, DON'T buy your kid a subscription to World of Warcraft. SonofEva has logged months if not years on this game, and he's still behind some of his friends. It will never end. I wonder what it will take to break the addiction. Banning him from playing doesn't work. He can play it at all his friends' houses and at school. It is everywhere. Even when he doesn't log on, he watches over others' shoulders and tells them what moves to make.

I am almost certain that's the game one of my grandsons sat up all night playing, once, when we babysat him. He had no place to be next day anyhow - but in my defense, I thoght he would tire and get some sleep, so I left him up that night. He was eleven or twelve.

A kid I know has pasted the following on facebook:
must READ ! This isnt fake. apparently if u
copyand paste this to ten people in the next ten minutes u will have
thebest day of ur life tomorr . u will either get kissed or asked
out,if u break this chain u will see a little dead girl in urroom
tonight.in 53 mins someone will say i ...love... you...

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/07/the_cartoon_batman_robin_theme.html?mid=agenda--20100721

It is a flower. And New Guinea has maybe a half dozen birds called The Bird of Paradise. Also, some of the largest varieties of insects in the world.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?page_id=9804&paged=2
Seymore Butts

Ancient finger bowls found in Mayan tomb (bowls filled with fingers, that is)
http://www.csmonitor.com/Science/2010/0719/Ancient-finger-bowls-found-in-Mayan-tomb-bowls-filled-with-fingers-that-is

I bet they are crunchy.

good with salsa, though...

SUV in Milwaukie sinkhole.

Here's the oddity.

Ancient woman suggests diverse migration

By MARK STEVENSON, Associated Press Writer Mark Stevenson, Associated Press Writer – 1 hr 34 mins ago
MEXICO CITY – A scientific reconstruction of one of the oldest sets of human remains found in the Americas appears to support theories that the first people who came to the hemisphere migrated from a broader area than once thought, researchers say.
Mexico's National Institute of Anthropology and History on Thursday released photos of the reconstructed image of a woman who probably lived on Mexico's Caribbean coast 10,000 to 12,000 years ago. She peeks out of the picture as a short, spry-looking woman with slightly graying hair.

Here's the humor.


Never Argue with a Woman

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

Well, I don't get into it with women anyway. They don't argue fair.

Something going around facebook (complete with idiotic photo):
Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil

That sounds like a signature line, if I ever heard one!