My friends mother died the same horrific death, not very nice, the lung cancer was slow and very stressful for those around her, the only problem was she didn't smoke, was never in a smoking environment, non of her family smoked, yet the death was put down to being "Smoking related". The family protested but to no avail, the final cause of death was set in stone and of course added to the useless stats that are compiled by governments to prove their agendas.
Now I'm not saying smoking doesn't kill, it does, but so does paracetamol, yet there's no big warnings on the packet. The hysteria around cigarettes is unfounded and only used to increase VAT on these items to give governments more money and reduce medical care bills by refusing people access to health care for being a "Smoker" yet drug addicts, obese people, self abusers all get access.
There are positive benefits to smoking which should not be hidden away, and should be openly discussed. My Grandmother died from a horrific disease that may have been prevented by smoking. If this is so then I am as angry as you that she will not see her grandchildren born since her death.
"Considering people you love" is not a good arguement to not smoking, used in any death this would end up with some absurd statements like "he should not have driven a car" due to auto-mobile deaths, "He should not have ate food" due to obesity deaths, etc etc etc. Many things kill, and kill allot yet society doesn't make these people selfish due to the cause. Yet you do. why is that?
If smoking "Kills" then it should kill all "Smokers". No ifs or buts, I have had several relatives who lived to their 80 and 90's who smoked most of their lives. The oldest working man in the UK, who lives in London, England, smokes and drinks everyday, yet is 95 years of age. Will his family make him out to be selfish when he passes away. I doubt it.