Asian Carp: Impersonate A2Kers

Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2010 07:57 am
tsarstepan wrote:

http://i47.tinypic.com/29p4w82.jpg Asian Carp

I don't appreciate the direction this thread is headed!


What would you do if this Asian Carp threw a glass of water in your face?
(hope you know I'm joking TKO)
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2010 08:23 am

Beat him black and blue, of course. Carps have to learn their place and since they have a tendency to be punks, they should be "taught" early and often.
0 Replies
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2010 09:59 am
http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/5d440fbaa34a3f3d44b22a8cd1aec780?r=R&d=identicon&s=60 JoeNation

Cordon Bleugh Peppermint Face Mask

• Step 1
Combine 1/2 cup table salt with 1/3 cup olive oil, blending to make a smooth and slightly coarse paste. Add 3 drops of peppermint essential oil and mix well. Rub this invigorating scrub onto cleansed skin of the face and neck, but keep away from the eye area. Rinse thoroughly with warm water.

• Step 2
Blend 1/4 cup dried peppermint leaves with 1 cup oatmeal. Mix in a food processor or blender to form a coarse, dry mix. Put into a well-sealed jar and use a handful to rub onto wet, cleansed face and neck for a quick facial scrub. Add just enough water to make a thin paste. Stay away from the eye area. Rinse with cool water.

• Step 3
Measure 1/2 cup table sugar or brown sugar into a bowl and add 1/4 cup almond oil. Mix in 1 to 2 drops peppermint essential oil and 2 to 3 drops lavender essential oil. Blend well but don't make sugar start dissolving by stirring too briskly. After cleansing face and neck, gently massage the mixture onto the skin, keeping free of the eye area. Rinse with warm, then cool water.

• Step 4
Mix 1/4 cup cornmeal with 1/4 cup table salt and 1/4 cup almond oil. Stir in a few drops of peppermint essential oil and 1/4 cup dried peppermint leaves. Rub gently onto cleansed skin of face and neck, staying away from the eyes. Splash with warm water to rinse.

• Step 5
Peel a ripe avocado and slice into a bowl. Mash lightly with a fork and stir in 1/2 cup brown sugar. Add 1 tbsp. jojoba oil or olive oil and 3 drops of peppermint essential oil. Apply scrub to cleansed face and neck skin. Take care to avoid the eyes. Rinse thoroughly with warm water.

Joe (no longer a mystery predicaMINT) Nation Razz

(so hope you are laughing Joe)! Wink
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2010 10:06 am
As always...well done! And well done to all.

(I'm working on my impersonation for a bit.)
0 Replies
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2010 04:17 pm
@ Mismi:

Howdy all y'all dear sweet folks.

We had a humdinger of a storm last night which cause a power outage, luckily I managed to relight the candle from my cigar and it did give me time to untangle my hair from the ceiling fan.

Then would you know it; my home suffered from subsidence! But Jethro said he could fix it with a new tire and that would set me straight.

Anyhoo, I gotta get the grits on the stove as my in-laws are commin' over from Mobile; I do so love to see Ma and Pa.

Try got stopped this mornin' by a state trooper. He asked him if he had an I.D.
And he said, 'Bout What?'. He is such a horses ass!

Dagnabbit; gotta go, I think the dawgs have set the trashcan on fire again!!!

(((hugs))) Mis.
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2010 08:26 pm

http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/58f3038d1796ad167a072e70575e7eb9??r=R&d=identicon&s=60 hawkeye10

The collective has determined the role that Asian Carp is to play. Disobey the collective at your peril.
0 Replies
Reply Mon 1 Mar, 2010 09:15 pm
http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/1929fbc83028decd57c81d542777c637?r=R&d=identicon&s=60 JTT

I think you who have a point about the treatment of the Asian carp, but it doesn't change the fact that you are incredible hypocrites! Walking talking dictionary definition hypocrites! Where is your outrage at the millions of dead Iraqi carp? Huh? Oh my god, how can you people live with yourselves when there are Iraqi carp dying in the streams of Bagdad and being tortured in fisheries at Guantanamo bay, how, how HOW?

Reply Tue 2 Mar, 2010 07:55 am
http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/1929fbc83028decd57c81d542777c637?r=R&d=identicon&s=60 JTT

User ignored (view)
Reply Tue 2 Mar, 2010 07:59 am
Laughing Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
Reply Tue 2 Mar, 2010 09:51 am
Laughing Laughing Laughing
0 Replies
Reply Wed 3 Mar, 2010 09:25 am
Is it that bad? I shall have to tone it down I suppose. Razz

You are all amazing. Loved reading this thread.
0 Replies
Robert Gentel
Reply Fri 5 Mar, 2010 02:19 pm
This one's hard to do without putting much more work into it than I am willing to, but:

http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/714815f61823c038b050f2c7406a8120?r=R&d=identicon&s=40 nimh

Dunno. Yeah, sure, it's called "Asian carp" but I decided to quickly aggregate the references to carp data going back 3,000 years and graph it to see just how Asian they really are. Smile

http://chart.apis.google.com/chart?chs=450x300&cht=bvg&chtt=Carp references by millennium&chd=s:FM9,KUH,5nE&chco=ff0000,0000ff,000000&chdl=Asian Carp|Just Carp|It's just a fish&chxl=0:|I|II|III|&chxt=x

Now, of course, this doesn't definitively tell us that it is Asian or not, but it shows that it only recently became "Asian". There is a new poll that asked:

Q3 Do you think Asian Carp is "Asian"? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2. If
you’re not sure, press 3.

Yes ................................................................. 39%
No .................................................................. 46%
Not Sure.......................................................... 15%

Again, this didn't definitively settle anything and wanted to find out why so I averaged all the polls I could find about it and made this graph:


Where A) Because they are from Asia, B) Sounded like a good idea at the time, C) Polling error
0 Replies
The Slow Clap
Reply Sun 7 Mar, 2010 03:45 am
Reply Sun 7 Mar, 2010 08:14 am
@The Slow Clap,
0 Replies
Reply Sun 7 Mar, 2010 09:37 am

The increase of Asian carp (actually an artifact) bore no resenblence to the predicted "increase" that the government scientists offered us. In the early 1990's Asian Carp stocks just tanked. Primarily in the Canadian waters , the Asian carp had just disappeared, prompting a finger point fest . Followup research has shown that the stocks are not recovering because the complex ecology of this event was not merely a "fishing/no fishing" relationship. It appeared that, from followon studies, the Asian carp are actually evolving into a new morphology. The "new" Asian carps are more lean (almost gaunt looking as opposed to the "fat Asian carp "ook of the pre 1990's). ALso the Asian carp head has shown the predominance of a more "asheepshead" look with the mouth decidedly taking a southern trend as the "new" Asian carp are being favored for bottom feeding. The great
Asian carp crash was actually the result of a complex interaction of overfishing (actually increasing takes per year ) , removal of predators as the CAnadians hunted the seals that raided their aquaculture pens (The seals were responsible for keeping Asian carp predators in check, and one of the most influential was the removal of baitfish from the food chain. The complex interaction of thee events has resulted in the decline of Asian carp stocks in a fashion that has made the entire "industry" of seafood ecology take note that it isnt as mature a scientific discipline that it made us believe.
So Asian carp arent so much going extinct, although the "subspecies" of the more pelagic feeding Asian carp have all but disappeared due to the complex of interactions Ive suggested (from my own readings). The rise of the bottom-feeding form of Asian carp seems to be taking over and expressing itself as the dominant form.
Robert Gentel
Reply Sun 7 Mar, 2010 10:48 am
Droid phone beats up two iPhones and a Palm Pre

http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/ed33bad2a17a4d4d383fc0768ab49f88?r=R&d=identicon&s=60 cmacv

Robert Gentel
Reply Sun 7 Mar, 2010 10:51 am
@Robert Gentel,
http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/8fbf2863a6e06c4e5e9a56e4217cac82?r=R&d=identicon&s=40 The Chief

Droid Does AGAIN! Very Happy
0 Replies
Reply Tue 9 Mar, 2010 06:04 am
http://i47.tinypic.com/29p4w82.jpg Asian Carp

Why isn't anyone talking about the Israeli genocide on my people?!

As Passover nears, there is a crisis of gefilte fish, a staple at many Seders. The Jewish delicacy is made up of ground fish, often carp. In Israel, mostly Asian carp is used to make gefilte fish, and the country imports the vast majority of this type of carp from Schafer Fisheries in Thomson, Ill.

But recently the Israeli government reinstated a hefty import tax on Asian carp, holding up almost 400,000 pounds of Schafer's frozen carp.

Workers at the Manischewitz food processing plant in Newark, N.J., package gefilte fish by hand. Israel recently reinstated a large import tax on Asian carp, which is used to make the Jewish delicacy. One of the largest producers of Asian carp, Schafer Fisheries of Thomson, Ill., has had to lay off nine employees because of lost business.

Gefilte fish?! Seriously?! Could we at least die with dignity like the salmon? Couldn't you at least broil us? Or consume us as sushi rolls?
0 Replies
Reply Tue 9 Mar, 2010 06:17 am
HOW can I disagree with such an erudite argument . Oviously it was not mine since the spelling erors are at a minimim.
Reply Tue 9 Mar, 2010 10:47 am
Then look here farmerman - wandel did you too!


Related Topics

Oddities and Humor - Discussion by edgarblythe
Let's play "Caption the Photo" II - Discussion by gustavratzenhofer
JIM NABORS WAS GOY? - Question by farmerman
Funny Pictures ***Slow Loading*** - Discussion by JerryR
Caption The Cartoon - Discussion by panzade
Geek and Nerd Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Caption The Cartoon Part Deux - Discussion by panzade
IS IT OK FOR ME TO CHEAT? - Question by Setanta
2008 Election: Political Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.06 seconds on 12/05/2021 at 11:06:05