I don't do funerals

@ossobuco,

I had more to say, but edited it. Nothing against eva or mame, believe me.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

I had more to say, but edited it. Nothing against eva or mame, believe me.

I believe u.

David

0 Replies

@dyslexia,

dyslexia wrote:

and yet I have no intention of attending any funeral service that will be held for them

then don't worry about the services that may or not be held

seriously.

your cousins are going to attend - let them do what they want - the services are for them, not you, your brother or your parents

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

agree

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@dyslexia,

Sounds like youve abrogated all responsibilities for your parents wishes but feel the right to then bitch about how their wishes arent being followed.

You are, then, complicit in the act you despise.
Sorry, I got no good news for ya dys.
Either take charge or just shut up.

2 Replies

@dyslexia,

People have this thing about paying "respect" to the deceased. All that is fine and good if the company you will be with are not a bunch of ass*****. I speak from experience.

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@farmerman,

Ok. I'm shutting up now.

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@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

The whole irony is that my aunt hated lawyers.

Well, yeah ... who doesn't?

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@farmerman,

Yeah, but you've ignored the fact of how much energy it would take to deal with the assorted personalities if he were to take charge. I think he has a right to talk about it. I say it's a form of grieving, really.

1 Reply

@dyslexia,

dyslexia wrote:

Ok. I'm shutting up now.

Don't you dare!

Okay, you don't have to go to the funerals if you don't want to. But if they insist on burial instead of cremation, you might consider offering to help with the expenses by ordering your father's grave marker. Make it read: "I never liked him anyway."

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@dyslexia,

Quote:

Ok. I'm shutting up now.

deal.

0 Replies

@Gala,

Quote:

Yeah, but you've ignored the fact of how much energy it would take to deal with the assorted personalities if he were to take charge. I think he has a right to talk about it. I say it's a form of grieving, really.

So why post it on a BB ? whats the point? Hes only given some sort of hand wash post to satisfy what?

2 Replies

@farmerman,

Quote:

So why post it on a BB ? whats the point? Hes only given some sort of hand wash post to satisfy what?

Because his online friends are here. Another point, relatives can be exasperatingly annoying. They do the most unbelievably annoying and energy draining things, and they will never change. If you can find an outlet where you can just be yourself and kvetch for a minute or two, why the hell not?

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@dyslexia,

I used to worry about how my body would be treated after I died, and then one day I came to the epiphany that after I'm dead I really won't care.

Funerals are for the living, not for the dead.

0 Replies

@farmerman,

farmerman wrote:

Quote:
Yeah, but you've ignored the fact of how much energy it would take to deal with the assorted personalities if he were to take charge. I think he has a right to talk about it. I say it's a form of grieving, really.

So why post it on a BB ? whats the point? Hes only given some sort of hand wash post to satisfy what?

Geez, farmerman! If we applied this standard to all the threads, half the posts on A2K would disappear!

Often kvetching is a way of working through a difficult situation. And then again, sometimes we just need someone to commiserate with us or make us laugh, not offer solutions.

Don't shut up, Dys.

2 Replies

@Eva,

OK, Ill shut up and listen. But if you hear a whistle in the background (indicating varied degrees of incredulity), That would be me.

0 Replies

Wow. Farmerman actually listened to...me! Now, if that doesn't get a laugh from Dys, I don't know what will! Wink

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@Eva,

Your points r well taken.

David

0 Replies

@ossobuco,

Er, I didn't mean that against people telling their stories, I certainly did. Just that I'm hoping Dys tells more, letting his anger out. (Not my business of course.)

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@dyslexia,

I read your opening post a few times, dys, & didn't post a response because there didn't appear to be any easy answers at all. Also because I hate giving easy "good advice" on the internet which doesn't fix anything, really.
I just want to commiserate with you in your particular family situation. Crappy families can make one feel like crap. That's a fact.
But I was thinking, if only there could be one small gesture of conciliation from your father (like actually giving you the watch your grandfather left for you Smile

) that at least would be an opening, a start ... The thought that your parents might die, with so much left unresolved, must be mightily depressing. I'm sorry it's like this for you.

1 Reply

I don't do funerals

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