Lilia, I can honestly say you are the most amazing kid ever, however much you would have protested against me saying that.
For half your life youâ€™ve battled cancer. You had so many intense courses of radiation and chemotherapy so many horrible side effects, but somehow you didnâ€™t once complain about it. Iâ€™ll always remember how you kept smiling even when she didnâ€™t have the strength to talk. When you went into remission you were so happy and ready to get on with you life. Even when you relapsed, you took it in your stride. I donâ€™t know how someone so small could have so much strength. I donâ€™t think I could have been as strong as you were, you fought for so long and there were so many things you wanted to do.
On Boxing Day we spent the morning playing hangman and noughts and crosses, we made biscuits and messed about with make-up. You put so much effort into doing that and making sure you had fun, made memories. That evening you lay on the couch and we spoke about how much you were looking forward to being an angel, you told me how much the last few days had meant to you and Lilia, I know you knew that you were ready, so thank you so much sweetie for letting me know youâ€™d be okay. It hurts so much every time I remember that Iâ€™m never going to hear you singing or laughing again. Iâ€™m never going to watch Harry Potter with you and its hell to remember that Iâ€™m going to have to grow up without you. I canâ€™t wait to be with you again, time with you was the happiest moments of my life and I donâ€™t know how weâ€™re going to carry on without you but like I promised, weâ€™ll try.
Everywhere you went you brightened up; you inspired everyone you met with your continuous bravery and optimism. Lilia, you will always be my hero, I will never forget the conversations we had, the moments we shared and the fun you gave everyone.
Lilia had a saying, â€śif you donâ€™t push away, itâ€™ll push you downâ€ť and she is so right. We need to push away the pain weâ€™re all feeling in losing our little angel and know that cancer canâ€™t hurt her anymore. Wherever she is and whatever sheâ€™s doing now, she left behind her diseased body and is free to run and dance again.
Iâ€™d like to say that all though my sister has passed away, we do still want to talk about her and remember her. Many of you have avoided saying her name since she went, I appreciate that youâ€™re trying not to upset us but by not talking about her it feels like youâ€™re forgetting our gorgeous little girl. We need to know that you miss her too, we still want to cry about her and we certainly donâ€™t want to act like she never existed.
Thank you for coming today and saying goodbye to Lilia with us. In the end, she'd just had some of the happiest days of her life, she died so happy and peaceful that none of us have any regrets about the way she went. Thank you all for the support youâ€™ve given us for the last 5 years.
That sounds really stupid but i actually have no idea what to write.
I asked my parents and they said "write from the heart"...
Oddly enough, that didn't help.
What kind of stuff am i supposed to say? I've never even been to a funeral before.
I'm like, the first one to speak so i don't know if that makes a differnce.
I just though i'd ask if anyone has any tips, or has anyone wrote one before,
i just don't know what kind of thing to include. Any idea's?
Thats what i've written so far, i'm sure i'll change it millions of times...
Lilia Skye McKenley was born on February the 12th 1999. She was ten years old when she died on Boxing Day of 2009. Her cause of death was Neuroblastoma, a rare childhood cancer.
Liliaâ€™s coffin will be lilac as she requested and will be brought to the service in a white hearse, adorned with Lilies. This has been arranged with your funeral director. She will be brought to the front at the beginning of the service and will be buried after.
Liliaâ€™s family do not wish for an open coffin, as they want their little girl to be remembered as the healthy happy girl she used to be and not how she was at the end of her life.
Liliaâ€™s mother has provided a dress that she wishes Lilia to wear and also a photograph that she wishes to be displayed. I have also enclosed a disk with the songs the family have requested. I plan on coming up an hour before the service to set up decorations. Lilia was young girl and her family and I wish that the final goodbye should reflect this. I may say in advance, this funeral will not be your normal funeral. Lilia was funny, happy and sweet and her funeral will be a tribute to that. Our guests have been informed that black clothing will not be necessary for this; we have asked they wear bright fun colours. The decorations will be anything from colourful spirals to balloons; this is a celebration, not a dismal affair. I noticed on the email you sent us that you provide refreshments in the form of hot drinks for adults and juice for children. However, i will be bringing our own refreshments that we feel relect Lilia better.
All intending to speak have their own speeches that they wish to read out themselves. Her parents have informed me that they expect upward of 200 people to attend the service but only wish for a select few to be present at the burial. All though Liliaâ€™s family are not religious they have arranged for a priest to lead the burial due to Liliaâ€™s personal interest in religion.
If you have any additional queries please contact me.