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Am i a paedophile?

 
 
elflex
 
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:29 am
Now i dont want people to go all hysterical, i am a 22 year old male. I have OCD and have obsessed about paedophilia for years, so part of me suspects i am just being crazy. The idea of sex with a girl under 16 seems odd to me, i mean i find them sexually attractive but they seem mentally immature and definitely not able to cope with relations of a guy my age (i even find girls my age immature).

Anyway heres the beef, i saw this girl on tv the other day and she was 12 turning 13. I didnt find her attractive (she was actually pretty fugly) but she had the body of a 16 year old and i am confused as to whether i am attracted to this...

Strictly speaking the definition of paedophilia is attraction girls under 13, but if they are pre-pubescent. If science is correct some girls are post-pubescent at 11 nowadays.

Anyway, i just need someone to put my mind at rest.
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View best answer, chosen by elflex
elflex
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 10:09 am
@elflex,
Can i also add that i have only ever dated girls my age give or take a year.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 10:18 am
@elflex,
I don 't understand the question.





David
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 10:22 am
O, the question is the title of your thread.

Well, if u love children or find them sexually attractive,
then I guess that puts u within the definition in the psychological sense,
but since u have stayed away from children, u have not violated any laws.





David
0 Replies
 
mags314772
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 12:31 pm
No, you're not a pedophile. You have obsessive thoughts, which I understand because I have OCD too. It's not you, it's the OCD, There is a book that might help you. It;s called Brain Lock, by Jeffrey M. Schwartz. I know how painful OCD is.
shewolfnm
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 12:51 pm
Teenage girls are attractive to men no matter what their age because they are ( with out trying to sound crude..) They are , fresh? I guess that is a good word.
They are young, everything is still.. perky so to speak.

Youth is health and at our very core , our reproductive nature steers us to healthy people to reproduce with. A young, still strong woman is at her prime. Just as they begin to BE women is another plus for them. We dont see it this way because we have evolved to think about people in a different light, but our basic drive, reproduction, survival instincts etc.. are geared just for that.

On that level, the young woman can have babies, still gather food, produce milk, work around the house, hunt, etc etc..
The older a woman gets the less she is able to do so. We are geared to survive. Survival means being able to reproduce AND maintain what you have. Youth wins that fight, hands down.

In some societies, even ours not too long ago, 13, 14, 15 was a marrying age.
I personally question some of the definitions of pedophilia. I agree with people being charged and removed from society when they harm babies... or sexless children ( un developed..)
But I wonder why our society hates men so much for finding the teenage girl attractive. They ARE. They are young, strong, and.. well.. new! It makes sense to me. Men ( and women) just have to follow the rules now. You cant marry the young girl, just wait. ha! But there is no harm in finding them attractive.
We just dont have the requirement to breed at 15 years old anymore because our live spans are not maxed out at 30 with 40 being an extreme age. We can live twice that age today.. and i think with that capability came the " Ok. no more marrying at 14" .. or something. Im not sure how to word that...
mags314772
 
  2  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 01:00 pm
@mags314772,
elflex, the very fact that you know these thoughts are illogical makes it obvious that it;s your OCD and not reality based. Sexual attractiveness of these girls aside, you will never act out your fear. Take comfort in this fact. Are you getting help for your OCD?
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  0  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 01:04 pm
Some of those 13 and 14 year olds look like they are 18 - 25.

Don't worry about it unless you are giving up on women to spend so much time on young girls, mentally and socially.

0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  0  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 03:36 pm
Just a note that people use the wrong word just about always in this instance. A -phile is a person who likes or has a strong interest in, as in an Anglophile. It is the opposite of a -phobe, as in a homophobe. A pedophile is not a child molester. They are someone who likes and supports children. There is a small debate, but probably the correct term is pedoist, as in sexist, racist, etc.
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 05:32 pm
@Ionus,
Ionus wrote:

Just a note that people use the wrong word just about always in this instance.
A -phile is a person who likes or has a strong interest in, as in an Anglophile.
It is the opposite of a -phobe, as in a homophobe. A pedophile is not a child molester.
They are someone who likes and supports children. There is a small debate,
but probably the correct term is pedoist, as in sexist, racist, etc.
That 's a very good distinction. I 'm glad u joined our forum.
I enjoy the beauty of the Westminster Dog Show, n I love dogs.
I 've given them filet mignon n lobster, which thay were willing to accept,
but I 'm not gonna screw the pooch.

Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love (not perversity).
Ionus
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 05:45 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
A phila-anthropist (people who like people) for pooches. A canophile ????
Phila-delphi. People who like delphi ??? (delphi, ancient city of greece where you got your fortune told)....so possibly people who like their future.
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 06:15 pm
@shewolfnm,
I think your points r well reasoned.

The youngest age of marriage that I 've heard of was 12 (Georgia?)





David
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 06:45 pm
@shewolfnm,
Quote:
But I wonder why our society hates men so much for finding the teenage girl attractive.


This subject is just the tip of the iceberg. Our society has a problem with men in general, men who act like men have traditionally acted anyways. I don't think it is hate so much as a broad irrational and unfounded fear of men, the ways of men.

It has not stopped women from acting more like men though, so men should stop taking all of this men bashing seriously and do what we want to do.

re your post: You nailed it.
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 07:00 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:
men should stop taking all of this men bashing seriously and

do what we want to do.
I thawt we DID.





David
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 07:09 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Quote:
I thawt we DID.


No, we have been beat into submission by the women, and their ballless men allies. Everything is fine so long as we act like women want us to act, they think that they decide and are in the habit of men letting them. **** that. What men want matters just as much as what women want, and fear mongering against the ways of men does not change this.
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 07:28 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:

Quote:
I thawt we DID.


No, we have been beat into submission by the women, and their ballless men allies. Everything is fine so long as we act like women want us to act, they think that they decide and are in the habit of men letting them. **** that. What men want matters just as much as what women want, and fear mongering against the ways of men does not change this.
I don 't have that problem; I never did.
I have usually done what I wanted to DO,
but that has not resulted in personal friction, nor unpleasantness.





David
dlowan
 
  2  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:50 pm
@elflex,
Doesn't sound to me, from what you have written here, as though you have much of a problem except for the OCD.

Have you had treatment for that? Because it sounds as though you need to use whatever skills you have learned re the obsessive thoughts for this one.

If you have had CBT, you DO realise posting this is a way of getting reassurance, don't you, and could thus be part of your OCD pattern!!

I am behind on the latest thinking re treatment, because I haven't worked with anyone with OCD for quite a while, but, generally speaking, mindfulness is being used a lot with anxiety disorders at present, and a lot pof people seem to find it very helpful.

Just in case you are interested, here's some info (and humble apologies if I am bothering you with info you have known for years!):

http://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.hope4ocd.com/downloads/OCF2007_MBBT.pdf



http://www.anxietyinsights.info/abstract_the_effects_of_a_mindfulness_intervention_on_ocd.htm


http://ocd.about.com/b/2009/01/11/mindfulness-for-ocd.htm


There's a plethora of material around re mindfulness therapy. ACT materials are a good source, should you be interested.


0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:26 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Quote:
I don 't have that problem; I never did.
I have usually done what I wanted to DO,
but that has not resulted in personal friction, nor unpleasantness


Your class lets you get away with a lot of misbehaviour that the rest of us tend to get rung up for. When you do it it is a charming eccentricity, when the rest of us do it it is misogynistic abuse, personal net worth being the only difference.

0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 11:08 pm
@Ionus,
Ionus wrote:
A phila-anthropist (people who like people) for pooches. A canophile ????
Was Andy Warhol a canophile ?
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Sat 12 Dec, 2009 11:14 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Andy Warhol was also a fameophile...
Quote:
In the future everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.

 

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