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Everytime I think I have gotten the hang of the parenting thing, something else comes up

Forums: Parenting, Parenting And Childcare
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 08:16 am
@JPB,
Yes, I think that's an excellent point.
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  2  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 08:35 am
@Robert Gentel,
Robert Gentel wrote:

So I told them to stop or I'd go beat them up. And I think I even meant it, I think if they continued I'd have gone and at the very least physically stopped them.


Never make threats you are not willing to back up. Maybe they would have liked to play ball with you for a bit.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:30 am
@dadpad,
dadpad wrote:

Robert Gentel wrote:

So I told them to stop or I'd go beat them up. And I think I even meant it,
I think if they continued I'd have gone and at the very least physically stopped them.


Never make threats you are not willing to back up. Maybe they would have liked to play ball with you for a bit.
How woud YOU have responded in that situation, Dadpad ?
djjd62
 
  0  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:32 am
@OmSigDAVID,
i would have given them all handguns and told them to duel it out
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:33 am
@djjd62,
djjd62 wrote:

i would have given them all handguns and told them to duel it out
Very generous; revolvers or automatics ?
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:34 am
@djjd62,
Hey now!

http://www.donphin.com/images/timeout.jpg

I thought it was a reasonable question. (I'm not sure how I'd handle it either -- the problem is what consequences I could dole out as an unaffiliated adult who may or may not be able to outrun them...)
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:37 am
@sozobe,
"Where is your mother?" usually puts an end to shenanigans at the park. At least with the ages of kids we usually deal with.
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:39 am
@sozobe,
sorry soz

i figured that was the best answer that david would understand
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:40 am
@sozobe,
First, I guess you have "I'm the adult here." Actually, I was damn shocked by the destruction of your garden, then the running, then the WHISPERING thing!!!! We'd NEVER have done that!

Then, you likely have "If you guys can't work it out, we need to not have the next play session."

About all you have then is stopping the play time, and calling their mums.

The no threesome thing is damn good, methinks.

Guns are likely somewhat excessive.

sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:42 am
@DrewDad,
That's a good one, you're right. These kids seemed a little more urchin-ish from Robert's description, as in probably nobody around to discipline them. Not sure though.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:42 am
@sozobe,
sozobe wrote:

Hey now!

http://www.donphin.com/images/timeout.jpg

I thought it was a reasonable question.
(I'm not sure how I'd handle it either --
the problem is what consequences I could dole out
as an unaffiliated adult who may or may not be able to outrun them...)
There is an added dimension of difficulty:
Robert said: ". . . at the very least physically stopped them"
but when he released them, if he chose to resume playing basketball
presumably (if the offenders remain intact)
thay can recidivate upon the victim again.

The only legal way that I can think of to handle that
is to call 911 on a cell fone and have police remove them
(if police will co-operate).
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:48 am
@dlowan,
Oh I know, I was referring to Robert's situation with the gravel being thrown at him while playing basketball. (I think that's what dadpad and then omsigdavid were talking about, anyway.) I had far more consequences to dole out in my situation.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 11:54 am
@sozobe,
Yeah, kids with no connection to you are way more difficult to deal with.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 12:01 pm
@sozobe,
It appears that u needed to defend your real estate from vandalism.

Robert 's situation was more alarming
and more challenging.
0 Replies
 
FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 03:08 pm
@sozobe,
sozobe wrote:

I think I'm going to avoid threes from now on.

This is my rule, too. I think it's based in part on some stories of yours starting at about the age Ducklet is now -- 7.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 05:27 pm
@Robert Gentel,
Robert Gentel wrote:

I think you did fine, you didn't even beat them up after the snail thing. Kids are nuts, and you can't even kick their asses. I'm not sure I have the patience for them.

When you take care of them all the time you can shape their behavior with a lot of work but other people's kids can be little demons and you can't really discipline them. At the park today some kids started throwing gravel at me while I was playing basketball.


How old did those kids appear to be, Robert ?
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 05:30 pm
@FreeDuck,
Yeah... I really should've learned my lesson from former experiences. These three have done well on maybe 4-5 previous (3-person) playdates, though... I think they were all tired and ornery and they hadn't had outdoor recess that day (rainy) AND they'd already all gotten together just two days earlier...
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 05:36 pm
@sozobe,
Soz, I think you handled the situation as well as anyone could have. I would suggest a long hiatus from three-person play dates. Before the next one make sure you very clearly convey the ground rules and keep a close eye on them for a while.


0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 05:41 pm
@ossobuco,
Haven't read the rest of the posts yet, after my last one, but best friend Kay is a brat too.. that "this is a waste of time" thing. Ugg, I would have been some kind of emotional mix right there.

I don't know what I would have done. My one experience with surprise rage with a child was with my niece when she might have been approaching three or just after, mother gone for maybe six months, and I shut myself up within a second, control master coming into play - I just remember the flash. In our life since, I'm the one she comes to for talking, which I'm better at, and that day might have been when I started in on that.

OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2009 05:50 pm
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:

Haven't read the rest of the posts yet, after my last one,
but best friend Kay is a brat too..

that "this is a waste of time" thing.

Ugg, I would have been some kind of emotional mix right there.



My memory of childhood was that it was permeated with juvenile candor.
Politeness was not an element of childhood.
We freely spoke our minds.





David
 

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