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Useless inventions (invent something stupid today!)

 
 
Equus
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2002 09:16 am
I think it was comedy team Burns & Schreiber in the '70's that suggested the nuclear handgrenade. It made a hole 90 feet deep and 300 feet across. Only problem was, the average soldier could only throw it 20 feet.
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Sugar
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2002 01:14 pm
Two ideas that friends of mine actually think would make them rich:

Double-sided plates, so you only have to wash them every other time.

A 'clapper' for the toilet so you don't have to touch the handle. Sadly, I saw an ad for this very item about 6 months ago.
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2002 01:26 pm
That's like the double sided toilet paper?
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Equus
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2002 02:34 pm
They have soybean ink- what if they made the whole magazine out of soybean? Then, when you are finished with Reader's Digest, you can actually...digest it. And good for the ecology!
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Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2002 08:55 pm
Equus - that would be USEFUL, not the point here!

CdeV - seem to have doubled up on the solar-powered flashlight.

However, a wind-powered fan would do quite nicely ;D
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Equus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Dec, 2002 02:23 pm
Large-type alphabet soup for people who need reading glasses.

Cocktail galoshes, to go with cocktail umbrellas.
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Heeven
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Dec, 2002 03:20 pm
Motorbike with airbags and air conditioning
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Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Dec, 2002 11:32 pm
A parachute that opens on impact.
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Dec, 2002 02:58 pm
Re: Uesless inventions (invent something stupid today!)
Craven de Kere wrote:
Here are some of my favorites:

Silent Alarm Clock

Silent alarm clock is not a silly invention. Some deaf people use an alarm device that switches on a powerful light bulb in preset hour. It is both silent and efficient alarm clock.
As an example of the useless invention I would propose a coffin that can be used several times.
Or, maybe, a lavatory bowl with upward flush.
Or a chewing gum recycling device.
Thermonuclear kitchen stove would continue my list.
Water soluble wine bottle sounds nice as well.
And what is your opinion on the hand grenade with instant explosion (regular grenades have a delay 3-5 seconds, depending on model)?
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Dec, 2002 04:01 pm
Instantaneous hand grenade has already been invented. Booby traps, ya know.
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Equus
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Dec, 2002 02:41 pm
Instead of a car horn, how about a human voice? With car horns, you don't know if someone is saying "Hi" or "Getouttamyway". With a voice horn, you'd have much greater communicative ability. Just push a numbered button on the steering wheel to access a selection:
"Hey, Baby!"
"Learn to drive!"
"Excuse me"
"Look out!"
"Help me!"
"You idiot!"
"Whaddya, nuts?"
"The light changed already"
"Stay the hell off my bumper"
"Get a horse"
"Cop ahead"
"Honey I'm home"
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Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Dec, 2002 02:25 am
Well jeez, a portal to the Internet that measures the IQ of the poster and cuts them off if it becomes to puerile (just over in ABUZZ, if you couldn't tell).
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Equus
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Dec, 2002 09:29 am
Well, that could never happen becau....
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Bibliophile the BibleGuru
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Jan, 2003 10:39 am
The chainsaw toothpick. (ouch!)
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Bibliophile the BibleGuru
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Jan, 2003 10:40 am
The rotozip cottonbud.
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Equus
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Jan, 2003 09:31 am
How about the REVERSE LOTTO. Instead of buying a $1 ticket for a chance at the jackpot-- you go in to a convenience store, say "I'd like a reverse lotto ticket, please." and the clerk GIVES you $1 and a ticket. If your numbers don't come up in the drawing, you get to keep the dollar, tax free. But if by some miracle your numbers do come up, the government confiscates everything you own.
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Sugar
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Jan, 2003 05:00 pm
Here's another - http://www.popcornfork.com/
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New Haven
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Jan, 2003 07:14 am
Magnetic dandruff remover! Cool
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TechnoGuyRob
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Apr, 2003 05:09 pm
solar powered lamps
steam-powered tea cooker
plastic-protection covered webcam
blackscreen window
Living computer mouse
Bed made out of rock
Empty book (lol Very Happy)
Do-it-at-home homegrown plant seeds
Thirty-two-legged chair
Hand-powered spaceship
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TechnoGuyRob
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Apr, 2003 05:09 pm
Some of my favorites:
Non-waterproof toilet
Non-stick tape
Non-stick napkins
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