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Useless inventions (invent something stupid today!)

 
 
Reply Sat 23 Nov, 2002 01:25 pm
Here are some of my favorites:

Salted bandages
Solar flashlight (I really thought of making this as a kid till I realized how daft I was being).
Fire Alarm with a snooze bar
Thigh implants
Can opener in a can
Inflatable Dart board

------

Here are some from lists (sorry about the duplicates):

Non stick Cellotape
A black highlighter pen
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Inflatable Anchor
Smooth Sandpaper
Waterproof sponge
Waterproof Teabags
Fireproof Matches
Battery powered Battery Charger
Silent Alarm Clock
A Pedal powered wheelchair
Double sided playing cards




AC adapter for solar calculators.
Air-Bag Motorcycle jacket.
Anklet wristwatches for contortionists.
Battery powered battery charger.
Battery-operated nuclear power plants.
Braille Drivers' Manual
Brake oil.
Breathable space suit.
Brown undershorts.
Cabin pressurization system for the Cessna 150.
Camcorder with braile-encoded buttons.
Candy bars with stannous fluoride added.
Car steering triangles -- doubles as anti-theft device.
Cast iron wire.
Cat flap for the fridge.
Checkered paint.
Combs for bald-heads.
Cordless plumb line.
Diet celery.
Digital clock-winder.
Digital computer.
Double-sided playing cards.
Downhill stairmaster.
Ejector seats for helicopters.
Electric banana straightener.
Extra-large bicycle clips, for use when cycling in shorts.
Felt Jumper cables.
Fireproof kindling.
Fireproof matches.
Flame-retardant gasoline.
Flashbulb tester.
Flavoured suppositories.
Foam rubber toothpicks.
Freeze Dried Water.
Frictionless Sandpaper.
Hand-powered chainsaw.
Ice skate sandals, for use in hot climates.
Inflatable anchor.
Inflatable darts-board.
Inflatable PC -- The Ultimate Laptop!
Laundromat in a nudist colony.
Lie detectors for politicians.
Low salt brine.
Low-calorie PowerBar.
Luminous sun-dial, for use at night.
Matte finish floor wax.
Mesh raincoat.
Micro-miniature personal vibrator.
Money with negative face value.
Motorcycle seat-belts.
Non-intrusive alarm clock (raises a flag instead of ringing a bell).
Non-stick Cellotape.
Papier mache step ladder.
Parachute that opens automatically, upon impact.
Particle board tent stakes.
Reduced calorie water.
Remote control for a Watchman.
Reversible garbage disposal.
Rollerblade skates for peglegs.
Rubber Kleenex.
Screen door on a submarine.
Second-hand fireworks.
Soap Dissolver.
Solar powered flashlight.
Solar powered night light.
Solar-powered pacemakers for elderly sunbathers.
Steel-belted radial rubber bands.
Strap-on portable chairs.
Sundial with glow in the dark markings.
Tire chains for motorcycles.
Trailer hitch for the Honda CVCC.
Training wheels for timid sports car drivers.
Umbrella with a skylight.
Unsinkable submarine.


1.Transparent ink.
2.A glow in the dark combat uniform.
3.An underwater hairdryer
4.A submarine witha screen door.
5.See though blinds.
6.Submarine with sun roof
7.Dehydrated water.
8.A cordless bungee jump.
9.Do it yourself video on how to hook-up a VCR
10.A Pedal powered wheelchair
11.A black highlighter pen
12.Glow in the dark sunglasses
13.Non stick Cellotape
14.Solar Powered Flash Light (torch)
15.Waterproof sponge
16.Waterproof Teabags
17.Inflatable Anchor
18.Inflatable Dartboard
19.Seatbelts for Motorbikes
20.Silent Alarm Clock
21.AC adaptor for Solar powered calculators
22.Battery powered Battery Charger
23.Braille Drivers Manual
24.Double sided playing cards
25.Ejector seats for Helicopters
26.Fireproof Matches
27.Fireproof Cigeretes
28.Smooth Sandpaper
29.Hand powered Chainsaw


Please add what you find.

edit: changed title from uesless to useless
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Type: Discussion • Score: 5 • Views: 86,651 • Replies: 139
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Craven de Kere
 
  2  
Reply Sat 23 Nov, 2002 01:26 pm
http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TADeAmoYRs8sAg!u*KZ!PaMoxaiTtA0mFT*UhqGgBJIzBAsd7VntmWEW6QkbJehdbGELA5TwLqOQiYNRXvQ3EZllwbnB47!LDafANvT7Ze2XFR1DZJEXHg/severe_cold.gif?dc=4675332061038519924

There are many images like these on the net, if you find them post them here.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  2  
Reply Sat 23 Nov, 2002 01:32 pm
http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5328/40325086mk1.jpg

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/6790/25279242vz4.jpg

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/1362/70235486yq8.jpg

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/1585/32145910ha5.jpg

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/4060/72378221zh5.jpg

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5127/56679259bb5.jpg

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5752/48451551ta3.jpg
0 Replies
 
Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2002 01:25 pm
Here are some wacky patents

http://www.patent.freeserve.co.uk/pedrick.html

I like the one about piping water from the Amazon River to irrigate the Sahara Desert.
0 Replies
 
New Haven
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2002 01:36 pm
An electric shoelace tyer.

Rolling Eyes
0 Replies
 
Equus
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2002 02:05 pm
500-island salad dressing for people who aren't hungry enough for thousand island.

Disposable doorknob covers for leaving public restrooms after you've just washed your hands.

Plexiglass chin guard to keep from dripping soup on your good shirt.

A beer called "moderately" for when your Doctor tells you to drink moderately.

A cubicle periscope to help detect when the boss is coming.
0 Replies
 
hebba
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2002 02:44 pm
Craven,smooth sandpaper is very important stuff.You´ve never tried finishing a piece of wood huh?
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2002 02:44 pm
OH! Equus is here! That's just the greatest. Taken a swim in Lake Meade yet, my friend?

akaRoger
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2002 02:46 pm
hebba wrote:
Craven,smooth sandpaper is very important stuff.You´ve never tried finishing a piece of wood huh?


Fine sandpaper I understand, but smooth?
0 Replies
 
hebba
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2002 02:48 pm
Yep,for that Super Finish!!
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2002 02:50 pm
Burnishing paper?
0 Replies
 
Equus
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2002 04:09 pm
A ketchup bottle that vibrates so you don't waste time shaking the ketchup out.

Cube-shaped oranges, so when the bottom of the grocery bag breaks, they don't roll all over the floor.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2002 04:15 pm
Actually these DO have a use, especially for people without a lot of refrigerator space.


http://sc.communities.msn.com/tn/9A/10/TheRavensRealm/47/1104.jpg
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2002 04:45 pm
In case you need to register your invention -
http://www.uspto.gov/
0 Replies
 
Equus
 
  2  
Reply Tue 10 Dec, 2002 09:39 am
A fruit-flavored pencil, for people that chew their pencils.

A combination steering wheel-cell phone, for people who phone while driving.

Airbags for elevator bottoms, in case they fall.
0 Replies
 
Equus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Dec, 2002 09:40 am
A fruit-flavored pencil, for people that chew their pencils.

A combination steering wheel-cell phone, for people who phone while driving.

Airbags for elevator bottoms, in case they fall.
0 Replies
 
Equus
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Dec, 2002 09:40 am
A kick in the head, for idiots who post the same message twice.
0 Replies
 
bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Dec, 2002 09:44 am
Roflmao!!!
0 Replies
 
Bibliophile the BibleGuru
 
  2  
Reply Tue 10 Dec, 2002 10:34 am
Here are some of the Irish contenders for stupid inventions:

A chocolate fireguard
An ashtray on a motorbike
A bucket of roasting snow
0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Dec, 2002 11:58 pm
Double-barrelled slingshot
Eraser for palm-tops
Solar-powered flashlight
Ejector seats for submarines
Solid lead wetsuits
0 Replies
 
 

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