BB don't talk to GG

To a fine Email buddy Tim, an Ask the Builder Official with a corporation handling various fine household products……With this copy as Open Letter to [my sons and to all others suffering from the apparent lack of communications between the various Compartments of] The Modern World:


Thank you Tim for that Stain Solver Email offer this morn, a free sample of bleach. I clicked on ‘0.4 lb’ but I couldn’t find where to click in order to send the order so please lemme know whether you even got it.

But thanks a whole lot and hoping it solves my immediate need. [By the way, if you sell a gadget that will fish out that foreign object without scratching the bowl: why, send me an ad. With a Big Job I hafta flush 3 to 6 times, still a whole lot cheaper than calling a plumber, while over the life of the bowl cost of the wasted water is less than 0.01% of the cost of his visits.]

[Thus another Open Letter to Big Brother: If Don is doing such a fine job with Health Care, why not also some sorta GOP Plumbing Protection too?? (GOPPP, a misspelling of "goop")]

[Incidentally at the same time our inventive Everyday Efforts Expert reports that he offered The Ignorant Irrigation Industry five different ways to build a toilet that didn’t require those silly, complex, unreliable ball-and-valve mechanisms that break down repeatedly, calling for still another $240 plum’vis’. No response, a cold shoulder. The III [pron. Ai, Ai, Ai !! ] just don’t Email w/ the EEE [pron. Eeeee!]. One Block doesn’t Babble with the other Blokes, Talk with Their Thinkers.]

No. 2 Son:: In a followup to my posting at a2k complaining about one Authority not talking to Another, again reporting an instance, where it’s apparent, you see, that the Toilet Taskmasters don’t Post with the Plunger People. Tim's a new bleach, s/b very powerful, I hope will turn white all those black stains in the toilet, caused by the stupid plumbers’ tools picking up the coloring of an idiotic black plunger.

Speaking of this Same Subject, the Stupid Software Sort evidently don’t communicate with the Advertising Asses. As the very Ad I got this A.M. is typical of those that don’t tell you how to mail it back after filling it out (The Software Slobs not having yet realized that the saved Email doesn’t give a return address. Guys, why don’t y’all talk to one another?).


But Speaking of Stupidity, why can’t you fellas f’rinstance recognize “isd" as a misspelling of “is"’ and “ti"of "it"? [Can’t you see how the “d” isd adjacent the “s’”? How the “…rm” in “Germ” shoved together making it look like “Gem” ? ….Oops I forgot: That’s on a keyboard, but forgot than many of you fellas don’t even know how to use one. Oh, and ‘adjacent” means “next to.”] Maybe this letter’ll be the Intro to My Next Book, a Real Germ.

[Better’n the last two, I hope. I was especially disappointed in this Germ of a Gem when I didn’t get a single response to any pub. for my "The Lay Boy Book of THE WORLD, As told to the young man, in short words,” written entirely in words of one syllable]

Then there are the “Engineers” at a prominent water-timer mfr who won’t acknowledge a critical defect in one of their products, excellent in every other respect, 'cause their Expert Engineers apparently don’t speak to Cranky Customers. One local innovator owns 12 of the devices, all having failed in the same way for the same reason. [After tediously repairing each one writing many letters explaining how it might be accomplished on their prod line, he has reported this to its maker, who however only huffily accuses him of misuse.]

[Joe please let me know if I’m overloading your Inbox or if you got two copies of this Letter. I’d like to delete unfamiliar add.’s from my Email listing but the Software Stumpers don’t talk to the Apple/MacApple/ Assemblers so it takes a pc expert to advise how it’s done quicker. I’m hoping in an upcoming visit of my excellent No. 1 Son, an expert in this field, he’ll tell me how. I trust it doesn’t require 44 keystrokes…]

[And Ste ve D: I promise this’ll be my very last Letter in your Inbox, but does have to do with “Engineers.” Just wail ’til all those batt timer start to roll in with a broken valve!]

[And yo, Especially Email Ed.’s: When I need to move a word from one place to another you have three Different Difficulties, Depending, on how long I hold down the turtle key. Don’t you ever hafta edit your own work? Don’t you ever talk to your customers??]


[though, given thids opportunity, once again i’d like to plead with Swanson Health Products: In your millions of Email ads every day for med sales you don’t give the no. of tabs nor their potency; so how on earth do yo expect us old folks to make a price comp??]



PS: I’m fwding this missive to a2k who recently have also soffered from software probs: For days on end, immediately after posting, my ORIGINAL POSTINGS HAVE DISAPPEARED, IN THEIR PLACE “Topic not Found.” What ?? [The caps not for emphasis but owe to the Keyboard Kids not chatting with the Terrible Typist (me) but left ‘em in place since it seemed appropriate. They won’t tell me why, but I’m guessgrislying a2k's got some New Managers who resent Letters such as this one, who don’t talk to the Other Managers who’ve been using my grislygripes some 18 years now.]

[Oh and you Software Editing Experts: Do they select you on the basis of IQ (that is, lowest)? “Grislygripes” is a misspelling of “Grisly gripes.” ! “Grisly” means 'ugly ,all messed up,” while “gripes, means complaints…..]

It’s all in the Big Bunch not talkin’ to the Griper Guys. And mebbe vice-versa. My Worldly Writers, my Innovative Incompetents, where did’ja all go ???

Dale Hileman
Apple Valley


S&T Letter to the Ed.’s at Victorville Daily Press: Of course you’ve welcome to this’n too. If it’s too long please delete anything in “[…]”