Get out of your mariage, you state you knew you are gay since you were 10 year olld,i understand you tried to fit with the soo caled straits, what you feel toward to your wife is not love, is loyality and is not worthed, your kids will grow up and leave you, seing their ovn life is normal, do not mater how hard you tried to hide it one day you will be discover,do not mater how hard you tried to lye to yourself you are hapy were you are , you are not,that the reason you find him,mi advise to you take a chance with him,life is short,about losing church friends, job, boohooo, you will find another ones the ones who will accept for what you are, stop lying to your self, if you continu you will end up an olld unhapy and lonly full of regrets,about the god punishment do you believe in biblical god?if you read the bible , you realized how primitive god is described ,they say god send them to the war, they conquer the ones in the hills but they canot conquer the ones in the valey because they have couches pull by bull's, believe me a god who is soo poverful and know everything past prezent future,hi send them to the war but did not help them , and today god give them the most sofisticated weaponry that exist and such sofisticated computers.My question to you is, whoos evolving? people?or god,They said god knows everithyng and the future to,why ?? he did not help them? the soo caled his people,and let them fight with sword and bats,god give a damn of what we do. do you realy believe god will punish us, for what , if he aloud us to be born gay,we know is not a choice, is not our fault we are the way we are,and believe me a i will punch him in the nose if the judgment day will come and hi will dare to ask me why i am the way i am, i wil look at him and i will ask him , Realy are you soo stupid,am your creation and you ask me this question , what you thing hi will ansver me.He will have no ansver he will have no pover to judge us, hi did not exist , period,like i said previously, from the begining of time when a wild tribe create him, until today hi did not help us to evolve , we were the one's who make him to look like he is what people believe hi is,there is not after life, heaven or hell. is nothing after you died,on olld testament they realized how past god is, and in new testament they create another caled jesus, this one is worse than the first one, under first one you may have a chance to be forgiven bi sacrificing a lamb or a bird, but by the second one you do not escape not even after you are dead, and i ask you again who create who, when they said in last book of the bible you will not stay with the grom at the table if you are not chose to be a bryde , and what are the way to be chose as a bryde, if you read very carefuly you will understand what they will tell you at beginig they describe a god the way they believe it supose to be, but at the end of the bible they tell you that the god did not exist by the requierments you have to fulfil in order to even get a chance to enter in kingdom let s not talk about to become a bride and to stay with jesus at the table, because they did not say anithyng anymore about god like he died. watch read carefuly and you will realized how jesus took ower the heaven.and god was complectly retaired or detrone of his pover ,trone and kingthom. finaly like i sayd the life is pasting soo fast enjoy your life and fulfil your filings be who you realy are, i did not did it for my self now is to late , now it is up to you, i wish you only happynes.
: I will prefer to burn and be a supervisor in hell than to be a sclave in heaven :