Gently chastising other people's kids, or the home field disadvantage

Wow, that's an awfully big presumption you've got there, David!

I am a writer, an editor and a teacher. I believe I communicate clearly to the vast majority of readers. Did you miss reading the word "children" in my post?

1 Reply

@sozobe,

U might point out to your child
that she can learn something from this incident
about the benefits of retaining control of the decision making power,
in order to make sure that she is dealt with fairly.

David

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@sozobe,

Oh! That makes perfect sense. At our festivals and fairs, this game usually features miniature fishbowls with snap-on plastic lids. (We've brought several home over the years.) That's the kind of set-up I was imagining.

I'm glad to hear it wasn't a big deal for the girls. Their friendship sounds pretty solid. Unfortunately, when I was their age I was easily intimidated by other girls. I would have given in, then regretted it, then made it into some big hairy deal in my own mind. Pathological, really, but those were the times. Nice girls didn't stick up for themselves. Things have certainly changed for the better!

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@Eva,

Eva wrote:

Wow, that's an awfully big presumption you've got there, David!

I am a writer, an editor and a teacher.
I believe I communicate clearly to the vast majority of readers.

Did you miss reading the word "children" in my post?

I did not miss that.
My point is that u have the right
to reprimand adults in your home, as well as children there,
in matters that, as u say, are of concern to u.

Your rights in your home apply to all guests, regardless of age.

David

2 Replies

@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

Your rights in your home apply to all guests, regardless of age.

True. Though, in terms of safety, I generally don't feel as responsible for adults as I do for children that are visiting.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

ehBeth wrote:

OmSigDAVID wrote:
Your rights in your home apply to all guests, regardless of age.

True. Though, in terms of safety,
I generally don't feel as responsible for adults as I do for children that are visiting.

Yes, but I believe that the focus of this thread
is on defense of the rights of the host (as distinct from safety)
from abuses of the guest; in this case an ingrate who
chose the best gift when she was the beneficiary of charity
(in that she had won nothing at all).

David

0 Replies

Something about Sozlet asking for the prettier fish made me uncomfortable, and it's taken me a while to figure out what that is.

It's an idea of fairness, probably from how I was raised, that if you give someone something you don't ask for it back nor 'trade-sies'. It was probably a rule my folks came up with to prevent fighting.

I think you did the right thing to not say anything. With other people's kids, I try my hardest to err on the side of not saying anything if it falls into the grey area of values.

This thread comes at a really great time as I've been wondering similar thoughts, taking care of someone else 's child who has certainly been raised with some values that to me seem quite different from my own. Differences in culture, too.

I rarely reprimand unless it has to do with safety or something serious that is going or has caused a huge conflict. Mostly, a lot of talking and explaining about different ways things can be done.

This instance of asking for trade-sies worked out because it sounds like the girls have a good bond and similar way of communicating. With other kids, it could have been a stage for so much drama.

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

Regardless of rights, I very seldom reprimand adults, whether they are in my home or elsewhere. I simply think less of them, because I figure they should know better.

1 Reply

@Eva,

Eva wrote:

Regardless of rights, I very seldom reprimand adults, whether they are in my home or elsewhere.
I simply think less of them, because I figure they should know better.

I wonder whether that choice is more gender related:
I think males are likely to defend their own interests more aggressively.

(Hay, what the hell r u doing ?)

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

I was witness to something a little bit like this a few years ago.
Someone had thrown coins around in the grass (dimes and up)
to children gathered around.

I do hope the police were called to report this evident case of attempted child-luring. It is simply dreadful when people do things like this.

2 Replies

@ehBeth,

ehBeth wrote:

OmSigDAVID wrote:

I was witness to something a little bit like this a few years ago.
Someone had thrown coins around in the grass (dimes and up)
to children gathered around.

I do hope the police were called to report this evident case
of attempted child-luring. It is simply dreadful when people do things like this.

There were off-duty police in the area, some of whose children
were taking the coins. No one suggested that the children go anywhere.

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

I am shocked and appalled.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

ehBeth wrote:

I am shocked and appalled.

Y ?

0 Replies

@ehBeth,

Quote:

OmSigDAVID wrote:

I was witness to something a little bit like this a few years ago.
Someone had thrown coins around in the grass (dimes and up)
to children gathered around.

I do hope the police were called to report this evident case of attempted child-luring. It is simply dreadful when people do things like this.

This is a bit of an overreaction I think. Throwing coins is not a crime... and I don't think you can (or the law should) judge intention.

When I do this sort of thing, I superglue the coins to the pavement. It makes things a bit more entertaining.

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

It may be gender-related. It also may be a Southern thing.

2 Replies

@Eva,

Expecting children to be courteous is a Southern thing?

hmmm, well, o.k., I guess since I'm a 'southern' Canajun I'll go with that.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

In New England we teach our kids to be decent people.

There is a big difference between being "courteous" and being "decent". Personally, I don't much care for courteous.

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@Eva,

Eva wrote:

It may be gender-related. It also may be a Southern thing.

Male Southerners r more defensive of their property ?

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@mushypancakes,

Hey, glad to see you're back with us!

1 Reply

@roger,

I missed you guys.

It's hard to find people like you. Yeah, I'll be floating back and forth here probably til the day this site dies...or I die. lol.

Thanks, roger.

0 Replies

Gently chastising other people's kids, or the home field disadvantage

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