Hey TK Oh!
I'm old enough to be your MaMa too and I don't read the 'ole lurrrrve situations well either. Heart on sleeve and all that and then put it out "there" (A2K)... and talk it thru (or not).
Personally, I don't think you did anything wrong - you went out with someone who you'd fancied for a while - you didn't know you were gonna kiss her - you did - she kissed you back - then, you took an opportunity to tell her you'd fancied her - and then you toldl us. You didn't do anything wrong there. Now, she kissed you back - and you both enjoyed the moment - but the next day she's saying she doesn't remember the talk after. Well, that's OK - you don't need to elaborate about the talk to her. She remembered your kiss. I reckon that's a better place to be in a?
I think, and this is just me, and no - it's not what I do coz I would hide away - but you - you have got confidence in so many areas - so go into work, or to the work functions, bright and breezy and show your confidence. Don't become a wall flower and sit back or act awkward (you may feel awkward but try not to show it). You don't need to keep approaching her - if she's interested when she see's you as you are at work and in a social setting - you both know you kissed already - so she can approach you if she chooses to.
Be confident in yourself - and Diest - personally, don't change the way you wear your heart - there's a lot of sensitive, and oversensitive less confident people around - you are who you are. When you talk here, everyone gives you the benefit of their wisdom (or not) on their experiences and how they react. We all do that. There's not really a right or wrong. We don't always like what we hear - but there is a wealth of experience from all different backgrounds. Smart, not so smart, sensitive, hardened nuts - and some that I just plain don't get at all and wanna say O4FS to. Allsorts - differing opinions.
You are slamming yourself hunni - you don't need to. Really -
boy meets girl
girl meets boy
the dating game really hasn't changed much over the years - believe me. It's wickedly tricky at times.
there's a lot of folk who seek reassurance - when you talk to your friends in person, they can see and hear how you are talking,after all, they are YOUR friends, not allsorts, and they know you best so they talk with you and understand you better because they know the "whole" you. Here (online), intonation is hard to grasp, can't see your face, can't see you shaking a little or just needing a hug, or a slap on the back - but I can't see the people I know here having a go and you - and honestly, you have nothing to feel inwardly ashamed about or feel bad for - you are not being hypocritcal. You spoke You spoke what you felt - we all speak a different language so you'll get answers in a language you may not understand - here, and with the girl.
Reciprocation, or lack of, the next day from the girl, made you question your judgment of telling her how you felt.
One thing is for sure - you are certainly not stupid. Try not to feel awkward around work - you'll end up second guessing everything you say to her and your co-workers and then feel cr*p. Just go into work, be confident, as you were before - take a good look at you - what is there NOT to be confident about? You've got a great job, confidence in so many areas, a huge personality, looks of a superstar, great trip coming up, people to meet, places go and you're going on an adventure. Focus on all the positives - in a few weeks you'll be jetsetting. Way to go.
for now, there's a "who knows what will happen" and in the meantime - you just carry on about your business - and when the right person comes along - whenever that is, and reaches out to you - you'll figure out which move to make. Each time it'll be different.
Ha - like I say, old enough to be your MaMa and still figuring out the learning curve. You'll learn different lessons as you go along - but I think at the end of the day - you are who you are - what you wish to learn or whether to change the approach, is up to you.
Just life, that's all it is. Enjoy the moment, don't look to the end of the book, just keep turning those pages and ENJOY each moment when you can - there's a whole world out there to enjoy.
There 'isn't a rule book either where your heart's concerned.
<as you prolly know by now - Ima complete sappy gushy individual - but....hey ho - thatsme