Proved I'm not a Hypocrite Today...

Hi Diest,

Personally, if she was only midly intoxicated, then I wouldn't believe her 'I don't remember the conversation'. If she had a lot to drink, then that's a whole different kettle of fish.

Have you actually asked her out on a date?

Btw (I didn't read everything) don't go telling her you're in love with her.

WOW!! You tell it well!!! I too have been there...it it matters to anyone?

Yeah, but you kissed her. And she liked it. And you liked it. It didn't turn out
the way you wanted, but you put yourself out there and you learned something.
Now what it was you learned I have no clue, but you sure as hell did and now it's
part of what you know and what you build on as you go on. Someday you'll
look back on it and the sweet will be what you mostly remember.

This is all easy for me to say. I'm just an old fart with memories sweet and sour.
The sour ones can still set my teeth on edge, but man-oh-man those sweet ones.

egg-zaked-tidly

she didn't have to be rip roaring drunk, just loose enough were it seemed like a good idea at the time.

that doesn't make you "someone's mistake" she just got uninhibited over a couple drinks. She did, you did but with a different end result in mind. It happens.

How many times have women gotten romantic with a guy, just to sit by the phone waiting for him to call? Countless obviously. It hurts, and you don't understand, because there was obviously such chemistry. While you sitting and thinking how perfect you'd be for each other, he's playing softball. I've done it, more than once. I'd bet everyone, male and female has.

I'm not making light of it, but it's one of many of lifes feature presentations. This is the one about unrequited love, like, lust, etc.

I've known a number of women that, even after just a couple of drinks just feel sexier. Hell, I think we all feel sexier, but some are quicker to act on it. Just like some guys turn into Casanova's after a couple of drinks.

You are a born romantic. That's who you are. You have a difficut time believing/understanding that a couple drinks could induce someone to act in a way that you were interpreting as something with meaning.

Count yourself fortunate it stopped at kissing. In college, the best friend of a roommate of mine would have one drink, and I mean one, and would literally be willing to have sex with any man. That really wasn't her. She was actually very proper, and talking about sex in front of her would really embarrass her. My roommate, her friend, was really really a good friend, and watched her like a hawk.

You must remember this....
A kiss is just a kiss....
A sigh is just a sigh...
The fundamental things apply,
As time goes by.

Spot on.

I know, I know....us old fogies don't know a thing.

Yeah...shut up you old fart

Wise Chai..

No chance

Oh she did send her brother away. She kept sending him off to talk to groups of girls and stuff. It felt very intentional to be alone with me.

The next time I'll see her will be at a going away social for another coworker tomorrow, and then work on Tuesday night. I think I can manage to bring myself to act normal at work even if I don't feel normal. Acting as if everything is normal when it's not kind of makes me feel fraudulent though.

Meh...

T
K
O

Well, there's your hangup. Needing to be expressive all the time? (stares at herself..)

Self control and acting aren't an equation.

No. Away. Not part of the evening. He was there for a reason. Been there, done that.

Next time you're interested in someone, ask them out on a date, date them for a while, then consider telling them how you feel.

~~~

This whole sensitive new-age guy thing just isn't any better than it was 25 years ago. Feh.

I didn't go there with any plan. I just felt that in a moment when someone is advancing affection towards me, that maybe I was safe to tell her how I felt. I was wrong I get that.

I'm a sensitive person. It's how I was raised. I think it would be a lot easier if I didn't feel as much. Go easy on me will ya? I feel like **** already.

Ouch. Ouch. I get it. I'm a fool. I did it wrong.

T
K
Ouch.

But, Beth, I keep hearing on a2k that nobody dates any more.

Good grief, TKO. Why are you battering yourself on this? Can you even conceive that you acted fine enough?

I'm being told to batter myself.

I'm apparently another failed sensitive new-ager. I look at the world wrong. I'm upset, and even being upset, I should be less upset apparently. I can't feel anything in a way that others approve of.

I'm down, and I feel like I'm taking blows here.

T
K
O

Sorry Osso.

I'm just hurt. It sucks being hurt and then having to feel stupid on top of that.

T
K
O

Geez, tko, I could be you, if I were male and youngaer. Be calm, you're fine.

Who's telling you to batter yourself?

No one here.

No one's telling you to be less upset, just telling you that we've been there/done that, multiple times.

I sense you're looking for a way in which someone doesn't approve of you.

What? So we can feel bad for making you feel bad?

There's sensitive, and there's looking for the slightest provocation to be called oversensitive.Would you prefer we all walk on eggshells around you? Then you can say we're note speaking frankly, that you can sense we're only placating you.

Learn the lesson
Put it down
Continue on with life.

You're in the process of putting it down, but that's your process, and doesn't include anyone sending you blows.

How about being sensitive to our feelings, that your making us feel like we're beating you up?

The only one getting down on you, is you.

Re hurt -
ahhhhhhh.

Well, this girl/woman hasn't worked out her own behavior yet, and you haven't either, reasonable for your ages. I think she does like you, but caught herself being, mmm, too open.

As it's a work situation, I'd be careful. There are reasons for all the old comments re work and sex.

I don't think you should be less upset, emotions are what they are.

I keep forgetting something that mrs. hamburger tried to teach me and hamburger - that intelligence doesn't equate to emotional savvy. My expectations of you are different because you are a smart guy. That is my problem - I expect you to be able to be as measured and smart in your social/emotional stuff as you can be in political debates. It's unreasonable of me. I KNOW that, I don't always remember that.

While it is unreasonable for me to expect you to be smart in all areas, I still think it was not reasonable for you to think it was a good idea to tell someone you aren't dating about your feelings for her.

Now, the sensitive new age guy thing. That is a reference to an ancient song (not quite as ancient as I'd thought, but ancient) by Christine Lavin. Apropos, but best listened to another day.