Reasons a married man gets lonely.

I never been bored lying in bed with my wife<grin>.

Yeah, but ALL day and with the tv on?! I'd have to turn the friggin' tv off at least.

My question is: was she sort of lazy before you got married? Or were you just more interested in laying in bed with her all day before you got married?

(In other words - did SHE change or did YOU change?)

I don't know what to tell you. Only she knows what's going on in her head, but I feel for you. If she doesn't think there's anything wrong, then she won't talk about it. I really don't know what you should do. Sorry I can't be of any help, Ferostie.

wow thats excitement to the max..


just go out by yourself maybe she will get suspicious and then get jealous and therefore get motivated to go out with u..

to "make sure"

Because I can remember Sundays before kids. I'd get up early, take the dog for a walk, get a newspaper, come home, read the paper for a while, take a nap, get up - go out for brunch, maybe take a bike ride, come home, read more of the paper, take a nap, get up, maybe go to happy hour and a movie, come home, do laundry, maybe vacuum, go to bed and read.

I LOVED it...I'm looking forward to being in that space again someday. Maybe your wife is just overwhelmed with everything. It's really hard to give up everything you want to do to do what you have to do.
But if she's a mom, she should - plain and simple.
Maybe you could get your child to ask her to turn off the tv and go to the park or something.

I think too often in cases like this, when one party is really dissatisfied and the other isn't hearing the other--there is no communication--the marriage will die of neglect without at least somebody being proactive. Find a minister trained in counseling or another qualified counselor and ask your wife to go with you. Don't assume or communicate to her that it is HER that needs fixing but just tell her that you need to get some things squared away and would appreciate her coming to help. If she will not, go without her and the counselor can usually teach your how to persuade her if she is persuadable. While there are usually two sides to every marital issue, you may or may not have contributed to this situation. At any rate you have nothing to lose.

(I hear Aidan too--sometimes looking forward to a day of doing absolutely nothing is important to our well being.)

Hell there could be a big band in the room and I could care less and I am all of 60 years old.

Lucky her!

Absolutely. I didn't mean to imply that doing nothing is exactly doing nothing.

You don't say how old your wife is. There could be hormonal changes going on with your wife (speaking from experience here).

Urge her to get checked out by her doctor. She should have blood work done to confirm there is not a hormone or vitamin/mineral imbalance. I also urge her to have her thyroid checked.

Also, when was the last time she had vacation time from work? Was she this way during the vacation when she wasn't working?

After being physically checked out, being screened for depression should be the next step.

is she taking any medicines ?
those can knock the wind out of someone like that and they dont even see it happening.

Im in the same boat you are sir.. so when you find an answer.. Ya mind sharing ?

Thanks for all the advice everyone.

And Foxfyre, I've tried plenty of time to go to marital counseling. She'd go for the first two sessions, then the next seven or eight sessions I would go by myself. Everything just seems so unimportant to her to the fact where I'm thinking this marriage really isn't for saving.

I've wanted to leave plenty of times, but we moved to her hometown in Washington state. And whenever we get into a fight or something I've got nowhere to go because I barely know anyone like I do back home. If I try to get into the car and drive for a while she'll tell me she's calling the cops because it's in her name.

I can't go anywhere anyway because I have nowhere to go or I'd of left a long time ago. I feel so trapped and it made me depressed.

She told you that she would call the cops if you take the family car for a drive?

She is a sick girl and my reply to her is to go ahead and report the car stolen afterward I will then be able to file for divorce without question or any guilt.

Also not being a lawyer I would still think that the law enforcement would not look at such a misused of police resources kindly and just might charge her with filing a false police report.

Have a nice drive in the direction of a divorce attorney.

I tend to agree with Bill on that one. If you're telling it exactly like it is--and this is prefaced on the theory that you ARE telling it like it is and not leaving out critical information uncomplimentary to you and your wife is not reacting to destructive words or behavior on your part--then this is far beyond a simple case of laziness or depression on her part. I presume your daughter is yours and not hers? She does not need to see her daddy being a 'kept man' and subjected to abuse and does not need this woman as a role model. If you give your wife an ultimatum that she will go to counseling with you to work this out or you are out of there, and she refuses or doesn't make an honest effort, then take your daughter and go home and make a normal life for her.

Are you divorced from your daughter's mother? If so, then face the fact that you are probably a great guy but you either don't handle marital relationships well or you are attracted to the wrong types. So forget about dating or establishing any new relationship until your daughter is at least an older teenager. Make a home for her and raise her to be a responsible, well adjusted adult. She will have already lost two moms and doesn't need more of that kind of aggravation in her life.

There are some actions that are just a 100 percent deal breakers when it come to being married.

My first wife went over the line when I got serve an order not to assault the poor lady in the future. Such a conduct order existing would make it far easier for her to have me arrested on her word alone without proof of any wrong doing.

Interesting as the only person who ever got assaulted in my marriage was little old me and she even did it once in front of two witnesses and yet she have the nerve to lied under oath that I was some kind of a wife beater!

I was on the phone one second after signing for the order telling my attorney to drop everything and file the divorce papers NOW.

I would like to talk more to you. I have been married 17 years now and I am in the same boat as you. If not deeper in the hull.

Have fun without her..there's no harm in that. Be honest with her. If she is not capable of validating your feelings, there's nothing you can do to force her. Ask her to get a medical check-up. The problem could be medical.