Bad mood bashing

I 'm going to hurl this information into the conversation,
knowing that its only effect upon all of u will be to call into question
how well the brain of some anonymous guy on an Internet forum
was functioning one day long ago, but what the heck:
By way of background,
alcohol has not played much of a role in my life
nor have I ever partaken of recreational drugs,
nor did I drink nor take any drug on the day in question.

On Dec. 5, 1982, I attended some lectures in a hotel on Lexington Ave.,
in an ordinary state of health, no colds, no dizziness -- nothing amiss.
After lunch, around 2 PM, while sitting in the audience of around 200 people,
in my mind (very unexpectedly), I saw a very large White Light
that I intuitively knew to be superintelligent -- off the scale of human compresion.
The Light was over-aweingly Benevolent.
It was a very emotional experience, lasting about 20 minutes.

On seldom occasions since then, I have mentioned this.
Some people have asserted: "that LIght was your higher self."
I have been persistently prodded to identify the Light as being God.
I cannot identify the LIght. I don 't know whether that Light was God,
nor whether God is much greater than that.

Other people have made similar observations,
tho this usually resulted from their human bodies being in
a state of death at the time of the observation.
Thay have discussed conversations with the Light.

In my case, no words were expressed.
I offer it for what it is worth.



David

Phenomena like this are believed to be over voltage in the synapses..

Obviously, natural events, if unusual, are connected to god (Pffft!)

Sounds like what St. Theresa of Avila had on occassion.

She was probably epileptic and was having grand mals.

Believed by whom ?

Pffft? I don't speak French.

No one in my family has ever had any contact
with that disease.

By many neurologists.

Onomatopoeias are not your forte, are they?

I'd though, David tries to master this in his postings ...
Pioupiou.

Yes, thay have never been.

I have usually made an effort to speak with precision (except when I am too lazy).

U have succeeded in perplexing me, Walter.

And that one is the accurate reflection of my reaction to your inane link to god..

Yeah, well, about that God/Light bit, I'm sorry to forward my brother's report on his being dead for 15 minutes and being brought back to life (in a hospital):

He told me being dead was EXACTLY like a dreamless sleep. It was, he said, easy.

The hard part, he said, was waking up afterward, and feeling all the pain. While "dead," he saw and felt nothing at all.

He is now truly dead. At the time, however (12 yrs ago) he was in a hospital with AIDS-related pneumonia (forgot the med. term), and really did die for that amount of time.

God did not call to him, lead him anywhere, show him the light, or reveal anything to him... Not even a handy tunnel, much less Jesus Christ on Wheels.

I strongly suspect that my own death experience (may it be far in the future) will be much the same. No bells, whistles, lights, or revelations.

Just a dead, unresponsive body, being cremated or buried in a nice pine box, dreamlessly sleeping for all eternity.

David, I envy your experience. Never felt anything like it. Not even close.

I can only agree, wholeheartedly.

Do you, like me, ever think, "Cripes, wouldn't that be nice, if God actually 'watched over' me, or Guardian Angels or whatnot? (If God was, you know, too busy at the time?)"

I tried Really Hard, in childhood, to experience something like this, and utterly failed. And my need, I can tell you, was very great.

Responding to myself: Sure, I was pathetic back then, but now I'm not.

Reminder: This thread is about Chai2 and her experiences with this bizarre thing called life, not mine.

oh don't worry about that boriskitten...this is more interesting.

I'm curious...even as a little child, when people talked about God, you immediatly didn't believe (I know that's not phrased well) What was your first memory of realizing God didn't exist? Was it problematic in your family? As in someone telling you that you had to believe, or should?

My neighbors have a beautiful little girl, who just turned 5.
A few weeks ago, I was talking to her mom, and repeated something the guy across the street from me (the renter who claimed he had a sister born without a brain stem....a story for another day ) had said about Jesus, the bible, whatever.

My neighbor glanced at the girl and gave me the "let's talk about this later" look. Later on she said she and her husband are just not presenting God in any way to her at this time, and will bring it up later with "some people believe...." She's aware that other kids obviously have said things, but she's really leaving all that until the girl can make up her own mind about what she hears. So far apparantly she hasn't been curious, as they explain natural occurances in a realistic way, but the way a 4 or 5 yr old can understand.

I thought about it later, and how aghast so many people would be that she doesn't have the girl believing in something.

Wow, Chai2, funny you should ask, since this memory surfaces whenever I talk about "god." I went to Catholic schools starting when I was 3 yrs old (mom desperately wanted me out of the house, so I graduated high school at 17).

At any rate, I can't recall how old I was, but I distinctly remember being told "God is like your father... he takes care of you, protects you..."

I wanted NO part of anything like my actual father, who beat me, raped me and verbally abused me from (as I recall) age 4 on, but (as my siblings used to recall, when they were alive) from infancy on.

I so recall those words, "God is like your father," and the feeling I had of complete rejection (of "god") at that point.

"Like I need," I thought, "Another 'Father!' NO, Thank You!"

I have never, in my 47 years, really wavered from this position. And oh, how, as I child, I prayed to be "saved" from my own parents. No one has ever prayed "harder," in my opinion.

I also recall being made to stand in a corner for a rather long time, in the First Grade (I would have been 4 or 5 then) when I said I did NOT believe God, Jesus Christ, or Mary were "real."

I resented that. In fact, I still think it was wrong to treat a child that way.

Don't I wish I'd been raised in today's culture! This happened in the 1960's... I was born in 1961.

Back then, help for kids like me and my 4 siblings was NOT available. 3 of those siblings are now dead, the last is estranged these past 15 years... says a lot, doesn't it?

Yet still, Chai2, I have to say I am Freakin' Happy now. I'm gloriously happy, in fact, living in a 1980 double-wide trailer, driving a 1986 auto, and working part-time at a public library.

I'm so happy, in fact, that I suspect that any day now I'll be run over by a large truck. Two years of joy, now, and NO truck! WTF?

Oh, and my parents never seemed to notice whether I believed in God or not... no matter how much I cried every Sunday, when we were forced to go to church.

We've had really different lives, bk, but I'm listening.

in my case, I'm decades and decades past dealing with all this - no, not that I dealt with your exact stuff.

I'm just clueing you in.. the import of this in your life will never go away, but on a daily basis, it becomes a big, eh!!, so what? Not that you don't know that already, just emphasizing. There is a cheesy italian wine, est, est, est...

well, who knows, by now it may have garnered grandeur -

but, hey, eh, eh eh!!!

I know you don't care about wine, but eh, eh, eh, as talk can work.

Oh, it was a big "Eh, so what?" 12+ yrs ago. But that was, frankly, after 10 years of weekly therapy (expensive, a hassle, and a drag).

I never would have "gotten over it" without that therapy, to teach me how "normal" people acted and dealt with everyday life.

Frankly, being 47 is SO much better than being 27 (or younger) I'm in 7th Heaven, so to speak. Oh, the joys of experience!

Still, I don't like wine. It's too strong.

Got a light beer? Thanks, I'll take it!

Well, I can heartily say you are a Warrior BK, with a capital W.

Before you took your break from A2K, I remember you alluding to abuse, but I never knew the extent of it.

Great mother huh? Catholic mother whose job is to push out babies and turn a blind eye when her husband fucks them.

Your siblings remember this happening to you since infancy?

My God.

Were they abused too, or were you the special one picked out of the bunch?

The fact that you are happy is a testament to the human spirit, and the fact to stuck to your guns about your beliefs, or lack of.

Hats off to you.

Oh, and I do actually have a point: Virtually every human being has problems, large or small.

I have to say Chai2 has dealt with her own problems in a spectacular manner.

Chai2, sending hugs and Kitten Love! I only wish I knew more people like you.