Bad mood bashing

I'm home now, and ready to vent.

There's another thread I started a while back about my husband and his health.

Readers Digest version, he had started to frequently be "out of it" stumbling, falling, slurred speech, etc. He was quite adament nothing was wrong, these things weren't happening, and I couldn't get the doctors to listen to me either (hysterical woman don't you know)

Turns out he has epilepsy, was put on medication, which worked, for a while. Then, one of his other medications was changed that didn't go with the epilepsy drug, which worked, for a while. Finally I bought a Flip Video camera and taped him trying to walk, eat, answer questions, and showed that to the neurologist. He was already on board with believing me, but was concerned that things were still like this He asked me about his other medications (there are a lot), but honestly, I had never gotten involved with that, since my husband was very consciencious about getting his dosages correct. Except....he WASN'T taking some pain killers he had perscribed for him, but looking at his chart, he looked like he should be all drugged up. Also, one of his cardiac meds is one meant for short term use, and he had been on it for years....AND the side effects of that drug is tremors, unsteady gait, numbness in the limbs, fatigue and not being alert. He should have switched meds a long time ago, but had discussed with his cardiologist a number of times quality of life vs. having VT. Well, this one isn't giving him quality of life any longer.

On top of all this. While the neurologist was telling him he was going to confer with his pain management doc about eliminating/changing something, my husband said "if you do that, I'll put a gun in my mouth, but not before I come and shoot you first."

Holy ****. It was then I realized how out of touch with reality he had become. I made apologizes, and he and I had a nice conversation about it on the way home.

He isn't supposed to be driving, but when I came home yesterday, he was pulling away from the house, I knew to go to the corner store, 3 neighborhood blocks away. When he came back, a neighbor (new one, hadn't met her yet) was with him, and they walked off together down the block. Turns out (he admitted he never wouldn't have told me if I hadn't been home), that he scraped along her rental car, which was parked in the street. He had gone back to the house to get his insurance stuff, so I went to talk to the woman, who was pretty excited. She calmed down significantly when I said no one was hurt, we had good insurance, and everything would be taken care of. That's something she hadn't heard from my husband. Just then, he came back up.....looking like a truck had run over him. If I had been that woman, I would have called the cops to say a crazy drugged out man had hit her car.

Back in the house, he realized he could easily have killed someone, he had no memory of veering toward the car. He went and slept for a while, then got up to eat. Standing up from eating, he went sprawling. I saw the way his leg bent, and I'm amazed he didn't break it.

End of story...after intense conversation, where he did his best to initiate arguments to get the subject off himself, and me parrying with facts and questions he couldn't answer. He agreed we would be going together to all his doctors next week to formulate a plan. When I came home today, I made sure he was listening and comprehending me, and stated I wanted to get consent from him in writing at all his doctors to be his temporary health care surrogate. He's unable to make good decisions about himself, and I couldn't stand it if it had to be a battle every step of the way. He consented, and at this moment, it seems that in his giving up, he's found some relief.

I sure as hell don't want to be doing this. I rather have someone taking care of me right now. In Milano.

Let's see what tomorrow brings.

I ******* hate my life right now.

I could come home any day and find him with head caved in from a fall.

Big Vent















<very gently hugs Chai.... sorry things are sh!te.... vent away...listening here>

Damn, Chai.

I'd hoped that the adjustments you documented on your previous thread would solve more problems. This sucks.

Sounds like you continue to handle it amazingly well.

I get that it sucks mightily though.

thinking.....



not sure how it works in the US, but following on from Linkat's thread from a while ago about consent/decisions issues...

maybe, when you get the consent, ensure it is signed in front of the doctor or.... attorney (not sure legally) - so that, should you need to make any decisions, on meds etc - that everyone/authorities "will" listen and take notice of you because all the i's are dotted and "t's" crossed...

just a thought, you know...

oh wait...

I forgot to mention...

the Friday before the last, after 5pm...he asks me "when you go go get a mamogram, are there only women there?"

I asked him if he meant the techs, and he said yeah. I said yes, that women wouldn't be comfortable with a male tech, and I don't think the tech would like it either, since it's not exactly a pretty experience.

About a minute later, I asked him what brought up that question...

"oh, because I have a lump in my breast, right behind the nipple"

How long have you known this?!.....about a week.....And you wait until Friday after 5 o'clock to tell me???!!!

Anyway, he's gone for a mamogram, a sonogram, and they are going to do a biopsy Monday.

Chances are it's a cyst, because it grew so fast in a week, but it's just one more ******* thing.

Izzie...yeah, I know, that's why I'm going to all his doctors with him next week. I want this done with them present.

god damn, that's some heavy ****

yep... good plan.

Chai - you gotta take care of yourself too. Try and get some respite. Don't know how - but you need to look after yourself (I know, easier said than done when you are a carer...wife/partner...advocate...general do-er and see-er etc)

I had started taking yoga. A beginner series which met twice a week for a month. For $25 more I could go to as many classes as any location (there's one just a few blocks from my house) I would go 4 or 5 times a week, and it helped tremendously. I love it.

Then at the class before the last one in the beginners, all this swine flu stuff came around, and at that 2nd to last class, only 4 of the 12 people showed up. I started thinking about it, and not to be an alarmist, I figured the last thing I needed was to pick that virus up, and give it to him too. So for a week I've been doing yoga at home, and although it was good, it's not the same. I need to go...leave the house...go somewhere else. It's amazing that after the hour and a half I'm gone how much better things are.

So, after we finish up next week with doctors and such, I'm going to start going back.

Bashing Celine Dion helps too....really.

Thanks everyone...I'm all vented out now. Thanks for listening.

I have to go read/do something else here.

Just another ego filled for no reason person.

Man - I'm gonna stop venting, I'm in a happy place.

My thoughts are with you - hopefully you can get a grasp on this.

Well keep bashing that good for nothing bimbo

Came home, had to take him to ER. He's in acute kidney failure.

When blood work had been done no more than 2 months ago everything was fine. So, it's something that has happened since then.

They were waiting for a bed in ICU for him when I left.

dammit man...

awwwwww heck ((((Chai...))) - so sorry

keep us posted gal.. vent away

We're here for you, Chai.

Yes.

Holy moly, if it's not one thing, it's another. So sorry you're both going through this, Chai. Just lending another shoulder is all I can do for you. And listening to the venting. <hugs>