Welcome to A2K Bluangel.
It may be a good idea to start your own thread and tell us a little about the difficulties you have gone through and perhaps, those with similar experiences, may be able to offer some advice.
So sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to lost a parent and a best friend at the same time. There is nothing worse than being, feeling alone. Please do talk if you wish - even if you don't have any answers - someone may have been through similar emotions and could listen and maybe give you some coping mechanims.
Take good care of yourself.