Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Mar, 2009 09:44 am
@mac11,
((((Mac))))

take each day as it comes right now, you'll have many thoughts that suddenly pop into your head and it'll take you quite by surprise... sometimes things that you never thought of before will have a different meaning behind them coz you'll think of your Mom.

Take care Mac - this weekend will be tough so be very gentle with yourself. x
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Mar, 2009 11:06 am
@mac11,
mac11 wrote:

Thank you everybody. I'm doing okay mostly. I'm still not used to the idea that Mom is gone. I'll think I've thought it through, but then I'll think of say, Mother's Day or having the holidays without her.

Maybe cleaning out her apartment this weekend will help things feel more final. It will be strange to have no reason to go to Baton Rouge any more.


It takes time. Cleaning out her place may be a good experience or it may not be. It depends on where your head is at at that moment and it may shift from one hour"one minute"to the next. But however it affects you, you'll be okay. I found packing up my mothers' things easier to do with a never-ending flow of wine. (she had so much stuff!)

Your mention of Baton Rouge kinda jolted me. My mom is from there also. Well, just outside. Erwinville. That's where we buried her. Right across the street from her father and a few plots away from two brothers and an uncle. I figure she's safe down there in the 'country' and well looked after. Smile
0 Replies
 
OCCOM BILL
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Mar, 2009 12:27 pm
@mac11,
Very sorry to hear your news, Mac.

I have no magic words, and will forever miss my mom... but I can tell you as time passes; I mostly remember her wit with an easy smile. Time helps.
(((((Mac11)))))
0 Replies
 
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Mar, 2009 08:22 pm
mac wrote
Quote:
I know many of you have gone through this. Any words of wisdom?


So sorry for your loss Mac.

I don't know how 'wise' I might be, but my mom passed 26 years ago tomorrow. It still feels like yesterday. We still feel her presence at Christmas and other special occasions in which she was such a large part. She was no saint, but she was a part of us all nevertheless and we still miss her and she sometimes becomes a part of conversations at family gatherings where the funny and good stuff is recalled; the bad stuff fades into the background.

I think such memories are a good thing and become a kind of celebration of a life. They should not be fought or resisted but simply be included as natural and the way things are supposed to be and I think they can be actually comforting. The grief process is necessary but then it is a way to let them go but still keep the love.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Mar, 2009 05:46 am
@mac11,
Thinking of you Mac - hoping that you feel strength over this weekend (((((Mac))))) x
0 Replies
 
JustBrooke
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Mar, 2009 08:08 am
Oh ((( mac ))). Crying of your loss. Just a little too close to home right now, I guess. I don't know that I have any wisdom, but I do have a spot in my heart that feels very sad for you.

I am not one that deals well with death. I'll tell you what my Mom told me during one of our talks over the past couple of weeks. She said that no matter how excrutiating the pain is when someone you love dearly dies, it is but a small price to pay for the years of loving that person, and being a part of their life. I'm still trying to cement that into my brain. (for many reasons)

I would suspect that the love you have for your Mother, that will forever be in the core of your heart, will also be your strength in the coming days.

Take care of you.

0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Mar, 2009 08:18 am
Losing close family members leaves lasting scars. I feel so sorry when it happens to anyone. My condolences.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Mar, 2009 04:12 pm
@mac11,
Quote:
Maybe cleaning out her apartment this weekend will help things feel more final. It will be strange to have no reason to go to Baton Rouge any more.


If you are cleaning your mother's apartment this weekend, mac, I hope your other family members are there, helping you, too. Not at all an easy thing to do alone. I'm thinking that, after this, your mother's death will feel more "final" for you, as you'd hoped.

Thinking of you, mac.
0 Replies
 
JustBrooke
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 Mar, 2009 09:49 am
I hope your weekend found you being comforted by precious memories.

((((( mac )))))
0 Replies
 
mac11
 
  2  
Reply Mon 30 Mar, 2009 01:03 pm
Thanks everyone. You've all helped me more than I can express.

My sister and brother and I went back this weekend and finished sorting, boxing, and deciding about Mom's stuff. We delivered a few items to special friends who we hadn't had a chance to spend much time with the weekend of her service.

We didn't try to go through all of the photos and papers. Just boxed them and brought them back, mostly. I know my brother wants to bring photos with us for the service in Arlington, but other than that, there's no rush in getting through it all. Well, that's easy to say because none of it's at my house!
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Mar, 2009 06:21 pm
@mac11,
Glad that part is now over for you, mac. Well done!Smile

So how are you going? (Only if you want to say, of course! )
mac11
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Mar, 2009 06:36 pm
@msolga,
Well, msolga, I'm really exhausted today. I'm hoping that I can get a good night's sleep and feel better tomorrow.
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Mar, 2009 06:51 pm
@mac11,
I'm not at all surprised, mac. Your effort on the weekend would have been physically tiring, plus very emotionally draining, too. I hope you can sleep as long as you like tonight, minus the alarm clock to wake you before you're good & ready! If you can manage it, this is a good time to just leave what doesn't absolutely have to be done & take things very easily. Be nice & very gentle with yourself. Just about anything can wait till later!
Sleep well & take good care!
mac11
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Mar, 2009 06:55 pm
@msolga,
Thanks, sweetie. Everything in my personal life is on hold, except trying to eat right. Unfortunately the work deadlines are piling up. Sleep will help with those too.
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Mar, 2009 07:06 pm
@mac11,
On food & eating, mac (I know how important this is to you): for a wee, short time, it is perfectly OK to resort to those healthier, frozen dinners. (You know the "good" ones? Wink ) I had to resort to this unusual solution (for me) quite a while back when I honestly didn't have the time to scratch myself, I was so rushed! Not only will this liberate lots of cooking & shopping time, but you'll have no dishes to wash! Very Happy AND you'll appreciate your own cooking so much more when you're up to things again! Your own, home-cooked food will taste like cuisine, trust me! Wink

In the meantime, sleep well, mac!
0 Replies
 
sublime1
 
  2  
Reply Mon 30 Mar, 2009 07:07 pm
@mac11,
Hi Mac, not on much but saw this and wanted to offer my condolences. ((Mac))

Mike
0 Replies
 
TTH
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 Mar, 2009 08:51 pm
@mac11,
Just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and I am so sorry for your loss.
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2009 03:38 am
@TTH,
Hoping for restful sleep for you, Mac.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2009 04:24 am
@mac11,
Hoping you managed good sleep Mac, even just a little - it's hard getting the brain to switch off when there's so much jumbled emotion flying around and the hamsters are spinning in your head.

Thinking of you and wishing you sleep. (((((((Mac))))))) x
0 Replies
 
mac11
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2009 07:35 am
Thank you - all you darling people. I got good sleep, but not enough.

Getting back to work now...
 

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