@Francis,
Third eye said:
Quote: No sane society would ever encourage out of wedlock sex because the results are obvious. You will end up with abandoned mothers and fatherless children.
You know I hadn't thought about it from this stance- in terms of what would most benefit society - I was only thinking of it from the viewpoint of what might be better for the individual woman. But when I do think of it from a societal stance - I have to agree that casual and careless sex are detrimental to individuals, and thus our society as a whole.
But I also would tend to believe that if a woman had not had sex before she married - she'd be more prone to extramarital affairs and sexual activity - simply because she might be more curious - wondering what she may have or might be missing - particularly if her sexual experience with her husband was disappointing to her.
I don't think a sense of self-worth and value associated what you have to give or express to someone in terms of your sexuality has anything to do with religion...I think it has to do with self-respect. But then again - everyone views sex differently...for some people it's nothing more than a way to spend a few hours - (if you're lucky
) and for others it has more to do with an expression of emotion and feeling toward someone that can be - you know - a once in a lifetime kind of thing.
I just talked to this customer - who's 85. He's been married to his wife for 65 years. They met when they were both fifteen - I don't know but I'm assuming they were both virgins...he's still besotted with her - she's in a nursing home - he visits her every day- she's his best friend - the mother of his child....what could be wrong with that? How could that have been detrimental for him or her or our society?
In answer to your other question: is keeping your virginity difficult? For some yes - for some no - this girl who was a babysitter for my children when they were young came to stay with me - she's thirty now - and we had some rather personal discussions over the few weeks she was with me. One night she asked me about sex and penetration - she said she'd been living with her boyfriend for a year, sleeping in the same bed - but they'd never consummated. I think the look on my face betrayed the fact that I was pretty dumbfounded despite making my best effort not to express or pass judgment, because she said- 'Can you relate at all?'
I told her honestly, 'No- I'd never had that issue with someone I loved or was attracted to,' - in other words, I found it hard to hold onto my virginity - and I didn't (but even though I was raised in the church - I never felt obligated to try to - I felt allowed to show love to whomever I chose, once my hormones kicked in and a suitable partner presented himself). On the other hand, she found it extremely hard to LOSE hers...and she was a self-professed pagan (literally).
