IS VIRGINITY SOMETHING WOMAN MUST KEEP?

@msolga,

Quote:

It's of no business of anyone else's if any person (female or male) decides to "keep their virginity" till after marriage ... or forever, for that matter! I don't know that it makes the person any more "honourable" than anyone else, though

wrong, it is in everybody's interest that the society teach the behaviour that is most desired. It is in everybody's interest that the society promote health of the individuals, to include sexual health. Your lack of support for measures that are in the best interest of the individual as well as the collective is deplorable.

I kinda like the American system as it is currently, were government opts out of sexual health issues, but pressure groups on both sides of the issue of virginity are free to make their best case to each generation of individuals. In this way the collective acknowledges its responsibility to take an interest in the sexual health of the individuals and thus collective, yet each individual is free to go the way they think best after they have hopefully been taught a few things.

2 Replies

@hawkeye10,

Deplorable?

moi?

Gosh.

er .. I don't think I actually got onto the topic of safe sex (which is a truly excellent idea which, I might add, I fully support! Yes I do! Very Happy

)
I was commenting on the relative virtues of virginity or otherwise. ....

1 Reply

@msolga,

nor was I talking about "safe sex" which has now been renamed "safer sex" by the Hypochondriacs.....I was speaking of the debate between those who favor free sexual expression and a development of sexual skills through practice (my side) and those who favor no sexual penetration till marriage. What both sides agree on is that we have a stake in the decision that each individual makes on this matter, that your "do what ever you want, it is none of my business" position is an abdication of your responsibility.

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@hawkeye10,

Well I was responding to the original question posed:

Readers, what's your opinion about women who keep their virginity until they get married? Which one do you choose, the woman who keep her virginity for her husband or the woman who keep virginity for herself, her family, and her own honour or woman who does not care about virginity. Do you think women who are able to keep their virginity are honourable woman or a silly woman?

Are we clear now?

Rolling Eyes

0 Replies

Well, this may be a little long, but here's my take on it.

Virginity is something that must be kept by both men and women until marriage. No sane society would ever encourage out of wedlock sex because the results are obvious. You will end up with abandoned mothers and fatherless children. Our debauched society has encouraged sexual promiscuity and weakened marriage to the point that raising children as a single-parent has become something "noble". I don't need to repeat the statistics regarding children raised in single-parent households.
As a traditional 24 year old virgin male, if I'm going to be so foolish as to take care of another human being for the rest of my life, I'm going to need some pretty strong incentive.

If a woman (or a man) can't keep their chastity before marriage, there's no reason for me to believe they'll keep their fidelity within it.

Marriage is for life (at least it's supposed to be), and I'll only choose to marry a girl who has shown me with her actions she's as serious as I am about creating a family. One of those things is that she has saved her sexuality for myself only. (And I for her).

People may think that these views are outdated, but it has been the traditional view of marriage for most of its existence. Virginity and marriage are tightly interlinked.
Don't forget that Prince Charming marries the virgin bride.

I should mention that the only reason to get married nowadays is if you want to raise children. If you don't want children, go ahead and do as you please. Just note that there's no going back. I won't choose a girl who all of the sudden says she's a born again virgin or something or other.

And of course there's all the other reasons like STDs, regrets, shallow experiences, rape, rape-accusations, etc...

3 Replies

@the third eye,

doesnt matter, sex is sex, meaningless unless you yourself give it meaning.

0 Replies

@JustBrooke,

JustBrooke wrote:

You'd never catch me holding back my virginity (and being sexually frustrated) ....just to end up in the end, giving it to a guy that has most likely slept with more women than he can count on both hands.

Screw that.

Down with Virginity!!!!

im on my left big toe already, woot!

too bad thats where i started counting Sad

0 Replies

@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Quote:
It's of no business of anyone else's if any person (female or male) decides to "keep their virginity" till after marriage ... or forever, for that matter! I don't know that it makes the person any more "honourable" than anyone else, though

wrong, it is in everybody's interest that the society teach the behaviour that is most desired. It is in everybody's interest that the society promote health of the individuals, to include sexual health. Your lack of support for measures that are in the best interest of the individual as well as the collective is deplorable.

I kinda like the American system as it is currently, were government opts out of sexual health issues, but pressure groups on both sides of the issue of virginity are free to make their best case to each generation of individuals. In this way the collective acknowledges its responsibility to take an interest in the sexual health of the individuals and thus collective, yet each individual is free to go the way they think best after they have hopefully been taught a few things.

humans need to all drown, shush up!

0 Replies

@SilverTide,

SilverTide wrote:

Don't forget that Prince Charming marries the virgin bride.

Prince Charming is a character in a fairy tale.

Life isn't a fairy tale.

0 Replies

@SilverTide,

I am happy to know that most people do not think like this.

Marriage does not "induce" some kind of responsibility on someone. And being a virgin until marriage does not guarantee fidelity, love, or even a strong marriage. Those are things created and given by an individual no matter their sexual behavior.
To think that having and creating a legal tie to someone would MAKE them what you want in a person, is pretty silly.
I am who I am no matter what. Legal tie makes no difference.

Sex is not some valuable item that can only be given to one person. That does not make evolutionary sense. Just "religious" control.

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@hawkeye10,

So Hawkeye, you think it's appropriate for society, as it's represented here on A2K, to tell you that you are a pervert and to prevent you from promoting your beliefs?

1 Reply

@SilverTide,

SilverTide wrote:

If a woman (or a man) can't keep their chastity before marriage, there's no reason for me to believe they'll keep their fidelity within it.

I can prove you wrong on this one. I may be the exception, but I doubt it.

Marriage is for life (at least it's supposed to be), and I'll only choose to marry a girl who has shown me with her actions she's as serious as I am about creating a family. One of those things is that she has saved her sexuality for myself only. (And I for her).

Sex isn't just about creating a family. If it were, people would only have sex two and a half times in their lives.

People may think that these views are outdated, but it has been the traditional view of marriage for most of its existence. Virginity and marriage are tightly interlinked.
Don't forget that Prince Charming marries the virgin bride.

Has it been the traditional view? For most of whats existence? Views? Views on sex? Where's Setanta? He'll know more about this...

Prince Charming does not exist.

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@ehBeth,

Quote:

So Hawkeye, you think it's appropriate for society, as it's represented here on A2K, to tell you that you are a pervert

no, because no one here knows me, we are virtual. Some people here do know each other in real life, but not me.

Quote:

and to prevent you from promoting your beliefs?

everything should always be able to be talked about, in real life and in virtual. Shutting down communication is always not in humanities best interest. I am not prevented from promoting my beliefs, and to the extent that Craven and the mob have attempted to prevent me from speaking is the extent that they have acted badly. Those who don't agree with a view given should speak up and challenge that view, this is the proper response. I have great respect for people who can and do oppose my views both in virtual and real life doing it with intelligence, and with out failing into personal animosity. I have found that some of my best interactions have been with people who don't agree with a word that I say, some of my fondest acquittance's are with people who's views rarely match my own.

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Of course, Prince Charming is a fictional character. I used the analogy because most people would like to meet their "Prince Charming" or "Sleeping Beauty" so we emulate those characters. If you want to meet your ideal spouse, you yourself must be ideal. What is ideal is up to everyone to decide for themselves.

This next paragraph can be found through googling:
"Couples who have sex before marriage are more likely to get divorced. According to a study by the National Survey of Family Growth, women who have the kind of sexual experience Hax advocates " the premarital kind " increase their odds of divorce by about 60 percent. McManus, a counsellor points out that it is, “secular evidence for St. Paul’s injunction, “flee fornication.”"
I don't need to say it but, YMMV. Not everyone who loses their virginity before marriage will divorce. Maybe you are the exception squinney (and your spouse is certainly a happy person!). However, I'd rather not take the chance of marrying a non-virgin considering that the divorce rate is already close to 45%.

I agree with you shewolfnm. We are defined only by ourselves. We don't need a legal tie (marriage) to show our love or affection for one another. You don't need to get married to be able to do that.
Marriage is for the creation of families. I want to give my future children as great of a life as my own parents have given me. To do so, I need some legal recourse in case my wife (or I) fail to uphold our end of the marriage contract. If my wife (or I) break the marriage contract, the people who will suffer the most will be my children. I say, only get married if you want to have children.

I'm no historian, but marriage started way back in ancient Mesopotamia and Babylonia ~3000BC. It wasn't until the 12th century that the troubadours of the High Middle Ages thought of "courtly love" in the same way that we do now. The traditional view of marriage has been for the creation and raising of children.

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@the third eye,

I don't care if the woman I fall in love with is a virgin or not. Women aren't invalidated by a little perforation, train tickets are.

But more important, it's not my decision. It's the woman's decision. If she wants to be a virgin when she marries, that's her business. If she wants to experiment with sex before marrying, it's her business too. And if she wants to sleep around without marrying -- guess what? -- that's her business, too.

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@Thomas,

yeah.. it's all about her own business. We cannot interfere that, can't we? I agree with you for that. Sleep around without marrying? If she were my daughter, it would be my business, too... :-)

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@Thomas,

hear hear!

You tell em, Thomas! Smile

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@the third eye,

the third eye wrote:

yeah.. it's all about her own business. We cannot interfere that, can't we? I agree with you for that. Sleep around without marrying? If she were my daughter, it would be my business, too... :-)

Nope.

Of course, any man I sleep with must be a virgin.

No goddam sluts for me!!!

Eeeeeew!

Man sluts. God's garbage.

They give you cancer and all......and they MUST be pure and unsullied.

Of course, once I **** 'em, they are buggered, and I cast them into the abyss.

Silly bastards...if they had brains and integrity, they'd never let it happen.

Sluts!!!!!
Yeccch.

1 Reply

@the third eye,

the third eye wrote:

If she were my daughter, it would be my business, too... :-)

Nope -- unless she's underage, it's still her business alone. You mind your virginity, if any, and she'll mind hers, if any. That's the way of grown-up people.

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@dlowan,

it seems you angry with that quote... but what Thomas has said that it's woman's decision is true. So, if woman does not wanna be a victim, choose the best way to do. Good person will get good spouse, believe me. (What I mean is not being virginity until marriage is the best way to be good woman, although it can be one of the ways). I care to woman around me; my friend, my sister, my friend's daughter, every woman I know. I don't want they are hurt. Is keeping virginity a difficult thing?

2 Replies

IS VIRGINITY SOMETHING WOMAN MUST KEEP?

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