Nineteen Year Old Son Plans to Join Army

Oh man, Piffka. Craven is probably a good one to talk to about this, since he is close to your son's age and almost did the same thing (and I get the impression it's still not totally off the table.) I can't imagine how hard that must be for you.

O.K. - tell us more, piffka. Why does this seem like madness to you?

(I have my opinions - but this isn't about my opinions, but your panic.)

If you haven't already laid out your thoughts in written form - this is as good a place as any.





and (((((((( piffka ))))))))))

God bless your heart.

We went through the same thing with my son a year ago. He was desperate for some immediate independance, and we told him G.I. stands for government issue. He will be more dependant than ever, with no choices about his life for the length of his hitch.

He cannot depend on the veracity of information from recruiters, and should be told.

It is an honorable thing to do--but my problem is many young people make this committment, based on incorrect or incomplete information.

You may want to sit down with him, and ask him his reasons for the choice-- write them down and research whether or not he is operating under realistic assumptions. You do sound as though you respect his ability to make the decision--and that is good. If he knows you are not desperate to change his mind--but are determined to make sure he has all the facts, he may be more inclined to severely assess the facts you find, and look on your interest as help, not hindrance.

I will have you and your family upper most in my thoughts in the coming days.

The world is a tinderbox presently. As much as I honor service, it hurts me to think of our young ones walking in to it.

Has he signed anything?

The only person on earth I love is my brother. Since he has joined the army it has been difficult to speak to him as he is taking on views simply for militaristic purposes (e.g. he is an atheist but wants America to be based on Christianity to control the people).

I live in the largest military city on Earth and the level of stupidity is infuriating. I am of the opinion that the military contributes to thinking that I consider backwards.

In other words, I'd be worried too.

PS, I'm sorry that I can't be more positive. On the bright side it helps one save money and prepare for events later on in life. I do think it changes one's thinking and also happen to think the change is despicable.

I've heard one has to be very careful about what the recruiters promise you.

You speak sooth. They act like used-car salesmen.

Another concern is that the Army is currently focusing on infantry positions. It changes day to day but I saw several people with high scored and a 4-year degree end up in infantry because no bonuses were actually offered for other positions.

And the recruiter doesn't really determine the bonus. That's determined on the day you sign and they will pressure you not to go unless you sign.

On the day I was to sign up I had no idea what MOS I'd be offered (I'd qualified for whetever I wanted) and I told the recruiter that I would not sign unless I got a deal I was interested in.

This set off alarm bells in their heads and they tried to talk to me about not "going down there to shop. Are you committed? How committed are you?" etc.

Tell him to shop. It's his life he's talking about.

Thanks for your thoughts and hugs. I honor service, too, in a sort of general way. But damn, my comments a few months ago about a universal draft have come back to bite me.

The reasons for my panic? There's the standard mom response of wanting "my chicks" close to me. I don't want him hurt. As Sophia says -- the world does seems like a tinderbox and I don't want my only son to be cannon-fodder. Also, he is taking this so seriously and there's nothing I can legally do to stop him.

He does seem to have it all thought out (more panic). He signed the form to take that test but says that's not the "dotted line." He has been cautioned by his friends and by us that unless something is in writing, the army can do what they will with him... maybe they can anyway. He does see my concern but believes this is what he wants and likes the idea of having his own money, an instant job and the benefits afterwards. At least he plans to go back to college. He is a history buff and very knowledgeable about modern war. Reads the paper, etc. He wants the experience, maybe even wants to have that shared experience with other men.

Thanks Craven, for explaining what you went through. I will pass this on to him. The recruiters ARE like car salesman (sorry Slappy) and I wonder about their motivations as human beings. At least I know R would never think that turning this into a Christian nation is a good idea. He's on the opposite end of that spectrum and has been a member of the ACLU since he was in middle school.

Must admit, my hands are shaking as I write this. Telling you all makes this so much closer & more real. If we had a decent economy right now, he might not feel this is the best way to go. But I don't know, he's acting like it is a rite of passage.

There are two kinds of people in the Army - enlisted personnel and them others. Suggest he finish college, possibly with ROTC, and serve as an officer. The service will still be there in a few years.

Thanks for the suggestion, Roger. I'll be sharing that as well as the other comments with him. Maybe if he won't listen to me & his father, he'll listen to non-parents. Too bad he's so darn hard-headed.

Hard Headed! That's Marine Corps material.

Piffka--

Twenty years ago both of my sons toyed with the idea of an army hitch between high school and college.

My older son was disqualified because of his eyes--the army physical showed that both his retinas were detaching. The recruiting officer urged him to get a second opinion.

My younger son had a fight with his father (who was thoroughly unreasonable) and enlisted as the quickest way to come up with college money. He put in a three year hitch and came out with two years of college credits, a motorcycle and brand new hobbies of rapelling and rock climbing. He also had learned that he did not like being told what to do by anyone, blood kin or not.

Both sons realized--at least theoretically--that they were signing up to be shot at, but I don't think they had the visceral realization that I did.

Aside from the college money--and independence from a thoroughly unreasonable male parent--the Rite of Passage aspects were very appealing.

Personally, I felt that they could mature bit and if they still wanted to join the Men's Lodge that they could find some congenial friends--with college degrees--and go out in the woods and beat drums together.

Women! Mothers! What do we know except the intricacies of anguish?

Do you want some good recipes for chocolate chip cookies? CARE packages for enlisted men are very welcome.

You've got it, Noddy -- there's my panic.

Gads -- the recruiter wanted your son to get a second opinion? <shaking head > What motivates those guys? I'm sure the younger son turned out OK though you must still worry with those eXtreme sport pastimes.

(Thanks for the recipe offer... I may need it.)

_ _ _

Roger -- I know! Sometimes I just want to throttle him and save somebody else the trouble.

I'm just thinking safecracker would be someone to chat with....he's the same age, and in the army, married, and pretty wise for his age. He may have some good insight.

{{{{{Piffka}}}}}

Re: Nineteen Year Old Son Plans to Join Army


Let him know that there are many intellegent men and women that have died in combat. Some of them even signed up just for the education.

I am not against joining the military at all. He just absolutely positively must know that the basic point of the military is combat and if he gets called he must go and he may kill, or be killed. The rest are just extras that are peace time job perks. I know he wants them to assign him to legal work but he will be property of the US Army and will have whatever assignment they give him.

If he understands that, and is signing up for that, then he is making a well-thought out decision.

I joined at 17 I became a man before my time, I ended up teaching at ft. benning as many of you know (home of the infantry) Anyway if you give them an inch they take a mile tell him to think about who he would be serving under.

Sugar is right. Property is what you are, and property doesn't decide where it's going to work, or for whom. It's not necessairly a bad decision, but it is definately not like being a civilian.