Let's back up a second...
BLINKY17 wrote: so i recently started going to a grief class where i met her and we have since hit it off pretty well, we speak via email and phone calls couple times a week and last night we met for a 2nd time, which is where my question comes into play, when she entered class last night, she gave me a kiss on cheek and deep long hug, followed by holding hands during the class,
I'm a bit confused. You met at a grief class, started communicating by email and phone after the first class, recently met for a second time at the same class and she was the one to come forward and give you a hug, hold your hand, etc. Is that it? If so, are these classes weekly or monthly? I guess I'm asking how much connecting was done by phone and email between these two meetings? A couple times a week for how many weeks?
On the surface of it I'd say she sees you as a lifeline. At seven months she's probably able to accept the permanence of her husband's death and is possibly beginning to look outward and you provided a ready shoulder and ear.
BLINKY17 wrote:we talked about maybe going out with kids and she invited me to her parents house for dinner and to hang out, we also have talked about me visiting her in her hometown where she lived with her husband,
Is she living with her parents now or is she inviting you home to meet mom and dad in the traditional sense? These are two different things. If she's living with them then she's inviting you to come for dinner and hang out with her which just happens to be where her parents live. If she's in her own place (doesn't sound like it) and is inviting you to meet the folks then she's sending some pretty strong signals. I'm thinking it's the former in which case it sounds quite casual. The, "Let me show you where I used to live with my husband" scenario sounds more like she'd like to go back to deal with some ghosts and would like you to be there for her while she does so (lifeline again).
BLINKY17 wrote:so anyway im just trying to get some ideas of what my steps could be, i really dont wanna marry her anytime soon, but i would like to have some type of romantic relationship ( and no its not the sex, i want everything from cuddling to kissing to just having that person you love and can tell stuff too), so idk ... im just not sure what step to go in.
This is where you lose me. You want to become emotionally involved (perhaps even marry) a recently widowed woman who is 12 years your senior, will always be 12 years your senior, has two small children who won't stay small -- they'll become snarly adolescents before you know what's hit you, and is still actively grieving the loss of her husband (she wouldn't be in a grief class otherwise). A woman you've met twice.
CHILL OUT! There's no way you can know that her current feelings for you (I'm not saying she doesn't have any - she obviously does) are based on loneliness and loss (rebound) or based on who you are as a person. Not that you aren't a hell of a guy, but you're doing both of you a disservice by thinking in terms of a future. I'd encourage you to be there for her in her current reality but to put aside any thoughts you have of next steps.
Rockhead wrote:Her world is so different from yours, that the only place it can really meet, is a quick fix for you both...
I will follow this, but you are on parallel planes that do not mix long term.
Precisely.
