Love of my life returns, but I'm married already

I'm married now. Have 2 beautiful kids. I had a love of my life. Things were complicated. We did alot together in high school. Got sexually involved. I was in love with him I thought I could love nobody else. Thought he loved me back. Made mistake of getting pregnant. Had an abortion. I Made alot of regrets that I have to live with the rest of my life. Our parents thought each of us were too good for each 0ther. I ran away. Now i've found him again we talked. The butterflies came back. But he's married and has a child too. Now he wont talk> I think i scared him when I said I would always have a place for you.

I had a post similar too this topic and eventhough i've experienced those exact feelings I learned to deal with my own problems. I mean my husband cheated on me for 3 years plus a few incidences that I ever knew about. I was headed for a divorce. Then my husband came back. We've been trying too work through the fires. I don't know how long we will continue, or what will happen. Bt i wouldn't ever want to go through that with the former love. I would just be doing it all over again..

I'm at the point where he is back after 10 years? Do i wait another 10 years to decide what to do?

Hi Calamity,
Thanx a ton for your advice given to Nicole cuz i've benefited a lot from it.
I was going through the same phase as Nicole. I've been married since 5 years and have a 1 year old son. This is my love marriage. I love my husband like anything. He's the one whom every girl dreams about. He is indeed the only love of my life. Mine is a very happy family. But, a few days ago, I met my first love with whom i parted 10 years ago. I found him on facebook. I told my husband about him and he was cool and said that he is your past. Just bid him a cheerful goodbye. But, then, i don't know how I started getting inclined towards him. We are miles away. We would chat every now and then. There was not even a single moment when i did not think of him. I started becoming too restless in his absense. But, i always had that guilt feeling towards my husband. Cuz he loves me more than anything. I now realise that it is a mere infatuation that i'm going through with my first love. I'm now going back to my husband and son. Enough of fooling myself for a stranger. Nothing like one's own family !!!

Thank you for responding no longer lonely - I am glad to hear that my advice works and I am even more happy that you found your way back to your husband before any damage was done. Good luck to you and your family!

See my life is a little different...in 1989 I was to wed a guy who I was engaged to for over five years, then this melodic handsome guy was attending the same university as I and we fell heads over heels in love.
Since my parents spent so much money for the wedding I ended up marrying the wrong guy. I would sneak away saying I would be visiting my parents and go see Michael. Well he could no longer covet another mans wife and broke it off with me. After nine months of marriage I couldn’t' t take it any longer and I left. Well Michael had a girlfriend by then and I was broken and left him alone. Since then I remarried a four timing cheat who had children outside of our marriage. At age 39 by the grace I had a son who is the center of OUR universe. I don't know if my husband is still cheating, he swears that it all ended when I got pregnant...I love my husband and I am in love with him, but the thought of having sex with him is such a turn off. We try and have sex on Sundays but not always. Now after being apart for 21 years Michael finds me and to hear his voice makes my heart melt and my privates moist. I haven't been alone with him but I truly want to be. I just would like for him to hold me for a day or so. WHAT should I do?

Sounds like you and your husband deserve each other - both cheats.

Hello Darnecea,

you make choices in life and have to live with them, that's sometimes unfortunate when you have selected a wrong choice, but nonetheless, you should learn from
your mistakes and don't repeat them.

First, you never should have married your first husband, regardless of how much money your parents spent on the wedding. That's certainly not a good reason
to marry someone. Mistake # 2 was that you married again for the wrong reason and got a lying, cheating husband.

Now, your toying with mistake # 3, completely disregarding the previous
train wrecks and now you additionally jeopardize the well being of your son.

If you truly don't want to live any longer with your cheating husband then
make a clean cut and divorce him, regardless of Michael or any other man for that matter. Grow up and face your life, before you end up with another
train wreck.

I agree with part of the all of the comments here, but the number one thing is to try and realize is it just the infactuation of the "love of your life" or your denial of not really wanting to be married. Now, there is a diffrence between the two for example not wanting to be married/not the married type or simply as the marriaged aged you became unhappy. Most of the time when indiviuals leave their husbands or wives for someone else it just ends up pretty ugly (in some cases). However, cinderella stories do still exist and I believe in soul mates and if this particular person is the one for you he will NEVER go away. Some how, some way he will continue to reappear, my advice to you is to just talk to your husband and see if it's a problem in the marriage or indiviual issues and take it from there. But I would not be so quick to leave my husband right off because I would want make sure that all communications have been exercised and I would desire to see where my husband stands in all of this, which is exactly in the middle. On the other hand, not much details were conveyed about your husband besides he is always away for work purposes and as the saying goes "out of site, out of mind" so try and figure out what the real problem is and address that first then move toward a decision.

I think this should have been quenched before you got married. Marriage is serious and not a matter of "oh heck I'll just get married to do the right thing" no....if you absolutely had one doubt when you made those vows than they should not have been made. If your unhappy in your marriage....let your husband know that and work on it. My opinion is that it's completely unfair and a waste of time on your part and his if you have to question your marriage due to an old flame.

Hi,
I just hope I can get some advice here.
I fell in love wit a girl at the age of 15...it was love at first sight for me. we were together till 22yrs old. I was quite a irresponsible person then so her mum disapprove of our love & got her married to someone else. we no longer kept in touch after tat. They say time heals all pain...but it didn't do a good job for me and I was living with the pain till I met another woman with the same name as my first love. I married her and we have a child. but even after marriage thoughts of my first love never left my mind & I was living a fake life with my wife.
Yrs passed & I managed to find her in FB. she is married with a child. she still has the same feelings for me. her marriage life is not very good or fulfilling.
We both love each other a lot....
Can someone give an advice on this...thanks!

I have a similar story, I am still in love with my next door neighbor. We were never a couple per se, but we loved each other dearly and she always told that I was the man she wanted to marry, back then I was not convinced of marrying her because of a stupid reason: my parents wanted me to marry a woman who had college education and she didn´t have. And all of the sudden she and her family moved, she married another guy and I eventually married a girl who became a doctor. A couple of years ago I bumped into my lost love and as soon as our eyes met I knew I had made the worst mistake ever by letting her go. My marriage is a disaster, my wife has bipolar disorder and has a terrible temper, always yelling and fighting and I only wish life would give me a second chance to reconnect.

I'm in a similar situation, so here is my question to you - would you have married your husband if you and the college guy were talking?

Feel free to PM me if you want. Our situations are remarkably similiar and you will find a lot of pro-marriage judgemental people on here

Nobody's stopping you from filing for a divorce.

It's the best time to say her no. Because you are already married. Say that girl the you can't afford that now.

It sounds like you have one foot out the door already.

Taking the college flame out of the equation, why would you stay? You don't love him the way he should be loved by a wife, so set him free to find someone else. Yes, it will hurt, but its going to eventually anyway.

I looked for my college flame on my wedding day, if I had found him, I would never have gotten married.. I see now that me being in love with someone else made the marriage certain to fail.

Dear bndfhrses,

It's been 10 years, and I'm wondering how you're doing & what happened?
Found your question through google, was looking up stories because I'm in a similar situation. Would love to hear yours, if you feel like sharing.

Have a wonderful weekend,
M