I am married, having an affair! I dont know how to get out

i was just in one of these situations and i just told my wife i just wasn't as happy as i was and that i needed time to myself just to have fun and get away with no regrets and so she said ok and i have not gone back to her, in-fact she is in a relationship with another guy right now and so am i a well and my girlfriend now and myself are very happy and loving

I am not sure if you will receive this, but I really would like to know what has happened? I have a very similar story to you and I am in the place of regret etc.

u said that your man is a good man, then why did you have to have an affair outside the marriage?

hi. i could understand what you are going through and for those who dont understand that when children are involve it is tough to get out of the marriage. maybe they dont have kids so they could talk like that but try involving a kid in a compromise marriage it is tough especially if it is a girl child that favours their father. i grew up in the situation so i know.

U know what I so love u for this and I don't even know u.. but really ur rite neither one deserves any luck I mean come on ur married the first thing to me is honesty. And ur hurting kids I mean y make a vow that u can't keep and the poor soon to be heart broken people u know I have a passion for not liking people like this its sad to just lie to the one u love and u said before they start ******* I believe they already have I mean come on she said their in love!!!!!!!!

Yea, 'cause its always that black and white! Such a smug prick CoastalRat. Sometimes, people make a mistake in whom they marry and find out years down the road that it will never be the 'union of souls' some of us non-Aspergers aspire too. Then whaddya do? Suffer in silence for the remaining years of your life or be brave enough to confront a tough situation with compassion and resolve it. If you were getting a **** deal with your Insurance Company, would you put up with it on the basis you signed a contract when you were younger? No, you wouldnt! Stop being a smug twat

That all applies to ending a marriage -- not so much to having an affair.

If you were getting a **** deal with your insurance company, would you terminate the contract and look for a better deal, or just tell the insurance company that you had a freak hailstorm that destroyed your roof so they better pay for it, even if there was no hailstorm, because hey, it's a **** deal.

LoveBD - Your writing is wonderful - you very clearly communicate the issues and the risks/feelings involved. For one, I understand what you are saying and I sympathize - there are so many angles to this situation. I would have been judgemental once, but on reading your words now cannot help but identify. Whatever has happened, I hope that you have some peace of mind and comfort and that things have worked out okay for you and those you care for.

prayer is your only answer,God is not an option but a necessity hon/When is the last time you rebuked Satan? When is the last time you said “Satan I command you to leave my marriage, my children, my home, my finances!!! Why are you just taking it? You are going through difficult times and you feel powerless. You feel hopeless. You feel like you have no control over the situation. That is a lie! Jesus said:

“Behold I am now giving you superhuman ability to tread upon serpents and scorpions and over all the evil workings of Satan.” Luke 10:19 That superhuman ability is supernatural ability that you haven’t yet tapped into. What are the serpents and scorpions? It’s the fear, the depression, the hopeless, the despair, the family problems, the health problems, the weight gain, the financial difficulties – it’s every problem that you feel discouraged about. It’s those things we have been given superhuman ability over but you just don’t know how to use it.Here is how you can walk in the same superhuman ability that Jesus walked in:

Put on the Armor of God daily. Read all my posts on this.
Get filled with the Holy Spirit. Speak in tongues.
Do whatever it takes to have no bitterness, unforgiveness, fear or worry in your life.
Memorize the Word of God daily and systematically. The Word is your Protein Powder that charges you up with faith.
Speak God’s Word over your situations instead of your situations speaking dread into your mind. still aren't justification for this blatant act of disobedience to God. Do you realize the time and effort that it takes to be involved in an adulterous relationship, if that same time and effort were put towards your spouse, it would do wonders for your marriage? If you took all of the time of planning it takes to be together with that other person, put forth the same energy you do to please that other person, was as kind, considerate, and affectionate as you are with that other person.... with your spouse.... how much better your marriage would be??? Do you realize that when you are involved in an adulterous relationship how much communication there is with the other person? If you put even half of that communication in your marriage it would be dramatically better!!!

Here is reality my friend. There is no future with a person you are involved in an adulterous relationship with. It will never work out, if for no other reason, God is never going to bless such a union, rooted in such sin. Whatever problems exist in your marriage that even cause you to consider committing adultery are fixable with the effort of both spouses and God's involvement. For whatever reason there may have been, you chose to commit to marry that person, now you need to make it work. For those who are yet not married, maybe now you can see why it is SO IMPORTANT to not rush into marriage. To stay pure so you aren't forced into marriage, to be equally yoked so there is spiritual harmony and communication in a marriage. Most problems stem from the marriage starting on a bad foundation. Marriage is SERIOUS.

However, if you find yourself in a marriage that was started on a bad foundation, Jesus Christ will help you rebuild that foundation on the Word of God. But you have to be willing to put forth the effort. Trust me, you may think things will be better in a new relationship, but ultimately, after a period of time, there will be problems. So don't compound them by fighting against God. That is a battle you will lose every time. I know that it will be difficult, but it is the first step to getting your relationship with God back, and your life back. Anyone who is honest, knows that life becomes almost not worth living under those conditions. God will always help you when you are trying to follow His way. Whatever problems that exist in your marriage, adultery is not the answer. Honest open communication with your spouse, allowing God to be an active part of your life, working at the commitment you made to your husband/wife.... this is what it is going to take to make your marriage all that God wants it to be.

Because of the widespread nature of this issue, know that I will be spending time in prayer for those of you who are dealing with this in your life. Both those who are committing adultery, and those who have a spouse cheating on them. My prayer is that you will find that intimate personal relationship with the Lord that you need to overcome the circumstances you are facing in your life. No matter how hopeless things may look, there is ALWAYS hope in Christ. Get right with God, then get right with your spouse. It is the only answer, and God will help you when you commit your life to Him and follow His Word.

We are in the EXACT same situation!!! I would love to chat if you're up to it. I can't tell any of my friends about my situation so its hard because I have nobody to talk to really! Send me a PM if you would like to chat.

The OP began this thread over 8 years ago. Comments directed at her are probably falling on deaf ears.

I (a male in his 30's) knows how she feels, and recognize that people will judge us for doing wrong. I wish things of this nature were simple to sought out, but the fact is, they are not.