Surgery--Again

One thing about depression is that, well, you've got a lot of reasons for not feeling optimal. I think it's more of an issue when its an inappropriate or unfounded feeling of being down.

Well, it's very founded with you. You've got lots and lots of reasons for being down.

So, if you like, if you feel it will help you, I'd recommend going. At least to unburden yourself. Of course of course of course your call.

In the meantime, necrotizing is good, yes?

There's just one little problem with seeking help for depression at this time. I CAN"T TALK. I mentioned this to the ENT. He thought it was a good point. Maybe by the time I actually get to see someone, I'll be able to talk.

Trying to get the appointment was too aggravating to go into now.

I'm sorry it was aggravating.

You can write, though?


NOT ideal.....but at least you can describe major symptoms? Would this mean any meds were covered/cheaper?


I do hope your voice is back in a useable form soon.

Dying tumour in your throat....poor throat...no wonder there is such pain and awfulness.


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Boida))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

The pith. Oh, the pith.

Yeah, talk here, when it's useful anyway. One thing I'm always wary of. We want good news for you, right? That's because we want you to be happy. But if there isn't good news -- if you're not happy -- we still want to hear it.

I worry sometimes that people going through this stuff start to feel like they need to present happy news or, like, disappoint their audience or something. Not so. Tawk. (aka write.) As much as you want (or as little... I know you're tired.)

Roberta, please kvetch as much as you have the energy for. (Yep, ending a sentence with a preposition just to make your day .) I worry when I don't hear from you. I (we) don't want you to post only when you feel up to putting on your "happy face". You are entitled to feel blue.

((((((((((Boida))))))))))

We're here for you, babe.

Boida- I am thinking about you and sending the best vibes that I can muster your way.

Did you know that kvetching is positively therapeutic? Let it out, let it out, girl!

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Well, DUH, of course you are depressed! Anybody going what you're going through who ISN'T depressed would be insane!

Hard as it may be, do keep reminding yourself of the good things.

(Don't hit me.)

Number one on the list is this: The radiation WORKED! All that pain and hassle is paying off! The tumor is dying! HOORAY!!! (You may treat yourself to an extra large serving of pudding in celebration.)

Number two: You've lost 40 pounds! (Admittedly, I don't know how you feel about this, but in my world this would be a major cause for celebration!) Reward: Another extra large serving of pudding. Two if you didn't need to lose the weight.

I have more, but I gotta go teach a class....

Yup, still sitting here sipping lukewarm tea and ready to listen to as much as can be said and can absorb just about anything. We can't make it all go away, but we can stand by and hope maybe energy, hope, encouragement, and wellness will transfer by osmosis or something.

Hubby's brother is beginning to feel the effects of radiation treatment now after tolerating it pretty well in the beginning and he will be going through much of what Roberta is experiencing. Another friend has completed treatment that appears to be successful. Now beginning to feel human again, depression waning, energy coming up, side effects subsiding. Asking her if it was all worth it, she smiles and says "yes".

Waiting for the day we will ask Roberta if it was all worth it and receving the smile and a "yes".

Meanwhile anger and railing and lashing out can be a good thing. So whenever you feel like it Boida. . . . .

I'm kvetching about your circumstances, struck by your magnificent self - I think they call it fortitude - and have a lot of hope that these symptoms just the hell stop.

Fortitude shmortitude. I'm pooped. Spent all day trying to get stuff together to apply for Medicaid, something I should have done when I got out the the hospital. Exhaustion + depression = nonfunctionality.

Got it done today. A friend is coming by to help me make copies. I could do it myself, but I'm pooped. Help is better.

Haven't been kvetching up to par lately. Haven't felt much like it. Same old, same old.

I'm noivous as hell about seeing the neurosurgeon (next week). Oh, how I want that gone.

To reiterate, I'm pooped. Also tired, fatigued, spent.

An aside: I lost fifty pounds during the last cancer siege. Forty this time (so far). I used to be morbidly obese; now I'm just overweight. I'm wearing the same clothes I wore when I was ninety pound heavier. Belts help.

Still, that wasn't a bad qvetch, for someone so pooped.

Hope the goddam Medicaid bloody well happens.

Here here! Or is it hear hear?

Ha! So the forty pounds is just as well gone! YIPPEE!!! (Silver lining and all that stuff...)

When Hubby went through a very aggressive radiation regimen 14 years ago (also to his neck, so I know more than a little about what you're going through, Boida), he lost 50 lbs. However, he is over 6' 1" and only weighed 185. In other words, he weighed 135 when it was finished. Literally skin and bones. It was very, very scary. So there's another thing you can be thankful for: You could afford to lose it.

By the way, you DO know that depression adds to your feelings of exhaustion, right?

Take the help girl. Thinking of you. ((((Boida)))) x

Just want you to know that you are in my thoughts, Roberta. (hoping today finds you feeling a little bit better)

Hey Boida...

mmmm..... you alright gal?

x

Checking in.

Thinking of you....

Me, too. Haven't heard a peep out of Roberta in several days. Wondering how she's doing.