Surgery--Again

Hey Boida

If you can, would you explain the procedure to me - I have read up on it but if you're up to it, can you tell me what you've been told is going to happen and what happens after

Can you imagine the laser as a colour... a good colour...

(that may sound bizarre I suppose - it's prolly something I would do)

hugs goil

you're thinkin' bout it all wrong, B.

here's how we see it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYytAiGWR98&feature=related

you are gonna rock this one out, no stuff...

(((B)))

I think it's related to a stereotactic surgery - just from a blurb while I was looking on google. I had a stereotactic biopsy once. Here's the wiki link - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamma_knife.

Myself, I thought this was a good idea when it was an option, a few months ago, Roberta. But I'm not you, however much we look alike (shall we ever show that photo?). But, much as I think it is the right decision, I'd be berserk at this point re my brain too.

Lasers, if that is the technology - my eyeballs have been lasered six times, so I get the qualms. I think there are probably some iffy vision quacks out there, given the popularity, but I'm betting on your surgical team. I'll be confident for you.

Izzie, I know as much as I want to know. I have found that too much knowledge is not good for me.

I will arrive before dawn. I'll have an MRI. They will examine it very carefully so that they can zero in exactly on the tumor.

Then I'll be sedated (not anesthetized) and given pain killers. They're gonna put some kinda device on my head to keep it immobilized and possibly to help them line things up.

Then they'll zap me.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel that day, but I'm supposed to feel fine by the following day.

They warned me that my hair might fall out at the zap location. (Throw in a few dirty words here. I ain't wearing a hat in warm weather.)

I read up about gamma rays. They have no color, but I've pictured the color first as red, then as yellow, and ultimately as green.

RH, I'd rather chase a light around on the ground than have the light chasing me. It must be the cheetah in me.

osso, I think this option is a wonderful idea. I would have refused six weeks of radiation on my brain. This will be much better. I'm just agitated that I need anything. Wanted it to be gone.

(What photo? We look alike? I didn't think that when I saw you.)

Throwing in a mini oy. Better than a thud.

Yep, you know what you need to for now - sedation will be better than a general - you will be verra relaxed

now, I imagine, you are far from relaxed

so - I hope you are distracting with cleaning and so on and so forth and that you'll be online a bit later ...

the colours are good - a multitude of colours in between but getting to the green is the bit to look forward to and focus on - try to imagine the colours before you go down for the procedure, if you can, put your feelings into the colours in your head... maybe take some paper and colouring materials with you for doodling whilst all the bits and pieces are going on around you beforehand - the waiting is the worst time and then it seems to be all rush rush rush

once the sedation kicks in, go with it and... tho it sounds bleugh, just enjoy the rest (as in zzzzing) - Wednesday will be a new start...

hoping this will be the final zap for you goil

will be cyberly holding your hand

love you Boida x

The immobilizing part's no fun - but you know that.

I will cross my fingers for a reasonably comfortable day and PoiFeKt outcome.

Sending hugs from brendalee and the Empress.

Izzie, Too pissed to think about colors. Got a call to remind me about the procedure. The woman on the phone suggested that it was my fault I missed the last appointment. Then she gave me the wrong time to be at the hospital. I said, "But they told me 5:45." She said I was right. What if I hadn't been home and got her wrong message on my machine. What is going on at this place. I'm losing confidence by the minute.

Bethie, I know about head immobilization. They had an immobilizing mask made for me when I had the throat radiation. Blech. My thanks to you BrendaLee, and the Empress for the good wishes.

I want this OVER.

You said it sister.

Tell them you want it done, and done right.

It will be over real soon Boida.... I can imagine how frustrated you are, inconsistencies and procedures and gammas and acks for the longest time and still having to slog on with even more interventions...

I'm focusing real hard now to send you ommmmmmmms and posivibes, some peace and serenity thougths, hoping they will reach you by the morning

(ignore the call - that's their problem - focus on you right now and one step at a time...)

what time will Robin be arriving? Remind her before she picks you up that you have a prescription to fill...

please take some paper to doodle on whilst the hustle and bustle goes on around you

here's some more to keep you going, they are some of faves since I have been here...

omming with and to you and know that there is a whole lot of love in the world coming your way, albeit you can't see but I hope you will feel it tomorrow... I know how anxious you must be, I understand how scary this whole thing is for you...





love you goi, more than wordsl...

not at work tomorrow so will sit here with you for a while if you are up early love

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (((((((((((((((((((((Boida))))))))))))))))

hugs and querida love...

Iz x

bethie, You can be sure that I'm gonna tell them I want it done right. I have every intention of letting the docs know that my confidence has been shaken by the incompetence I've experienced at the hospital. Maybe it will make them try harder.

Izzie, Thanks for the glorious pictures. Robin already knows about the prescription. It has to be filled in my neighborhood.

No point in paper or reading materials. I won't have my glasses on. Can't see without them, but thanks for the suggestion.

Gonna try to take a nap in a little while. My eating/drinking time is over. My day was very compressed. I finished dinner just in time to have my prebed snack, which I usually have at sunrise.

Love you too, kiddo.

I'll post here as soon as I'm able.

(((B)))

No sleep at all. Why? Neighbor playing stereo too loud. I actually pounded on his door at 1:30 in the morning. No answer. Just more music.

I gotta get moving. Later.

See ya when you get back.

Thoughts and prayers are with you Roberta!

Oh no! Stupid neighbor.

Thinking of you and looking forward to a report though I know that we may have to wait a bit. Take your time.

hanging around
waiting

good thoughts headed to new yawk

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmming from this side of the pond...

Back--and alive--more or less.

Very painful and uncomfortable. Did you hear me yelling? Probably not. My voice ain't what it used to be.

I left with a gigantic bandage wrapped around my head. Must keep it on till tomorrow. Lots of afterpain.

Robin is getting the prescription filled. Steroids for the swelling. The first pharmacy didn't have it. The second one does. She's gonna bring back some food for the both of us. I will eat and sleep.

I saw the super and kvetched about my lound neighbors. He said he'd take care of it.

And you know what?

It's OVER.

In three months I'll have another MRI to see how things are going.

Grateful to each and every one of you for hanging in with me. It's been a long, long haul.

Sending a global hug. (((((everybody)))))

Oh how very good to see you goil... hugging you right back

IT'S OVER!

Sending you healing wishes and hoping the pain will stop - eat and sleep Roberta... eat and sleep.

love you... so so pleased to see you.






and breathe...











and YAY!