Surgery--Again

The self-portrait I described a few weeks ago will be on display at the art therpists league (or some such thing) presentation. No names. It will be shown in the Bellevue Atrium next Thursday and Friday.

The red at the bottom--my burning throat. The spikes at the top--my brain not working the way I want it to and ooky spikes of hair that won't lie down.

The two vertical lines at the top--wrinkles that appeared in the past year. The one horizontal line--a mouth. And the parentheses. A hint of a smile.

The art therapist (a goil born in the Bronx) asked me why I picked the purple. A strong color. Why? It combines red and blue. Can't get stronger than that. Amazing, enlightening, revealing, and liberating.

Next exercise. She wanted me to relax. No mean feat. Pick out a color that you think of as relaxing. Aqua. Now close your eyes and put chalk to paper in what you think is a relaxing motion. Close my eyes? I'm drawing a picture with my eyes closed? Yup. I started doing it. Gentle swooping motions with the tactile experience of chalk on rough paper. Unbelievably relaxing. I extricated myself from the moment to say that my left side felt left out. I picked another relaxing color--lime green. She gave me a bigger piece of paper. Now, again with my eyes closed, I started making relaxing swooping movements on the paper with both hands. Relaxing beyond words. Almost transporting. Soothing.

Oh Boida - I have missed you and not knowing what was happening with you. I missed you too. Said so on the yabber liner thread.

Quote:

The self-portrait I described a few weeks ago will be on display at the art therpists league (or some such thing) presentation. No names. It will be shown in the Bellevue Atrium next Thursday and Friday.

I cannot think of a better thing (well you'll hear what I mean), right now, for you... than to see your self portrait in colours and feelings, as a image for everyone to see "you" - the "you" that you feel, not what your body looks like on the outside but how it feels on the inside and how you see yourself, how it feels to be you on the inside. Very insightful. This is what is so wonderful about this kind of therapy. Revelations. The therapist writes what I say. She is actually quoting me at the exhibit. She called me this morning about an appointment. I asked what the line notes to the drawing would be. Now they're all changed. I reminded her that she was talking to an editor. She had to admit that the notes were improved.


Do something for me Boida - if you can, no, not for me, do it for you - I reckon it might be hard, knowing you as I do, but try, when that portrait hangs on the wall - to take a good long look and see how far you've come ... certainly since I've been here for two years - what you've dealt with..... well, I reckon most other peoples self portraits would less vibrant - from what we know of you and love about you - it's your vibrance, very kvetching , even when you feel it gets a little cloudy in there. Be very proud of you. I thought about what you said. I think if I had drawn a self-portrait a while back, it would have been gray.
I hope that putting the self portrait up will give you even more liberation. Drawing it was the liberation. Since I didn't know I was going to draw a picture of me, it was liberating to just let the chalk fly. I said to the therapist, "I didn't know I was so angry."




<of course, I could think of a million and one things that would be better for you, like Howie and his pooch, Still in the family.and the pigeons at the hospital Saw a robin and a sparrow last week., a safari with neverending supplies of chocolate brownies, Howie brought me brownies to die for.dinner with a MenschHad this--dinner with Thomas and dinner with a cousin (not Howie)... but... right now... I reckon a self portrait display to show everyone you are a survivor is pretty darn good goil!>

love ya!

Love you too, ya big Iz.



<have a picture or two for you that I took over the weekend - will post it on your other thread when I can, simple... but you'll like fer sure >

I'm having a brain MRI on Tuesday.