Smell-a-thon-cook-fest-wife must stop!

But if it is as sly and as tawdry as you suggest with loaded words like prostitution and manipulation, why not argue that “sex” isn’t the currency…it’s the feigned interest. It’s ugly either way.

Is it that hard of a stretch to view the comment ‘maybe you’ll even get sex’ as a happy aside to the idea that a person who sincerely feels respected, listened to… validated… in some way, is more inclined to intimacy of all kinds?

AS THE YEARS GO BY
Mashmakhan

A child asks his mother do you love me
And it really means will you protect me
His mother answers him I love you
And it really means
You've been a good boy
And as the years go by
True love will never die

At seventeen a girl says do you love me
And it really means will you respect me
The teenage boy answers I love you
And it really means
Can I make love to you
And as the years go by
True love will never die

I will love you forever
I will love you forever

At sixty five his wife says
Do you love me
And it means I'd like to hear it again
Her husband says to her I love you
But it really means I love you till the end
And as the years go by
True love will never die

Now you're asking me if I love you
And it really means will I marry you
And I answer yes I love you
But it really means that I won't be untrue
And as the years go by
True love will never die

I will love you forever
I will love you forever

Is that yo-yo of your's bigger than you Chum?

Shakespeare called music the food of love...

Yo-Yo Ma was born in Paris to Chinese parents and had a musical upbringing, I was born to Jewish parents and also had a musical upbringing.

Chum - you are such a tease!
I'm surprised you aren't wearing that entire pot of smelly food she prepares on your head, and don't have wooden spoons jammed down your throat.

Your wife must be a very patient person . . .

Why, thank ya, Joe! I was kinda thinking of my recent birthday gift to my 79-year-old mother, a little joke-book called "Porn for Women." We both thought it was very, very funny!

In case you can't read the writing, he's saying, "Ooh look, the NFL playoffs are today. I bet we'll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair."

Want sex from your wife? Yep, say stuff like this, and vacuum the carpet while you're at it!

Who wants sex from a wife after the running in is done and dusted?

Chumly, I believe.

She's gone crabby, and is broadcasting throughout the house (at needless volume) any and all issues of insignificant proportion; this in "concert" with really-really foul smelling farts. Her actions should come as no surprise to the gentle readers of this thread, given she spent the day with her senile old mother; however I am at loss to fully explain the exceedingly raucous out-gassing, and she has yet to explain them, let alone apologize for them. She is at the moment grumbling loudly to her self while she bangs around loudly in the kitchen

Also for reasons best left to the cat, the poor creature is whizzing about the house, grappling furtively at the numerous strategically stationed cat scratch posts.

I myself am positioned in the master bedroom, with the door solidly locked, and the TV burbling, while practicing arpeggios on my Brain Moore i2.13 electric guitar, hoping the storm breaks.

She just called through the door of the master bedroom and said "sorry" twice in succession. I excerpted myself from said retreat and we had a nice hug and kiss, then she gave further apologies for her brusqueness but was still at a loss to explain the sulfurous gaseous outpourings.

Star Trek is on now, and James T Kirk is voicing over the Captain's Log.

Marital bliss is indeed a gentle dynamic!

Chumly, my dear, I've gotta say this. I feel embarrassed (no, mortified, really) for your wife each time you mention her farting activities on this thread. It's information that, well... I find rather private. I just don't feel right knowing about it. Call me Miss Prissy, but it's the truth.

I would really hate it if anyone (especially a significant other!) made a big deal about my farts on the internet! And as if they don't!

Blest be the tie that binds
Our farts in matrimonial love
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above

So, Chumly, you fart, too!

Till now I'd sort of gotten the impression that there was only one farter in your matrimonial home!

You know, I'll bet you even the Queen of England farts. Certainly her corgis do, according to "palace sources".

Intimacy has its prices (as your poem acknowledges).

Nope I am rarely responsible for smells of the cooking or digestive variety, it would perhaps be a more balanced relationship if my smells = her smells, if that was the case then the seesaw of scents would be like yin-yang but no, my only claim to fame is the occasional use of tea tree oil for itchy scalp.

You & your wife are eating completely different foods, Chumly?

Yes!! She eats foods with various spices, dressings, oils and the like however I must eat ultra plain and bland. I don't blame her for wanting to enjoy interesting foods and it's my diet that restricts me; I simply don't want to be a casualty of culinary collateral damage.

My cats have Always done this... when the weather changes. Here in FL the weather has gone "cold" in the past 2 days, thus the running about and acting all nutty.

And here I hafta say: Insignificant Proportion is Your judgment of the issues she's bringing up, NOT hers.

Is it OK if I say I think this post is Really Cute?

She's trying to make up. It sounds sweet to me.

It seems to me that this thread is a pilot sit-com production.