Smell-a-thon-cook-fest-wife must stop!

Woah, does that mean you smiled, or even laughed?

I did!

Perhaps advise him "be fruitful and multiply" (but not in those words).

Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean.

I bet you have laughed plenty at the domestic incompatibilities of others Chum.

You'd think Mrs. Chumly might be chubby but she's a bustling sprite of landscaping-rock-moving springiness.

I am assuredly assiduous in my dour determination to be on the downbeat domestically.

Perhaps Chum you might profit from a glance at Veblen's essay Survivals of the Non-Invidious Interest which is Chap. 13 of his masterpiece The Theory of the Leisure Class.

I'm STILL laughing at "a modicum of glee," and "she was clean and crisp when I met her."

CRISP!

I was prolly Crisp too, when I first dated my husband 16 years ago! Snort!

In summary, wasna this Supposed to be funny???

She's seeing her mother today (and her claims to the contrary that this has no effect) she is domineering, impatient, rude, loud, using profanities, and won't listen when I politely respond to her opinionated, confrontational, aggressive, accusatorial demands such as:

1)" Is the new cell phone ready?"
2) "I want the cell phone!"
3)" Explain how to use the new cell phone!" (I did this already twice and explained I would need my laptop to explain it again, but she said no laptop - I do not know why she said no laptop)
2) "I saw the cat on the counter and I'm getting rid of the cat!"
3) "The dog was barking last night because of the thunder and it bothered me!"
4) "When are we going to the counselor?" (I said ASAP)
5) "How dare you not want to listen to my concerns last night!" (I told her I was not able to deal with her concerns at this time and asked her to defer them to tomorrow)
6) "I am going to tell the counselor that you did not want listen to me about my concerns!" (this had something to do with some coworker and Halloween and as discussed I politely advised her I was not able to help her until tomorrow, of which the following day she made out to somehow be my fault and my problem)
7) etc

Understand that it's the way she says these things not just the specific text
itself and I have simplified and condensed the above text however they were loud, ongoing, repetitive and broadcast throughout the house.

I would expect such behavior from a spoiled child or from a somewhat mentally off-kilter type but not from (one would hope) a mature, intelligent, thoughtful, considerate spouse!

She tends to pollute my clean and happy emotional environment with opinionated, confrontational, aggressive, accusatorial, demanding, rude stinky smells!

Watch some W.C. Fields movies Chum. That will cheer you up and suggest methods of coping.

W. C. Fields

That's one of those expressions which are internally incoherent. Young men reading here might think it a possibilty and thus you are complicit in leading them in their innocence into a situation in which you are describing so cleverly.

I am still interested in that epochal moment when you first realised that the magnetic attraction, or gravitational pull, was strong enough to lead you into marriage with the lady. The "across a crowded room" moment. How you stepped into the trap. Cats will amputate their leg with their teeth to get out of a trap.

And I would welcome any amount of poetic licence.

Anybody else fancy it?

The man is held in high regard in my circles. One guy uses the famous pic of him as his avvie.

Was he getting on in life when he said that?

The ties that blind

Are you rejecting my request Chum?

Well I provided an amount of poetic license in concert with a sexual innuendo focused on S&M (of which I don't partake but found humorous none the less at least in the context of suffering verbal abuse).

personally I lean more in the direction of H L Mencken.

You should see somebody about that dys.

ACK!

I'd never even Think of saying these things to my husband! OK, I now agree on your statements of her domineering, rude, confrontational, aggressive... Etc comments!

I would have choked her by now.

This thread makes a decent short-term record (warts and all) of the ongoings.

The question: is there a way to have her act with civility and courtesy on an on-gong basis or should I just throw in the towel?

The general environment she creates is one of discomfort and unpredictability combined with both verbal and physical abuse (yes physical - I've even called the Police twice because she would not stop yelling and banging on the bedroom door) all of which tests my patience and tolerance to the max.

When she went to counseling with more regularity, it seemed she was better but perhaps that was just my expectation. In any case she has not gone for some months now and now claims I must go with her each and every time because I am the cause of her acting-out thus she is not responsible for what she says or does.

What a load of crap! A mature functioning adult is responsible for their own words and actions!