Circular saw!
MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOWWWWWWW.
Microwave?
Wooofffff........ no wait, thats small dogs. sorry
What? The cat's not dead yet? What seems to be the hold up?
edgarblythe wrote:What? The cat's not dead yet? What seems to be the hold up?
It could be this one Edgar.
Rub your cat with some fresh warm beef blood.
Tie a large stone to its belly so that it can not run
Drop it into a yard with a dog and watch them play together!
boomerang wrote:The more relevant question is, of course, how is the cat going to kill you and, will it consider what is "humane".
Cats are willful and disobedient.
They feed the dog milkbones and make you think you have an intruder, or a ghost, or that you're having a fever dream.
A pitchfork is no match for a cat.
The MOST relevant question is how we shall slowly torment Gus to death if he does anything nasty to his cat.
Deb, always spot on. Watch out, Gus...
The cat is fine and is curled up at my feet as we speak.
So little faith.
If your cat ever were to suffer from a disease the vets are yet to find a word for; you may want to try confusing it.
Monty python gives you some easy to follow guidelines right here:
Confuse-A-Cat
trash compactor...
freezer. If you can get it in a pulled out lengthwise frozen condition you'll have a handy toilet brush.
Is Schroedinger still alive? He could give an excellent display of how to keep your cat alive and dead at the same time. Good way to avoid that awful guilt one gets upon simply killing a cat.
Glad to hear kitty is seemingly better...
Last night Lou jumped in this big box that came with a delivery. Like all cats he loves boxes. I immediately shut the box on him because he was being a pain and scratching up the house. This box was heavy enough that he couldn't easily push the top up with his paws. For five minutes he kept us pretty entertained as you could hear his claws tearing through the cardboard in a desperate attempt to excape the evil box that entrapped him.
Then he realized he could just stand up. He emerged, gave the box an evil cat look, then, as all cats do, pretended nothing had happened.
Wall it up in the cellar with recently murdered wife.
Well, that seems most practical.
Coolwhip wrote:
If your cat ever were to suffer from a disease the vets are yet to find a word for; you may want to try confusing it.
Monty python gives you some easy to follow guidelines right here:
Confuse-A-Cat
A rather belated "thank you", Coolwhip. Dlowan referred to his years ago on Abuzz. It's been a long running joke ever since, but I never had a chance to see it till now.
I loved this story you are so funney...a wonderful story teller ,,you should wright more...
