in love with a married man

I think that if you think that you and this guy are "exclusive" you are out of your mind.

I said that I think if we were, but obviously we are not.

Messy didn't say she thought that.

Messy, we have many threads on this subject here at a2k, where the matter has been discussed from a lot of points of view. Not that your own thread isn't fine, but that you may want to look at those too. I'll try to get back with some links you can click to see the threads. (Or anyone else add links..)

boom...she said if the WERE exclusive things would change...and she likes the way things are.

Personally, I don't think of it one way or the other.

If you like the way things are, what's this all about?

I'm very confused. I feel like I'm in love with him but I know that we can never truely be together.

I'm sorry, I mis-read.

It seems that you entered into this relationship with the understanding that you two would be f***-buddies. Does he know that the rules might be changing?

I don't think dating a married man is ever a good idea but it seems like heartbreak for someone is going to happen and it will probably be you.

I say get while the getting is good.

Do you think its possible to just be lovers? In the sense of the word love?

I think it's possible to be lovers in the sense of the word sex but not in the sense of the word love.

If he didn't love his wife more than he loves you he would be with you, not her.

You sound like a smart woman who got in over her head. There are a lot of great men out there. You really deserve one of them. This guy has already proven himself to be a cheater. Do you want a cheater? Even if he did leave his wife for you, would you ever trust him?

The thing is that he loves and respects his wife but she has a hard time with the sex part of the relationship. he wants to keep his family together.
But I feel like a beautiful,sexy woman when I'm with him. We love the way we make each other feel. He's the only man who has shown any interest in me since my breakup 5 years ago.
Because of the way he makes me feel, I think I've fallen in love with the part of him that I do get.

But can you be happy with part of a man for the next 30 years?

I don't know how old you are or how old he is so maybe it could be longer. Could you be happy with that?

Calm down, boomer. Take a breath.

The fact that it's been five years since a breakup (a bad one?) sounds like this could be more about the sex than the person. As in, sex is very nice! Especially if it's been that long. And you're going to feel better if it's happening than if it doesn't.

But that doesn't mean that this is the optimal situation for you to be in.

Perhaps it can be a bit of wind in your sails, then go on to someone who can be sex but more than that too.

Did you know you were married when you started this with him?

(He... did you know HE was married, sorry.)

Soz. you are really screwing things up here!


LEARN THE FRIGGIN FACTS!!

I am so sick of coming to sozobe's rescue... time after time!

I have things to do! I have animals to care for!


This romance **** is for the birds, yet... here I am... pulling soz's ass from the fire yet again.


Time is fleeting.

I ask these questions for a specific reason that that reason is this:

I don't think a mistress is always a bad idea. Sometimes it is a good idea. But a mistress that falls in love is always a bad idea.

As a young woman my grandmother suffered from a malevolent form of vaginal cancer. There weren't a lot of treatments available other than slice and dice so yes, they removed her vagina. This left her unable to enjoy any type of traditional sex life.

My grandfather had a mistress. This would have been a perfectly acceptable solution for everyone if the woman could have been discreet. Instead she fell in love with my grandfather and tormented my grandmother for 35 years with her odious behavior.

My grandfather kept his mistress but he remained married to my grandmother until the day she died.

So I just wonder if mistress' are prepared for that.

I have no plans for her to ever find out. I just really enjoy the times that we do spend together.

Good for you.

Enjoy your second-bananahood! I know that there is a need for it.

More power to you!

I didn't post here to make anyone angry. I just need to work things out in my head. I'm really confused about these feelings that I have.