Revenge is a dish best served cold.

no.

Lillian I think you shud hang around and meet Omsigdavid, He's a caring and intelligent member here on A2K with a remarkably similiar posting style.

I feel his wife should know what kind of scum she's married to. You don't agree?

I dont think Omsig is married... oh you mean your ex Bastard. Nope it will just cause more hassel in YOUR life.

Just move on and look forward to whatever make you happy.

No, you didn't deserve it, but will revenge really make you feel better? Will it change what happened? Will it improve the situation for you--or anyone else? If you do reveal what you know, sn't it possible that the cheated-upon wife (and maybe their children, if there are any) will suffer more than the bastard who did you in? How would that make you feel?

Then too, there's always a possibility the bastard might retaliate.

As Gandhi said, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

In your place, I'd just let it go. I wouldn't want to give that cheating louse any more power over my life, in any way.

Revenge is crap.


Like drinking toxic sewage.


I am sorry you have been hurt, but there is no need, in my view, to hurt anyone else.


The best revenge is living well and with grace and compassion.

Re: Revenge is a dish best served cold.


There is another phrase that applies just as well; Suck it up and move on.

Liliann- what are you attempting to prove? That you can be as big an a**hole as the guy who suckered you? IMO, you should lick your wounds and move on.

He's a jerk. Don't stoop to becoming as big a jerk as he is. Hold your head high and rise above the situation.

my thought would be that the wife already "knows" ...

as in, if he is that big of a cheater, it is highly probable that they have had a few fights about it. She may have stumbled onto other evidence before, or just had a sneaky suspicion..

He may have already worked his way out of a break up with her by kissing her rear end in true slime bag style.


So, if .. ( just for sake of arguement) this has happened before between them, how do you know that your information will truly make a diffrence to her now?

When it comes down to it, the only person you are hurting is her.
And I dont think that is fair. She isnt telling him to cheat. Ya know?


he obviously doesnt care enough about her to stay at home where he belongs, and you said yourself he has another girlfriend.
So, he is going to go running to her and continue his ways... leaving his wife with her life all ripped apart because of you showing her what he is doing.

Sorry, I dont think HE will be getting the bad end of the stick here..

She may very well know already. She is a stranger to you. Why do you care what she knows? IMO, you hurt, and are seeking to lash out. She has enough trouble having to be married to that bounder. Why would you want to hurt her by rubbing her nose in it?

Her punishment is being still married to him. Why punish her more?

Yep. Chances are his wife already knows and you'll be dismissed as "just another one of his whores".

How did you maintain a relationship with a man for an entire year and not know that he was married?

Joining the choir in saying that informing the wife only serves to cause more pain.

Another one saying no. You would simply be hurting another one of his victims.

Agree with the others. Haven't you had enough drama? You don't want to involve yourself any more in this situation. Extricate yourself. Completely.

Yep.

You're not really concerned about what his wife deserves to know. You are hurt, and you want to hurt him back. That's what this is all about. Revenge.

As the old saying goes, (and it's TRUE!)..."Living well is the best revenge."

Meanwhile, go buy a dartboard and staple his photo to it. You need an outlet for your anger. I know I would.

I'm going to voice a minority opinion here.

Conventional Wisdom says that a wife should be protected from the knowledge that her husband is cheating. After all, divorce would be her only option and divorce would be difficult for her both financially and socially. Furthermore divorce would damage their children.

The Hypothetical Wife who needs protection from the truth doesn't exist any more.

If I were this Hypothetical Wife, I wouldn't want to be protected from the truth. I'd want to know the truth.

A young friend of a friend had a husband who had been flagrantly unfaithful for years. Money that his wife thought was being deposited for their children's college fund was being spent wining and dining a succession of girlfriends. When she questioned his long "working" hours or asked for financial information she was treated as a jealous, snooping bitch who was out to destroy the marriage.

Finally a vindictive, cast-off girlfriend contacted the wife and Told All. Having information about her husband's infidelities meant that the wife could trust her own suspicious and that she could remove her children--both boys--from the household of a chronic two-timing man. (They both see their father, but they are both aware that marital infidelity has a price).

The wife was also able to talk honestly to her OB/GYN about a "funny itch" and be treated for the STD.

I appreciate Liliann's feelings of rage and betrayal, but I see informing the wife as an act of sisterhood rather than of revenge.

By the by, Liliann, welcome to A2K.

She's saying herself that it's revenge she's after. She's not doing it out of sisterhood and solidarity with the wronged wife. She's doing it to get back at her ex-boyfriend.
What your suggesting Noddy reminds me of something my husband often says.
"The road to hell is lined with good intentions."

That's a good point, Noddy, and it got me thinking about my best friend who was cheated on by her man, then ended up with an STD, which she had to be treated for.
I'm torn because I know if a man was cheating on me, I'd want to know.