how can i get my girlfriend an orgasm

caren, open all the bedroom windows and then throw a big hairy spider at her while she lays in bed.

She may not experience an orgasm, but at least the whole street will think she's had one.

I love the title of this thread 'How can I get my girlfriend an orgasm?'
It's like he wants to go out and buy one or something.

Check Amazon


great deals there..

free shipping too.

Super Savers unite




overstock dot com is great too!

Discounts on multiples as well.

Whaddaya know?

http://www.amazon.com/Orgasms-Have-Them-Give-Coming/dp/076790754X/

I'm tellin' ya...amazon has friggin Everything

Seriously!

LOL. The innocence of youth!

Anywho, all condecension aside young Caren, allow me to set the record straight:

God made us so that only men have orgasms. This is God's way of rewarding us for being smarter.

Now, once your helpmate becomes interested in conception (post marriage of course ), you must both go to a pumpkin patch during a full moon. At precisely midnight, you must rub her belly while kissing her.

You also have to do something with the eye of a newt, but what that is escapes me at the moment.

Nine months later, a stork will deposit your child at your doorstep.

Unless the two of you decide on an abortion ( ), which will require you to assassinate the stork midflight, before it can drop the child.

mmmmmmmmmm veal

Yeah, to be on the safe side just stick to anal.

Anal is still counted as sex, albeit by the backdoor.

No, THAT was the Orb. The Orb made them high.
The Orgasmatron was the thing they both got into and the door slid shut.
He hid inside it when the police were looking for him.

(that movie is one of my guilty pleasures)

I have it on good authority that anal is not counted as sex, but rather good clean recreational activity.

Isn't their slogan "It's all about the O?"

you can certainly trust gus.

I've heard that in some parts of the country, that's called "getting a ratzenhofer."

I agree.

Even Disney land has log rides!

I can see a day / when great things come into play / and Gus will feature a quote of mine / in his signature line

Always wanted to be a poet..