I fell asleep! She's PISSED!!!!

I agree with sozobe on this - counseling would be best - it seemed at first you were insulting her work whereas that wasn't your intention - could she see it that way though? Even if what you are trying to do is to help her, she sees it as insulting or not having confidence in her abilities.

One thing I liked was when you said "she is too good for this." You may have said this to her, but how did she take it? Even the best said words and intentions could come out sounding to her the opposite - I am not saying you are wrong, but she is stressed and what she is hearing may not be what you are intending.

Also as some one before to me was saying don't be defensive - along those lines sometimes women just want to piss and moan without any suggestions - they want to complain and get it off their chest - all they want is for you to be sympathic - she probably knows already what she needs to do and doesn't want to hear that from you - she wants you to comfort her and agree it sucks and is unfair.

Excellent point, Linkat. In her book "You Just Don't Understand," Deborah Tannen talks about how men and women's communication styles tend to differ. Men tend to engage in report talk -- they convey information. Women tend to engage in rapport talk -- they are using talking to connect with the person they are talking to.

Wow, this seems to be the pertinent section from the book... (Looked it up on Google expecting to find a reference I could point to with more info, didn't expect to find the contents of the book itself, cool.)

Funny - I went to a leadership conference where I heard one of her lectures. She even showed how these communications differences occur even in young children. There was a brief clip where two little girls are talking - one will say I like this and the other squeals me too and then this is the same. Girls like to be the same. Then flash to two little boys - I can jump as high as this slide, other boy - I can jump as high as a building - well I can jump to infinity - yep the boys even at this age try to out do each other.

Just a cute side note ( and rapport building).

<squeals>

You like Deborah Tannen too? Yay! BFF!


:-D

If you've really been married that many years and she can't tell, or doesn't care that you're sick, then she's the one being insensitive.

Maybe she's just looking for an excuse to leave? Because this just sounds too far fetched.

poor dumass
Now you are armed with more information than you ever knew existed.

I still think you should be silent and take my advice in the future.

The only way to attain true happiness is to always say "yes dear", and go on about your business. Unless of course, she asks if her butt looks fat, in which case you should say, "no dear".

I am absolutely not man or woman bashing. I just know you guys really aren't thinking anything when we ask. I also know we fill in the blanks anyway, no matter what your response is.

Good luck. I think you're screwed every which way but nicely.

Women like flowers. For some stupid reason.

Diamonds always say more than you will ever be able to think up. Well, they speak to most of us.

Re: poor dumass
[quote="missconduct"]The only way to attain true happiness is to always say "yes dear", and go on about your business. Unless of course, she asks if her butt looks fat, in which case you should say, "no dear".
.
.
Women like flowers. For some stupid reason.

Diamonds always say more than you will ever be able to think up. Well, they speak to most of us.[/quote]

Don't make the mistake and put your wife in the 'Woman-like-flowers-drawer' too easily...

If my better half ever thought he could resolve an argument with flowers (or diamonds, yuck), I think he knew where they would end up!
Bashed around his ears!

Re: poor dumass


Don't make the mistake and put your wife in the 'Woman-like-flowers-drawer' too easily...

If my better half ever thought he could resolve an argument with flowers (or diamonds, yuck), I think he knew where they would end up!
Bashed around his ears![/color][/quote]

Put it to you this way - I once received flowers from some boyfriend that I had dated a couple of years - toward the end when I ended it because he had been an a$$hole for months he sent me roses - 1 red rose for each month we had been dating and one white for the future months. Sounds sweet and romantic - didn't work. I kept the flowers because they were beautiful, but he was still an a$$.

Yes, but did he say "yes dear"?

Oh he was putty in my hands - he more than said "yes dear", but I am a harda$$ and once you screw me then that's it! No yes dears or flowers or diamonds work (granted you give me fine gems, I'll keep them, then kick your sorry butt out the door).