Thanks for responding.
Hate to put my wounds out there without some salve.
Oh... no... I have a few friends who are gay/lesbian, and they are incredibly sweet, with a lot of integrity.
I personally don't understand bisexual people, but that's my own thing there. So I can honestly say that the only bisexual people I have known(2 of them) have tried to wreck my marriage--so naturally I wonder about them. But I don't avoid gay people any more than I avoid any other people, ha ha. One of those bisexuals could have been lying, though, and not really been bisexual. Just dunno. Once someone lies to me, I don't trust anything else they say.
dupre, all these crazy people want is to justify their own insecurites by trying to screw with others. This is a natural human instinct that can be used for good or evil, depending on your mental stability. Those who use it for evil must be counteracted by intelligent people who can turn the whole thing around on them. Building trust and alliances with those who are close to you is a major step for anyone who has gone through this kind of thing.
That's very true, cavfancier. You also have to pay attention to what people tell you when you are getting to know them... so as to possible prevent such situations.
These days I am cautiously hypersensitive chemist
Cautiously hypersensitive? lol, that's a good way to put it.
What do you look for as warning signs?
Certain things always tweak my brain, such as a casual acquaintance seemingly putting way too much attention into a friendship, obsessively trying to get your attention in one way or another, or reading your interactions with far more seriousness than yourself. That could indicate a stalker mentality.
Not as bad as the stalker but equally annoying is the "I just need a shoulder to cry on" friend. That's the one who is always in a crisis of some sort, and you are the only one, the ONLY one who can help them in their frequent times of need, any time of day or night. This person may never boil a bunny in your house, but they are incredibly draining emotionally.
Related to the stalker is the friend who secretly wants to be more than friends, but may not say anything. There are varying degrees of itensity here, sometimes harmless, sometimes quite vicious, such as what happened to you. These people can be hard to spot sometimes, but one sign is definitely overstaying their welcome in social situations, and trying to get over-involved with the personal details of your life.
Wow cavfancier... that girl I mentioned did ALL of the things mentioned. Hell, the first time we met... she, my husband, and I hung out and had some beer... and of course she stayed the night on the couch!
She only called when she had a crisis... never wanted to talk about things that bothered me... in fact, I hardly ever even got a word in.
She also read too much into my words and actions.
Its funny, you would have noticed more warning signs than I did... thank you for opening my eyes!
Quote:That's the one who is always in a crisis of some sort, and you are the only one, the ONLY one who can help them in their frequent times of need, any time of day or night.
I had a friend like that once, a long time ago. He'd been around since my high school days. Funny thing about him,considering we were best friends, is that he did not come to my wedding.
This is a terrific list. You could write a book. I don't believe I've seen one like this before. People should be warned.
UPDATED LIST:
People who share gossip with me.
--who tell stories of violent revenge they sought with people.
--who mention SERIOUS mental illness (like the sociopathic, etc.)
--who mention ex-friends who moved away or changed their phone number, without notifying them.
--who try and convince me to keep secrets from my husband or family.
--women who have sexual inferiority complexes... who are sexually competitive.
a casual acquaintance seemingly putting way too much attention into a friendship, obsessively trying to get your attention in one way or another, or reading your interactions with far more seriousness than yourself.
one who is always in a crisis of some sort, and you are the only one, the ONLY one who can help them in their frequent times of need, any time of day or night
overstaying their welcome in social situations, and trying to get over-involved with the personal details of your life
***Anyone have anything else to add?
Heh heh, if that fat-ass Doctor Phil can write a diet book, I suppose I could write one about recognizing psychos
Another warning sign: "Since the Prozac/Zoloft/whatever, I've been much happier."
Any lie should send up a huge red flag!
Cavfancier: Hahahahaha!
I once had a boyfriend who told me on our first date that his girlfriends usually ended up having a screaming-meamy attack.
I had never had one, so I thought maybe he was picking the wrong kind of woman.
Within six months I had my first and only screaming-meamy attack.
I shoulda listened. . . .
The overly gracious aquaintence.
Any one who lets me walk over them.
Any one who thinks all my ideas are good ideas.
Some one who needs to talk on the phone with me every day.
Being on medication is not that big of a problem (unless its one for trauma or skitzophrenia), its when they say they are taking themselves OFF the meds.
That's where my horror began, lol.
You know, some of these 'warning signs' on the list aren't that bad, by themself.
Any announcement of being on meds is a sure sign that being off meds is in the future...
Well, it is definately something to keep an eye on.
No one ever said we had to be friends with everyone who crosses our path, eh? I mean life it too short to waste any time on potential psychos, in my opinion.
And yes, this could definately be turned into a book. Its funny we've been discussing this... The Cable Guy was on yesterday... I was sorry I identified with the normal guy
I loved The Cable Guy....an underrated performance for Jim Carrey, I thought, when the bad reviews came out. I sure liked it better than The Majestic, his sincere but misguided attempt to be Jimmy Stewart.
When I first saw Cable Guy, in the theatre, poeple weren't as impressed with him as they are now, AND I hadn't had much of a run in with abnormal people at that time... but I still liked it.
Now I watch it and think... man, why did I ever fall for any of the psycho drama from people...? If you pay attention, its completely obvious! lol
I know I mentioned it before, but the French film "With a Friend Like Harry" is very good. I am sure it is on video and/or DVD.
