Anyone ever lied about you or your spouse, just to be mean?

Yep - these past few days have been terrible.

I'm starting to think that there are a lot of these horrible people in the world. I hate to become that way... but I'm developing a list of warning signs to help me avoid these trashy people.

Had a sociopath that worked for me. The lengths he went to to destroy my carreer would fill several pages. For him, truth was only a consideration if it was in his best interest. Beside me, he harmed the career of several of his co-workers.

He was eventulally fired and died later. He had thrown his own family so far in debt that they could not afford to bury him.

The positive outcome was that I learned how the desire for revenge can harm a person. It wore me out. Since that experience I have not allowed myself to hate anyone for anything and I refuse to seek revenge for anything. To do so will, indeed, consume you. There is a price to pay for those emotions.

That is very true. Revenge is not at all worth it. I have realised that there are certain types of people that I need to stay away from... here's my little mental checklist, haha...

People who share gossip with me.
--who tell stories of violent revenge they sought with people.
--who mention SERIOUS mental illness (like the sociopathic, etc.)
--who mention ex-friends who moved away or changed their phone number, without notifying them.
--who try and convince me to keep secrets from my husband or family.
--women who have sexual inferiority complexes... who are sexually competitive.


That may sound silly, but I have been so confused these last 5 yrs and had to find a way to avoid these trouble makers.

chemist, friends like that keep you away from the TV and are infinitely more entertaining! Mind you, I have a thick skin and a sick sense of humour. Anyway, this is why Mrs. cav and I don't talk to her mom's family, just her mom.

Had people lying about me at work.

I bought the boss a birthday bouquet, and heard another person taking partial credit--as if she'd gone in on the cost!

Heard people taking credit for my work.

My boss later told me money missing from the Kitty (employee donations for gift buying) had been attributed to me.

Boss told me she knew about all of these, and wondered why I hadn't pointed any of these out to her. I told her the truth generally comes out--and I don't like defending myself. I'd rather it be found out without my participation.

Of course, my refusal to defend myself in most situations leads to all sorts of stuff being said, and believed. My sister once said, "When you're quiet about these things, people wonder all kinds of bad stuff about you. Please start telling people what they need to know." Nope.

I don't trust people, who gossip to me, either. Which is everyone I've ever met. Hence my self-imposed social isolation. I can't claim perfection in my gossiping. My rule is that whatever I say to someone else, I would admit to the person I was talking about, if confronted. This puts a serious dent in my gossip. :wink:

I have found friendships many times bring negative complications to my life. I don't judge any benefits of friendship to be worth the complications. Most of the conversation revolves around belittling or humilating other people... I imagine when they are elsewhere, I am the object of their disgusting conversation.

This is one reason I love this site. We are freer to be truthful, but not subject to any substantial possibility of personal gossip. And, if gossip does take place, it has no real impact, IMO.

Sofia, we agree again. This has happened to me more than once, in fact 3 times. I'd rather spend my time alone at this point.

Funny, the last person who did this was a real piece of work. I found some wierd personal website of hers... it had a list of nicknames she had given herself, and one of them was "Liar".

And if I'm telling you anything, believe me, it isn't gossip... I have most likely told the other person already... that is, IF I'm even talking about someone.

A friend of mine was invited over by a female neighbor for dinner while his family was away. No dinner was offered, but sex was. He turned her down, and ran home.

That night the police raided his house on a call about a drug party... the woman made the call to the police. I have a feeling this guy is in for even more trash from this woman.

This is the kind of thing I'm talkig about.

Omigod, chemist. I feel for your friend.

Great thread. I'd very much like to hear more stories along this line. It's a comfort to know that other people suffer in this way. I, too, have avoided friendships. I have two dear friends. I guess I just keep hoping that at a certain age any possible friends will have grown up. Not true.

Please post more stories.

I'll put mine in a nutshell

A girl my husband wanted me to meet... turned out to be a FREAK! She was a habitual liar, had mental problems that were going untreated... even tried to convince us she was a stripper!

Constantly telling us about how she sought revenge on those who had done her wrong, and stories about well, just things that were very hard to believe.

So she and I got in an argument, and she started stalking and harassing me on the net... then accused me of doing the stalking. She basically accused me of all the things she ever did. Very odd.

She ended up trying to convince me that my husband cheated, that he said all kinds of things (some of which I told her, not him... she couldn't eve keep that straight), insulting me in every way she could think of.... just irritating. Then I find a website of hers where she even nicknamed herself "Liar" and basically was trying to attract all kinds of sexual attention to herself...

Look out for those kinds of people!

What a nightmare you have gone through. I'm so sorry this person victimized you in this way.

The things I have gone through aren't nearly so severe, and they took me a long time to get over. In fact, I'm not sure I am over them, because I am different now, much more careful.

How are you dealing with this? I can speak with some assurance that time, if nothing else, will make it better for you. But, what are you feeling now?

What am I feeling? Victory, honestly. I mean, every single assumption I had about this girl was 100% right on the money... and I will never again doubt my instincts... and there is another great thing about this...

My husband trusts me when I tell him I have a bad feeling about people now.

He and I were apart for a year and a half... we had a lot to work out, and we DID work it out... she was assuming she could waltz into our lives, screw things up, and waltz out... but I'll tell you, If you are truely a good person, no one can really harm you--you will make the best out of anything. If anything, my husband and I are much closer, and much wiser.

And the only lingering feeling is disgust, and I'm wondering if her obsession with me and my husband is over... and she isn't hiring a hitman or something, lol... jk.

You can't feel bad about gaining wisdom. There are bad people in this world, people who make it their past-time to play mind-games and ruin people's lives over jealousy... you just have to watch out.

There is a French movie called "With a Friend like Harry" that scared the crap out of me in it's subtle approach to a stalker problem. Way better than any American film I have seen on the subject.

Back in high school, my very first serious girlfriend turned out to be a stalker type. After I dumped her, she tried to start a relationship with my brother, 4 years my junior. Calling him at all hours, because I wouldn't speak with her....sad stuff indeed.

My neighbour in the building I live in now with Mrs. cav is young and cute, and when we first met, I thought maybe one of our single friends might be interested....then I found out, she is only charming and stable when she remembers to take her meds. One night she got in a fit, and someone called the cops. She spit on the cop, yelling, screaming, think he felt sorry for her, because they didn't haul her away.

Here's another story...

A friend of mine worked at Shoney's... and she was seeing one of the cooks there. A lesbian/(insert word fr mean woman here) told the manager that they had sex on the cooks' line... which was absolutely impossible. They both got fired.

That story interests me, because the girl I talked about before who stalked me was bisexual. I have similar stories about lesbians and bisexual people... I'm not saying they are all like that, but I'm starting to wonder.

I feel some sympathy for any homosexual, lesbian, or bisexual person struggling to figure out how to get along in our culture. Theirs is not an easy path.

My current neighborly frustration stems from a political and land development controversy. About 15 neighbors here have turned against my sweetheart. There are about 4,985 for him and only 15 against, but that does not diminish the sting. Thank goodness he has a thick skin and is not new to being smack dab in the middle of controversy.

What gets me is that these people LIE! They misrepresent the facts and are able to recruit new voices from people who feel disenfranchised and desperately want to belong and are lazy enough to let other people do their research for them.

I can't go into details online, since it's not about me, but about my sweetheart and his business.

LIARS! Jealous malcontents. Busybodies. Nobodies!

I feel better now.

Thanks.

Heh heh...psycho is as psycho does, and as a professional chef, I can say that sexual orientation has nothing to do with disturbed personalities (I would have fired them too, incidentally). Psycho runs the gamut, but don't let it cloud your opinion of sane people who opt for an 'alternative' lifestyle.

Just in case that wasn't clear, kitchen stories abound regarding sex in general, both in the kitchen proper, and in the restaurants themselves...sometimes in the back alley. Psycho/stupid is as it is...gay or straight.

cafancier, we posted over each other. Did you see my post?

dupre, just catching up...yes, that is an awful situation, and people really do suck sometimes. I suppose the best approach is to be smarter than them