BARBEQUE SEASON IS NIGH_needalittle help

@spendius,

Quote:

And what will we be doing when we have reached the limits of the female imagination when all the blokes have caved in to what you women think we are supposed to do. The more they cave in to your whims the less respect you have for them.

Men cooks--- a load of crap. They'll be wanting to have babies next.

You've got it all wrong, Spendy. Getting the men to cook is not some plot thought up by "feministas"! Smile

It's a firmly established Oz tradition. (I thought this happened everywhere else, too!) Just try prying the tongs from the bloke turning the sausages at the barby & you'll have a fight on your hands! It's their big moment of glory. They love it! You should try it yourself.

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@msolga,

30 years locked up in a monestary will do that to a bloke olga. Spendi has been in resigned contemplation of what life is like in the "Outside World", his opinions of the way things "should be" is based upon experience and technology most recently from the 1940's. Sad really.
Im lately never surprised at his naivete. Hes like the Birdman of Alcatraz whose only cultural references were from a time 40 to 50 years ago.While its charming, it has no application in todays worth

The cleanup from our barbecue was commandeered by the women , mostly becuase they know that dudes dont know how to properly load a dishwasher.

All the guys were involved in the barbecue process, many had vast knowledge and others , merely half vast knowledge.

1 Reply

@farmerman,

Quote:

The cleanup from our barbecue was commandeered by the women , mostly becuase they know that dudes dont know how to properly load a dishwasher.

All the guys were involved in the barbecue process, many had vast knowledge and others , merely half vast knowledge.

Yeah, that's the way it generally goes, farmer. The boys do the the important stuff around the fire (in striped aprons, with beers in hands) & the girls do the washing up & clearing up! Must the same same deal, the world over. Smile

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@msolga,

Quote:

You've got it all wrong, Spendy. Getting the men to cook is not some plot thought up by "feministas"!

Well Olga-- I suppose I would say that if I was bent on a takeover of the world by the hand that rocks the cradle and didn't think there was anybody left on the other side who either had the wit or the guts to see me coming.

I would imagine that the reason it is difficult to pry "the tongs from the bloke turning the sausages at the barby" is that such activities keep his mind off his being emasculated: a subject which is bound to leap into his consciousness as soon as his mind becomes disconnected from trivialities and fatuity.

There is no chance of me trying it. I don't want all the women laughing at me and patronising me in the manner you have just done to your heroes.

Cooking is a magical process. A table with plates of grub just appear out of nowhere and I eat it all up. A bit like the feeding of the 5,000. A miracle. Magic is a feminine activity. All the ancient oracles were feminine and the mysteries were presided over by priestesses.

Men are for the dangerous jobs and are obviously expendable. It isn't my fault that dangerous jobs are few and far between.

I once tried prying the shopping trolley from a lady's grip after I read that supermarkets were a good place to meet randy, bored housewives. No chance.

Anyway--I hate moments of glory. They have a finality I don't care for.

And Bob Dylan said to only eat food prepared by someone who loves you and men hate me.

It's only nutrient after all. Socrates ate dried bread and Henry Miller said he could eat earwax. Get into that kitchen and rattle them pots and pans.

1 Reply

@msolga,

Quote:

Yeah, that's the way it generally goes, farmer. The boys do the the important stuff around the fire (in striped aprons, with beers in hands) & the girls do the washing up & clearing up! Must the same same deal, the world over.

Well you see right there Olga how you are reduced to skivvy status.

Notice the use of "dudes" and the beer image. Mere assertions of masculinity when it is on the fade.

Striped aprons are a bit like frocks.

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@spendius,

I don't really know quite what to say, Spendy. It all just seems to be too tough & complicated for you. Even the simplest thing, like turning a sausage on a barby.
There, there.

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@msolga,

Quote:

Stepan Arkadyevitch took in and read a liberal newspaper, not an extreme one, but one advocating the views held by the majority. And in spite of the fact that science, art, and politics had no special interest for him, he firmly held those views on all subjects which were held by the majority and by his paper, and he only changed them when the majority changed them-- or, more strictly speaking, he did not change them, but they imperceptibly changed of themselves within him.

Stepan Arkadyevitch had not chosen his political opinions or his views; those political opinions and views had come to him of themselves, just as he did not choose the shapes of his hats and coats, but simply took those that were being worn. And for him, living in a certain society--owing to the need, ordinarily developed at years of discretion, for some degree of mental activity-- to have views was just as indispensible as to have a hat. If there was a reason for his preferring liberal to conservative views, which were held also by many of his circle, it arose not from his considering liberalism more rational, but from its being in closer accord with his manner of life.... And so liberalism had become a habit of Stepan Arkadyevitch's, and he liked his newspaper, as he did his cigar after dinner, for the slight fog it diffused in his brain.

Tolstoy. Anna Karenina.

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@msolga,

Hes all yours, dont thank me. Youve got your own personal stalker now. Laughing

Usually , hes a little gooned by this time of day. As they say "its five oclock somewhere" Drunk

PSSST Spendi, why not just go annd play in the rsuh hour traffic. Msolga is probably dreaming cause its after 1AM in her part of the world. No sense scaring everybody when its always me your after.

(But You Cant HAve me you cheeky devil)

1 Reply

@farmerman,

We know that ducks can't shoot back in duck hunting season but Christians can. If you go Christian hunting as you do I am after you. Too right.

What do you think the "ms" means in "msolga"? That bloody Germaine Greer came from Olga's patch and now you are turning sausages over on a stove to see if they are done. And Olga's insulting you goodstyle on top. Prying things out of your tightly clutched fingers imagery.

On the Ovarian Trolley eh?

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HOT OFF THE PRESS - PARKER RANCH BARBQUE SAUCE -

brown sugar
catsup
cummin seed
coriander seed
little S & P
can of frozen quava juice

dress rib that have slow cooked for 4 or so hours and toss on the fire .. meat should fall off the ribs.

1 Reply

@Sglass,

except for the cumin (is cumin less pungent if using the whole seed?). Id need some more hot pepper essence in there also, so Id go with a bit of vinegar and tabasco.

1 Reply

@farmerman,

farmerman wrote:

except for the cumin (is cumin less pungent if using the whole seed?). Id need some more hot pepper essence in there also, so Id go with a bit of vinegar and tabasco.

Toast the cumin - crack the seeds and then cook on a super-low temp until it browns up. Gives it a smoky flavor and takes a little of the edge off.

Cycloptichorn

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@farmerman,

Totally agree with you there, Farmerman! Nothing like BBQ brisket.

1 Reply

@Aldistar,

No wonder I never go to BBQs. The conversation has to be heard to be believed.

Imagine BBQing a brisket being your main claim to fame.

There's nothing like a rusted nut on a corroded pipeline connection as well.

And what about double steak pudding, double chips, double bread and butter, mushy peas and gravy served with a pint mug of extra stewed tea by a sweaty wench with nothing on under her smock after the pub shuts?

BBQed brisket is for poseurs like effemm.

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The skills required to barbecue a brisket decently are several. The "pitmaster " has a requirement to not get too derunk during the firing process. Since the bbq takes 7 + hours, the fire, proper wood smoke, and moisture, must all be maintained within carefully set limits. Elsewise, the "bark" of the brisket will be deep and dry.

The meat must be of a good cut with enough fat to serve as a decent "bark". The rub must be chosen for complexity and applied evenly before the "cuing " actually commences.

Being able to "TAste " the product at its desired doneness , even at the start of the barbecue, is the job of the barbecue master.

A pitmaster and barbecue master may be the same person for small offerings, but for large servings and multiple meats, its a job for a trained committee.

Countries whose entire cuisine basis is to "cook the **** out of everything" by boiling or "mushing", will never understand the subtle artistry that is barbecue.

I pity the Irish and the English for , it is well known, that these two countries have no memorable foods other than "sticky toffee pudding"

Shame really, not to be able to appreciate the artistry that is practiced in cooking low and slow.

Course the Irish, do partially redeem themselves with their "spoon lamb" a product of a slow low temp cooking of a low quality cut of meat (in this case usually the dismembered rear appendage of a road lkilled sheep)

1 Reply

@farmerman,

You are 100% correct. In Texas, a good brisket is the mark of a good bbq joint. And everyone's recipe is a little different, it's nice to taste the wide variety which can be gotten out of the exact same cuts of meat, so much variation between dry rubs and marinades and wet rubs, and oven brisket vs. pit brisket, damn, I'm getting ******* hungry just thinking about it. You can't find much good bbq out here in CA.

I'll never forget Christmas 2005, when my uncle Mike - a retired judge who does competition bbq for a living now - brought over a brisket for dinner on Christmas Eve. It was the best meat I've ever had in my life, and therefore the best food I've ever had.

Cycloptichorn

1 Reply

@Cycloptichorn,

When I eats bbq mwts, I have a preference .

1Pork goes in a bun s a "pulled pork" sammich. SOmetimes with coleslaw, sometimes without.

2Ribs can be pork or beef, but must be done with a tangy barbecue sauce. Eaten with fingers and no rules apply.

3Brisket (to me) is the chunks of meat eaten offn the plate as a main.

Sides vary and always a corn bread or hushpuppy.
Ive been trying to get a repertoire of more side dishes. (No, I wont serve any okra, most people wont touch it and it winds up rotting in our fridge).

My sister in law made some really good fridge pickles, sorta like big versions of the sweet cornichons we always have with pate.

Cyclo, did you ever eat the brisket the way that many places in Houston serve it, NO SAUCE. Only the rub and everybody gets some "bark" with the rub so its a meaty taste with just a hint of bbq spices and smoke.

I just ate and I could still get it up for some ribs right now.

1 Reply

Great leftovers made with pulled pork.

Bell peppers, whatever color you like
leftover pulled pork with smoke flavor
steam thinly ribboned cabbage
steamed rice
hot pepper water
S & P
"your choice of additives" et al

clean and deseed peppers
steam
stuff with mixture of pork, rice and cabbage
add your choice of stuff
bake on rake over 1/2 inch water

Serve with pineapple slices

This is Hawaiian of course.

1 Reply

@Sglass,

I was following right along until we reached this sentence

Quote:

bake on rake over 1/2 inch water

.

Im assuming the name "rake" is a name of some kind of cookere that has a water jacket or something. Is it a steamer?

1 Reply

@farmerman,

farmerman wrote:

When I eats bbq mwts, I have a preference .

1Pork goes in a bun s a "pulled pork" sammich. SOmetimes with coleslaw, sometimes without.

2Ribs can be pork or beef, but must be done with a tangy barbecue sauce. Eaten with fingers and no rules apply.

3Brisket (to me) is the chunks of meat eaten offn the plate as a main.

Sides vary and always a corn bread or hushpuppy.
Ive been trying to get a repertoire of more side dishes. (No, I wont serve any okra, most people wont touch it and it winds up rotting in our fridge).

My sister in law made some really good fridge pickles, sorta like big versions of the sweet cornichons we always have with pate.

Sweet pickles are a classic BBQ side! My pop made 'em all the time. Cornbread works, Texas toast, sometimes we would have sweeter 'Hawaiian' bread rolls. Too bad about the Okra, I'd probably eat it all myself. Potato salad (though I don't eat it) is popular. The best side, however, is ranch-style beans. Flavor just goes so great with the meat.

I have had Brisket that way plenty of times, it's pretty good though I got a hankering for sauce myself. Lots of sausage too; a good Elgin sausage gets me going every time.

In order of preference,

1 - Ribs
2 - Brisket
3- Pulled pork
4- hot sausage
5 - Fish bbq
6 - bbq chicken

Lately I've been making cheese + sausage stuffed, bacon wrapped jalapenos as a side. They get snapped up real quick. I'm allergic to shrimp, but throwing one of those in the middle goes over real well if you're not.

How could anyone not understand the glory of bbq?

Cycloptichorn

1 Reply

BARBEQUE SEASON IS NIGH_needalittle help

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