BARBEQUE SEASON IS NIGH_needalittle help

Spendy, honestly .... you're such a party pooper lately! Why are you so grumpy?

This is one of farmer's old threads, from 2007.

I'm grumpy due to the state of the Test Match.

During a lull in today's play they showed the Aussie WAGS. It was when Strauss was discussing with his bowler whether to move deep backward square to second gully in order to slow things down before the rain arrived.

Apart from one, they all had that snooty wading bird look. The odd one looked a bit like Doreen from Prisoner in Cell Block H. I tried figuring which heroic cricketer she was a WAG of.

Can you help?

Every thread effemm contributes to involves a spiel about what a big deal he is. There are no exceptions.

As men are ridiculous such a policy is ridiculous.

Aha! I thought there must be a reason! Never mind.



Sadly no, Spendy. I don't even follow cricket, say nothing of having any influence. Sorry.



Not true at all, you grump! In any case your argument is wasted on me, as I'm a member of the farmerman fan club! (There's a thread somewhere. You can join up, too! )

It takes all sorts.

But an evolutionist calling wasps vile and finding BO distasteful is completely and utterly ridiculous. He uses Darwin to beat people up. He doesn't live by it. He's a phoney like all the rest of the evolutionists on here.

You'd better take that one up with the evolutionists here, Spendy. I stay out of that. (I'm not silly! )

Hey, I think we're supposed to be talking barbecues ideas here. Been to any good ones lately? Any suggestions?

Yeah- leave it to the ladies.

I just eat it and wipe my fingers on passing frocks.

Oh charming.

Don't you know that men are supposed to do the honours (meaning the cooking) on these occasions, Spendy? It gives "the ladies" a break from the kitchen & they get to show off a bit!

Talking with spendi can be an exercise in discussing thermodynamics with a refrigerator, you onkly get a low pitched hum.

If youre gonna barbecue ms olga, remember the rule, low temp and slow cookery on a WOOD fire.

Tomorrow we re having folks over and Im gonna make pork and brisket, Ive got all the meats covered with a dry rub and they await in the fridge. In the AM, around 5, I will get up and let the meats listen to morning devotions as they gradually come up to room temp. The meat goes on the barbecue smoker at 8 and off at about 4:30 or 5.(The pork ribs, Im gonna par boil them and then do them as a grille over a hot charcoal fire-they will take only a half hour I KNOW I SHOULD BE HORSEWHIPPED BUT I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO RIBS AND THE BUTTS AND BRSIETS AT THE SAME TIME)
Mrs F has made several blueberry and blackberry pies and shes gonna make her German potato salad and (as a traditional savory with cue--cole slaw). Cole slaw is so much a tradition that, (And I dont recommend this at all) People will actually put cole slaw IN THEIR PULLED PORK SAMMICHES.

Homemade potato chips and gallons of sweet ice tea.
I hope we have a nice day for this (even though we could use some rain ).

Were having some neighbors and Mrs F's sisters and two of her remaining uncles. I figure about 14 people and Ill try to make some more in case we get some drop ins from town who might be smelling the cue smoke. (Barbecue smoke has been known to lure folks from several counties down wind)

You've probably had time to get over the last experience, so:










Want to buy some nice mesquite chips?

I thought Gibbos cooked plank on a carp.

CHIP THIS DONKEYBOY!!

Its a wonder how folks up here swear by mesquite . Ive been using only apple wood and oak for several years (ever since a few kindly old Western FArts told me about the non-virtues of mesquite)

When I used mesquite for smoke, I never had any mosquitoes around.

mesquite--mosquito. Hmmmm, any relationship?

That's a LOT of food you & Mrs farmer have prepared! Wow. This event sounds BIG!



That's probably right, farmer, but us city folk generally have to make do with the ol gas barbecue for convenience ... besides, southern Oz in high summer often means total fire ban days ... sometimes (if weather conditions are extreme enough) this can even include gas-fired barbecues, say nothing of lawn mowers, etc ...

Anyway, here's hoping it goes well tomorrow. I sounds like the folk attending won't be able to eat (or move, even!) for a week! Sounds like it's going to be a terrific day, farmer.

I'll take some virtual helpings of each of the meats, a big heap of potato salad, tad of slaw, and blackberry pie...

wash yo hands before supper missy!!

cooking away since about 700 AM. The most difficult thing is keeping the barbecue pit at about 225 to 250. Im thinking of tricking out this unit with a bi-metal bar opener on the firebox caue when you open the lid on the firebox the temp declines in the pit. I guess Id need a thermistor and some kind of temp controlled actuator.

Of course, and I'll help with the dishes.

Oh yeah!! Ask a competent trick-cyclist about obsessions with talking about food. And an evolutionary biologist about "scenting" down wind.

And what will we be doing when we have reached the limits of the female imagination when all the blokes have caved in to what you women think we are supposed to do. The more they cave in to your whims the less respect you have for them.

Men cooks--- a load of crap. They'll be wanting to have babies next.

The reason the men chefs on telly use a lot of bad language is to try to assert their masculinity and that's a cheap and easy way. They should wear frocks and be done with it.

Everything went great. The food was perfect and several people contributed other sides and desserts so we had enough food for a small island nation.

So, now you've got a fridge full of left-overs, farmer?
Glad it went so well. After all the preparations, especially!