Peter2007 wrote:I confronted her last night. I asked her what she needed from me. Her words were, "I don't know." I asked her if she wanted to see a therapist together (she is seeing one right now) and she said yes. She told me that I communicate with double meanings? Here's an example. Last night I told her that one of my biggest fears is that she will leave and look back and realize that she made a mistake. I love and care for her very much and to see her upset like that would kill me. Well that pissed her off and she accused me of "double talking" and trying to guilt her into staying. That was a truly sincere statement and she just went ballistic.
Btw, everyone who has read this thread knows just as much about the situation as I do. Can you all imagine trying to sort things out but only what you have read here? That's the spot I'm in right now.
Okay, I hate to break this to you, but if she doesn't know what she needs how can you? This is about you as much as it is her. I cannot stress that enough. I have been divorced for 2 years from a women that I thought was the world. I tried to save my marriage for 8 months, however, it was just not going to happen due to her having two mental illnesses. However, that is of little consequence to this issue. I dated and talked with several women. I came to the conclusion that society as a whole has raised a generation of women that cannot communicate their feelings. I can't tell you how many times I have heard in the past 2 years the following two comments made by serveral women. "I don't need a man." and "I want a good man.". Almost all of them either made those comments in the same conversation or in separate ones. I began to look at what I needed from a women. I started talking to other guys and started to realize a disturbing trend, the same trend I see in your posts. The guy wanting to do anything and everything to save the marriage, and a women that has no clue what she needs and what her feelings are. I came to the sad conclusion that American women, not all of them, but a huge portion, expect everything and are happy with nothing. It is the unfortunate truth. Think back among the women you have dated, and probably your current wife, how many times have you heard what she expects? The only expectation should be that both parties are treated with respect. Is she respecting you by sayind, "I am unhappy, but I don't know why.". I will tell you why, you have not given her 100% assurance every second of the day that is why. Here is the truth, you shouldn't have to. There should be faith there. I found out through conversations with some women, roughly 60, that they start a relationship thinking it will fail. So, the first time you didn't do what she expected you to, you were on a slippery slope and didn't know it. Why? Because we are supposed to just know how they feel. I honestly believe the feminist movement has done more damage than helped because a lot of the women today feel like they have to compete with men in every aspect of their life. Why? What is wrong with a women being in a womens role and a man doing a mans role, but them being equal? Nothing at all, but because it has been pushed upon them they are literally not happy being women anymore. It is truly a sad state. For us good guys that all we want is to have wife that we can respect, love, and romance, it is a no win situation. I ask you this, "Why doesn't she appreciate your efforts to do whatever necessary?". Simply, because she expects you to just know and you don't, so she is angered and confused by it. Man, I hope I am wrong because I know all to well the heartache you are having and I hope you do what I couldn't and save your marriage. I will tell you this, though, I am currently engaged to a Ukrainian women and could not be happier. She knows her feelings and can express them and above all is still happy being a women. She expects nothing and when I do something for her she genuinely appreciates it I will leave you with this example. When I proposed I gave her a basic gold band because I wasn't sure what she would want. We talked and I told her that if she wanted something different, we would get it for her. She says and I quote, "I want whatever ring you want to buy for me.". She says this because she, and in general Russian women, look at what the ring means, not the "wow" factor of the ring. American men break themselves trying to buy huge diamone rings. Why? Just so our blushing American brides can go show their girlfriends and say look at me. There is no apprecaition and they keep wanting a bigger ring because it is a competiton to show up with the bigger diamond. As I said, "Expect everything and are happy with nothing.". I wish good luck to you and hope everything works out.
