Another point of view:
Last week I wrote about the disgusting trend of people abandoning President Bush just because he extinguished the sun. I hate to keep carping on this, but I can't abide these fairweather friends turning against the president. In addition to the usual grab bag of Hollywood wing nuts, his former political allies have jumped ship, as have his family, friends, pets and, well, everybody. Even old insane people who still think Roosevelt is president have, when roused from their stupors, been heard to mutter anti-Bush slogans.
And this week, guess who jumped on the bandwagon? God. Seriously! Apparently He's mad about the whole extinguishing-the-sun thing. And I understand that. It can't be easy to "make" a sun out of, well, out of nothing, I guess. I'm not a scientist - in fact, I don't even know how to change the oil in my car, especially now, when it's dark out and 3,000 degrees below zero - but sure, I understand: you make a sun, some guy destroys it, yes, it might make you a little angry.
So, this week, in the frigid, hellish, eternal darkness that is Washington DC, God appeared above the Lincoln Memorial and sort of "chewed out" the president. I didn't get all the details, what with the electrical grid inoperative and the constant din of screaming rising up from the ice-coated streets, but apparently God was, you know, "wrathful".
Now, I'm not one to go around criticising God, but I'm afraid I have to make an exception. God, if You're a Guardian reader (which I expect You are), hear me out. Mistakes have been made, yes. We "invaded the wrong country", a lot of "innocent people" died, we more-or-less "kicked the hornet's nest" over there; I'm well-aware that Iraq is on the brink of a "bitter sectarian civil war". But God, I think You underestimate the president. Did it ever occur to You that there is a method to his madness? Have You read the papers this week? How many dead in Baghdad? How many car bombs exploded in public places? How many people were kidnapped, tortured and killed?
Zero, and zero and zero. Why? Because, with the sun extinguished, the Iraqis are huddled for warmth, virtually motionless, in their homes.The war is over. Iraq is at peace.
Is it a perfect solution? No. Will the entire human race cease to exist within, oh, probably the next day or so? OK, yes, You've got me there.
But here's my point: in a time of crisis, we don't need people who stand around in heaven complaining. If You're so unhappy with what's going on, pitch in and do something about it. Make us a new sun.
Next week, Heavenly Father, I shall provide You with specifications for this replacement sun, and details of my new Strategy for Victory.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,,2024054,00.html