I am Jesus.

So you are the Christ -- you're the great Jesus Christ
Prove to me that you're divine -- change my water into wine
That's all you need do and I'll know it's all true
C'mon King of the Jews.

Jesus you ust won't believe the hit you've made round here
You aer all we talk about -- the wonder of the year
Oh what a pity if it's all a lie
Still I'm sure that you can rock the cynics if you try
So you are the Christ -- you're the great Jesus Christ
Prove to me that you're no fool -- walk across my swimming pool
If you do that for me then I'll let you go free
C'mon King of the Jews.

Can I be the Special Guest Referee for that? I promise no fast three counts.

Sure, we'll need one of those lame set-ups though, where one owner comes out and vetos the other owner and says something like 'This match is only going on with my special referee..."

I don't care if it is your last supper, no ID, no wine . . .

the waiter: so I seat these guys, right? all twelve of 'em, and they all want to sit on the same side of the table, so we've got to put a bunch of tables together in the banquet room, i mean it's just a huge pain in the ass. and then i come around to get their drink orders, and they're so cheap that -- get this -- they all want to split one glass of wine, all thirteen of them. i can see that i'm not going to get any kind of tip out of this smelly bunch of guys...

(with apologies to jon stewart.)

So Glen-o must be upset we're mocking him. I mean, people...this is the REAL JESUS!!!

DID YOU HEAR ME, PEOPLE?!?!?!???

JESUS, FOR CHRISSAKES!

C'mon, slap. Don't mock the guy. He's been stigmatized enough already.

last supper? damn, make it separate checks please!

In the movie, "The Ruling Class", Peter O'Toole believes that he is God. There is a line in the movie that goes,

Peter's standing outside the cordon of legionaires, looking up at Jesus on the cross, when he hears a faint plea . . .

Peter . . . Peter, my son . . . i must speak to you . . .

Anxious, afraid, uncertain, Peter gathers his courage and rushes the line of soldiers, managing to break through briefly before being pole axed by the Primipilus. He staggers back into the crowd, and, as his head clears, he again hears the fait appeal . . .

Peter, Peter . . . i must speak to you . . .

Finally, Peter once again screws his courage to the sticking point, and suddenly runs at the line, and makes it to the foot of the cross, before the Primipilus whacks him again with his pilum . . . but taking pity on him, as he crawls away . . .

Well, Jew, you've got courage, at least . . . com'ere, i'll help you up . . .

And he brings Peter to the foot of the cruxifix . . .










HEY PETER, LOOK . . . I CAN SEE YER HOUSE FROM UP HERE ! ! !

There's a great song by John Prine, "Jesus, The Missing Years". I don't recall any mention of Glenn, but no one ever said Prine knew everything. Still a pretty fine tune, though...

next thing setantas gonna break out some elephant jokes.

Jesus, if its ok with you, I came in here by myself and Im not with these people and their horrible sense of humor. Well, what I wanna talk to you about is this,
WE have this little lottery goin on in a bunch of states, See? and I was wondering , would it hurt you to put a little number on the gears of the bingo machine and help out an old altar boy?

I've neem looking for the lyrics to the Beat Farmers' "Are You Drinking With Me, Jesus?" but can't fine 'em.

Maybe Glen can tell me: did Country Dick go to the good place, or did he go to heaven?

did jesus have teachings from hindu holy men?

I have a copy of Jesus' high school yearbook. ANy interest? I was gonna put it on eBAy, they take most anything

And who is Glenn, anyway (other than Jesus)?

The only Glenns I know are John Glenn and Glenn Frey. Add in our Glenn here, and we have three, which has trinity connotations, and I don't mean the character Carrie-Anne Moss plays in The Matrix.

Ack, my head hurts.

Its a holiday jes, we should be thinking cool thoughts and not going real deep for the metaphors (unless of course we talk about food stuffs and Jesus)

I know Watkins Glen, and GlennGould and his orchestra, Glenlivet and Glenfiddich (thatll do for me)

Y'know, I just realized I forgot Glenn Campbell. So the trinity is complete.

John Glenn
Glenn Frey
Glenn Campbell

Happy 4th a day early!

Hey, I've got Jesus' high school yearbook too....he was voted most likely to start a religion and be impersonated.

And I've got his year book picture
http://www.pbase.com/image/6765534