I am Jesus.

Two men say they're Jesus
One of them must be wrong...
-Dire Straights, Industrial Disease.

Dunno 'bout Jesus, but 'Thou art God' works for me. And you. And the rest of you too...

Glenn

You ought to be prepared for a bit of razzing on your post. Could you tell me what is occuring with you?

Gotta tell ya this. Just this morning when I walked into the pro shop at my favorite golf course, one of the guys behind the counter said to me:

Jesus Christ, are you here again.

Now...I don't want to make too much of it, but....

I had an incredible laugh with this thread.

By the way, do you happen to know Isis, or is Baal you neighbor???? :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

I married Isis on the 5th day of May

All the statement "I am Jesus" means to me is that you might be Mexican....

"Jesus In A Camper Van"

Ooh we've got a live one, featherweight icon
Heroes let 'im down so he sleeps with the
Light on
And there's nothin' left to do but kneel down
And pray
Sail away with Caesar if you're a non believer
Everybody get high if you're a
Diamond geezer
It's the devil that needs ya so go out and play

Blame yourself it's easier
There's no need to trouble her you trouble her

Jesus in a camper van he said sorry to
Leave you but I've done all I can
I suppose even the son of God
Gets it hard sometimes
Especially when he goes round
Saying I am the way

And now it's four in the mornin' yes yes y'all in
No one can shoot but everybody's scoring
Trust me it's boring get down and pray

They told you not to meddle with the bass and The treble
There's dust on your needle and you think that
You're a rebel

You're Evel Knievel so get down and pray
Blame yourself it's easier
There's no need to trouble her you trouble her

Jesus in a camper van he said sorry to
Leave you but I've done all I can
I suppose even the son of God
Gets it hard sometimes
Especially when he goes round
Saying I am the way

I am the way, I am the way, I am the way
I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am the way

Jesus in a camper van he said sorry to
Leave you but I've done all I can
I suppose even the son of God
Gets it hard sometimes

Jesus in a camper van he said sorry to
Leave you but I've done all I can
I suppose even the son of God
Gets it hard sometimes

Blame yourself it's easier
There's no need to trouble her
Blame yourself it's easier
There's no need to trouble her

Jesus in a camper van he says sorry to
Leave you but I've done all I can
I suppose even the son of God
Gets it hard sometimes
Jesus in a camper van he says sorry to
Leave you but I've done all I can
I suppose even the son of God
Gets it hard sometimes

I wanna see your hand. c.i.

<snicker, snort>

Re: I am Jesus.


Glenn:

You can "believe" anything you want. Could you please tell us, what you plan on doing, now that you've realized your true potential?

glenn, you stick with your dreams boy, In this great country every body who has the ability and the dream, the honest to you dream, can become any you damn thing he you damn wants. Dont let these clowns dismay you.
By the way, when Phoenix posted that "plastic Jesus" song I just had a flashback to when I was a little kid. My dad had a 56 Olds 98 with A PADDED DASHBOARD. Phoenix' song assumes that all dashboards were IRON in order to affect an attraction between the dash and the Jesus driving fetish. Now I dont wanna be picky but when did they stop making dashboards out of iron? Seems like a pretty big safety advance
OUR Dashboards are no longer made of iron, so you wont turn into a fruit rollup whenever you pole this baby" -

Well kid, get working on your wine making skills, then guaranteed , your gonna have some bigass conversions going on.

Glenn:

Is there some reason, why we should doubt you?

hey there ,
somebody , on another thread wants to know whats up with this half brother James thing?

Did you ever wanna go up to James and say
"Hey Jimmy, whos yer daddy?"

Looks like the Soul Doctor has his first patient in the waiting room.

Glen:

You can speak your heart and soul here.

Joseph was the father of James and Jesus. RIght?

You may be Jesus...but I am Slappy Doo Hoo, holder of the world's largest collection of midgets. They sing, dance, and bring me beer.

Now, c'mon Slap. Are they large or are the midgets. This is starting to sound like jumbo shrimp.

Aww....I want a midget....my wife almost qualifies, but she's not quite short enough, and I usually have to get my own beer.

I will sell you one of my midgets, cav. They're house trained, and don't take up too much space. $399 plus S+H.