Someone, please, hold a gun to my head

For our folks, it's more of a once a year (for crying out loud ONLY once) nod of acknowledgement of their existence.

My father used to say it was my mom's way of saying

"Hey, we're still not dead."

Joe(they are now.)Nation

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I like to send out those postcards with photos. That way all of the relatives can see how big the kids have gotten. I'm not into the long holiday letter summing up my year.

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I don't believe in Christmas cards since they interfere with my Jewish side and Chanukah cards just leave me feeling guilty since they remind me that I have wasted oil in the past year and never would have lasted 8 days and would have been sitting in the dark after the first hour. Non-sectarian cards can be amusing (who can forget Yuppies roasting on an open fire?) and yet I just can't be bothered.

Then there's the fortune spent on postage stamps which invariably have some image which is not all inclusive so I end up with stamps depicting anything that is not season related.

Of course I only force about a dozen cards out per year and then there are the years I send even less. Once there were only 3.

Not to mention the price of those cards! Oy vey! A gallon of gasoline would be cheaper than most of these cards. But you never hear about the greeting card cartel (Hallmark, American Greetings, Wallet Drainers and a half zillion others).

Due to other things this year I have forgotten when Christmas is going to occur and the same goes for Chanukah and All Gifts Day...

As my pal Eb often says: "X-Mas...Bah! Humbug!" and Eb is something of a genius so who am I to argue with him?

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I never bother with them damn things, unless somebody puts me on the spot by sending me one first. I do send several online free cards, but even there, no more than I am forced to.

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if you should find some old christmas-cards circa 1900 and earlier , they'd be worth a bit of money .
so you better check the old trunks in the attic and see what you can find .
hbg

http://www.operationlettertosanta.com/Pages/xmas20.jpg

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I joined Hallmark Anonymous years ago. I warned some people not to take it personally, and that I was just tired of feeling like I was on a forced march when doing the card thing. I prefer to call people and say "Happy, Merry, Joyous (fill in the blank). I still get a ton of cards - all business related. The weirdest is I still get a card from the company that put a new roof on my house almost 12 years ago.

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Joe Nation wrote:

Gala wrote:
Joe, if it's this much torture, then why bother doing them? Is it guilt? Cause feeling guilt is useless, unless it's part of your DNA and you inherited it. I inherited guilt, but I still don't send cards.

I don't particularly like getting holiday cards. Especially the laundry list ones, where they rattle off every event they participated in during the year, save for wiping their a**es 365 times.

Well, first, and I meant to say this before, I'm a procrastinator AND a former Catholic (guilt DNA) from an Irish Catholic (double in spades guilt DNA) family who married into a Jewish family (Stratospheric double in spades guilt DNA) all of whom expect cards (What? Was your hand broken? --that from the Catholics) from the Jews I get 'It would have been nice to be though about but nevermind about us''... . (I think they talk to each other behind my back.

Okay, time for younger brother.

Joe(I'll be back)Nation

Who said that?

This is funny. You know, the "was your hand broken?" could be coming from the Jews too. Then again, the Jews would say, "What? Was your hand broken? You could've used the other one."

Signed, (I speak from experience) Gala

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Green Witch wrote:

The weirdest is I still get a card from the company that put a new roof on my house almost 12 years ago.

For the price of 12 stamps they got your business for when you need new shingles.

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George wrote:

Joe Nation wrote:
...Well, first, and I meant to say this before, I'm a procrastinator AND a former Catholic (guilt DNA) from an Irish Catholic (double in spades guilt DNA) family who married into a Jewish family (Stratospheric double in spades guilt DNA)...

Yeah? Well, I'm from an Irish Catholic family, married into a Chinese family
and my daughter is marrying into a Jewish family.
George (guiltier than thou) Soccer

But wait!

The groom's mother and grandmother and all other said Jews involved in this union will find consolation-- Chinese Food! preferably kosher, but who's counting? Take out for the rest of their married lives. It's a mitzvah.

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I don't do cards.

Odd that Set mentioned the solstice though. I've been practicing all day for my annual Winter Dance...or as the wife and kids call it...dads vodka dance.

All of you are welcome to attend, Dec 21st 8:22 Pm {central standard time} don't be late, or you will miss the bonfire lighting ceremony...last year, it blowed up really good. I must ask that you refrain from touching the stone henge replica, it's made out of styrofoam....real rocks were just too heavy. And don't worry about me being cold...my goat skin pants are really cozy.

ps...does anyone know where I can find a decent used virgin? I want to expand the show this year, but I'm working with a tight budget.

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order your kosher food in beijing , no proplem !

Kosher Take Away Service in Beijing
Have hot kosher meals delivered to your hotel

You can now get kosher meals delivered to your hotel or office in Beijing!

Chabad will deliver meals to you from the daily set menu for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

...KOSHER TAKEAWAY IN BEIJING...

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Chai Tea wrote:

Green Witch wrote:
The weirdest is I still get a card from the company that put a new roof on my house almost 12 years ago.

For the price of 12 stamps they got your business for when you need new shingles.

Which you will in six or seven more years.
==

What else does Eb say?, Sturgis??

-==-

Quote:

I like to send out those postcards with photos. That way all of the relatives can see how big the kids have gotten.

I like getting photos.... my brother is still helping to populate the world at age 54--- it's fun seeing how the babies change.

joe(and it helps when you see them to remember who's who)Nation

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Joe, I DO hope that's the other brother you're talking about!!! Rolling Eyes

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We dont really send cards around here (South Africa). Sure, we all have lotsa cards lying around, we just dont send them anywhere. The postal service is a bit dodgy, just like most other services. In South Africa you will find that people display blank cards in the places where your belongings used to be...LOL

No, I'm just kidding. We send tonnes of cards out every year, because the phones dont ever work, because people keep stealing the copper cables...LOL

Got you again. What is Christmas?

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Quote:

Got you again. What is Christmas?

Luckily, you've asked this in the humor section otherwise I be forced to give you a long detailed sappy answer which would include the words Joy
God'sLove and Myrrh. As it is Christmas has become, in America at least, an orgy, but not the good kind.

It's because the Three Wise Men brought gifts to a newborn baby. ( Those dumb bastards, it's all their fault. ) We have somehow twisted that gift giving into getting gifts for everyone in our immediate vicinity and for several zipcodes beyond.

So there is a certain amount of manic panic involved in all the shopping. And all the decorating and all the fun seeking. We Americans don't really know how to have a good time, we know how to work, so even our celebrations turn into massive expeditions and exhibitions without any inhibitions.

If Christ ever saw what we've done to his birthday, he do more than turn over the tables of the moneychangers, he's cut up all of our credit cards.

Joe(and shut all that sappy music about Joy)Nation

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Thank for the reply. After I had made the post, I thought that I might have pushed it a bit far.

Christmas is also becoming just another marketing gimmick here in South Africa. We had stores put up decorations as early as October. Which is very funny really. Especially all the fake snow etc. (we have never had a white Xmas here, ever. It being Africa and all). My family and I decided a few years back not to buy into it anymore. We still exchange gifts, but you are not allowed to buy anything (except for paint etc). We make gifts for each other. This may sound lame (it did to me), but if you take the time and effort it really does turn into something special, that you will remember and cherish.

BTW, I really do hope you and your family have a very special Xmas, filled with love and peace.

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same to you.

Cheers

Joe(74 more to go)Nation

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Jnkie wrote "tonnes" rather than "tons." He/she is obviously not an American. Somebody should shoot him/her.

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The thread title included the word "gun" and cjhsa hasn't shown.
'Sup with that?

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Has he mellowed after the success of his Happy Thanksgiving thread? I really need some threatening.

My wife asked me last night if I had sent all the cards yet and I said.... "Er, uh, do you want to order in some dinner?"

We had some burgers and chicken Cesare salad.

Joe(I'm still adding to the list)Nation

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Someone, please, hold a gun to my head

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