3
   

Worst musicals ever

 
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jul, 2004 11:14 am
Hee.

"I Only Have Eyes to Lose"?
0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jul, 2004 11:20 am
Everyone's Singin' Ebola (soundtrack by The Kinks)

"A monkey came and peed in the water supply,
and the people drank it up and they all died of Ebola,
E-bo-l-a, bola."
0 Replies
 
drom et reve
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jul, 2004 12:19 pm
Wonderful thread.

I'm thinking the all-singing, all-dancing version of 'A Teenager's Guide to STDs' has to be one of the worst, with such songs as 'Gonohhrea to remember me by' and a rousing REM semi-cover, 'Everybody herpes.'

0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jul, 2004 12:36 pm
"My crotch is alive
with a thousand oozes!"
0 Replies
 
williamhenry3
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jul, 2004 07:50 pm
George wrote:
"My crotch is alive
with a thousand oozes!"


Sung, I suppose, to the title song fromThe Sound of Music.
Embarrassed
0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jul, 2004 09:54 pm
We now have 'Debbie does Dallas: the Musical' - what's next? 'Deep Throat'? -there can't be enough scope for a singing female lead role........
0 Replies
 
drom et reve
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jul, 2004 01:32 am
I remember of a musical version of Hamlet, set in a sado-masochists' club in the 1980s. Now that really was painful. One of the Bard's finest soliloquoys was turned into 'To dance or not to dance,' sung to music discarded by Culture Club.


0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jul, 2004 04:21 am
It's all been done before.....

Quote:
I ache for the touch of your lips, dear,
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear.
You can raise welts
Like nobody else,
As we dance to the masochism tango.

Let our love be a flame, not an ember,
Say it's me that you want to dismember.
Blacken my eye,
Set fire to my tie,
As we dance to the masochism tango.

At your command
Before you here I stand,
My heart is in my hand. ecch!
It's here that I must be.
My heart entreats,
Just hear those savage beats,
And go put on your cleats
And come and trample me.
Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany,
That's why I'm in such exquisite agony.

My soul is on fire,
It's aflame with desire,
Which is why I perspire
When we tango.

You caught my nose
In your left castanet, love,
I can feel the pain yet, love,
Ev'ry time I hear drums.
And I envy the rose
That you held in your teeth, love,
With the thorns underneath, love,
Sticking into your gums.

Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches.
The last time I needed twenty stitches
To sew up the gash
That you made with your lash,
As we danced to the masochism tango.

Bash in my brain,
And make me scream with pain,
Then kick me once again,
And say we'll never part.
I know too well
I'm underneath your spell,
So, darling, if you smell
Something burning, it's my heart.
Excuse me!

Take your cigarette from it's holder,
And burn your initials in my shoulder.
Fracture my spine,
And swear that you're mine,
As we dance to the masochism tango.
0 Replies
 
blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jul, 2004 04:23 am
Spinal Tap's Saucy Jack comes to mind....has this already been mentioned?
0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jul, 2004 05:10 am
Have I already mentioned 'Cannibal: the Musical"?
0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jul, 2004 06:59 am
A Visitor's Guide to Saskatoon
0 Replies
 
George
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jul, 2004 07:04 am
My fingers are numb, but my nose is number.
I'm freezin up in Saskatoon - what a bummer!
Comin here was dumb, but stayin here is dumber.
I'm freezin up in Saskatoon, and this the summer!
0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Thu 29 Jul, 2004 07:05 am
Laughing Good one, George. Let me suggest a title for the theme song: "Move Along, Nothing to See Here."
0 Replies
 
Equus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Aug, 2004 02:34 pm
"I'll be hummin' that Saska-tune,
Not Alaska-tune, not Nebraska-tune,
but my Saska-
If you don't know just Ask-a,
my Saska-
Saska-tune!"

Tickets to Saskatoon the musical are $10 for a pair, $20 for one, $50 if you don't come at all.
0 Replies
 
drom et reve
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Aug, 2004 06:43 am
Laughing

'Wings: the musical' is one sight that I hope that I never see.


0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Aug, 2004 06:58 am
Our Lady of the Flowers: The Musical

Disney takes on Genet's most pessimistic novel and happys it up with a life-inspiring Elton John soundtrack including many original songs, and some rewrites, most notably "My Prison Bitch is Back."
0 Replies
 
drom et reve
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Aug, 2004 07:17 am
Laughing

With a car that talks in a dodgy faux-English accent thrown in for the hell of it, I guess?

0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Aug, 2004 07:31 am
dròm_et_rêve wrote:
Laughing

With a car that talks in a dodgy faux-English accent thrown in for the hell of it, I guess?



Laughing Absolutely!
0 Replies
 
drom et reve
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Aug, 2004 07:41 am
Very Happy. Knowing Disney, Divine would be turned into an old schoolmaster who just had to go away, the gay sex scenes glossed over by putting Mellisa Joan-Hart or the Olsen twins in there somewhere, and all the action would take place in a seventies-looking apartment in Minneapolis...

0 Replies
 
cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Aug, 2004 07:45 am
Laughing Too funny...
0 Replies
 
 

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