The Pentacle Queen wrote:oh and about the boob and bum thing.
I think that was because i was too polite to say no.
i know that sounds stupid but i dont have a lot of confidence with that type of thing...
i didnt really enjoy it, because that was when i only just thought he was fit, i didnt fancy him, so to speak.
and i am only wondering whether i should be with my boyfriend because i am lusting after someone else. i havent ever done that before... ive always been loyal.
i suppose thats why i feel like a slut.
Too polite to say no? That's not the way they teach manners around here.
You're feeling like a slut because, to a degree, you are behaving like one. Only because you have a BF, mind you... otherwise you are basically acting your age. You know damned well your boyfriend would consider your behavior tantamount to cheating (as would most of the civilized world). If you can knock it off (and want to), then do so and have the decency to never let your BF know you betrayed his trust. No good will come from relieving your guilt with a confession. If you can't knock it off (or don't want to), break up with your BF immediately, stating some other truth (like you are too young to be tied down and
fear you won't be faithful. Again, there's no need to burden him with the knowledge of your betrayal... unless you think he'll find out anyway.
Alex, will not become your new man, if he's worthwhile. You've already demonstrated to him that you can't be trusted. You can still have some carnal fun, but don't go thinking it will lead to anything more. I'd advise you to learn to be you without the dishonesty aspect that causes feelings of guilt. That's likely not going to make you feel good about you. There is no way to have your cake and eat it too... and still be happy when you look in the mirror.
Best wishes and good luck deciding what to do next.
