Temptation is rearing his beautiful head. Please help.

You're 18 and at college. Maybe it's tiime to let go of the security of your lovely boyfriend and experience life. If he's really lovely, you'll still be friends. Besides, he will probably be tempted soon enough too.

Are you having your period?

My personal opinion on this is that you may love your boyfriend but you aren't ready to settle down.

You let him touch your breasts and behind. I don't think that's innocent. If I let another man touch me there, my husband would be furious. And rightfully so.

You aren't a slut, btw. You are young. And you should be young. Do I think you should break up with your boyfriend? Maybe.

Lusting after and thinking about someone else is not abnormal in any way. But you are confused about whether or not you should be with your current boyfriend. And that is all together different. That means that there is something other than physical attraction going on between you and Alex.

Just because you think about kssing Alex doesn't mean anything. If you think about actually doing it, then you should definitely think about breaking up with your boyfriend.

Does any of that make sense?

You should definitely have sex with the new guy as much as possible and keep it a secret from your boyfriend.

Hope that helps.

This is EXACTLY why people age 18-19 shouldn't HAVE full blown steady "relationships." There's a whole big world out there to explore. Getting tied down is for later, after you've had some life experience under your belt (so to speak). So get out there. Date around. Break some hearts and get your heart broken. Then go and do it again.

Live life with all the mindless verve and vitality that I inevitably find so depressing in the young. There's plenty of time to hitch your star to one person later on, after you've seen the myriad of options available and are better able to make an informed decision.

Totally agree, you are NOT a slut.Dont go calling yourself that, us gals get a tough enough time as it is without you calling yourself one.
Saying that boobs and butts should be for your bf only.

Anyhoo.
If it wasnt Alex it would be someone else, you sound like a normal teenager.You are gona be tempted lots of times in your life.

Maybe you just want to stray because you are too comfortable with your bf.

If you are gona split with your bf and just have sex with Alex think about if you can handle Alex ignoring you after youve done it.Not meaning to be the moaning minnie I always am but its a big possibility and Im thinking worst case scenario, he is just gona want to have sex with yuo.CAn you handle it if he then moves onto someone else and you have no one.
Youve already said you get jealous if he talks to other girls.

right, now i think some of you are probably right.

however. I dont think that im ready to be single. I like the comfortuble-ness of my boyfriend, you are right.
but i dont think im ready to start sleeping around, because im pretty thick sometimes and would probably just get hurt a lot.
and given the fact that ive been on anti depressants that aint a v good idea.


If i did go off with alex then it would only be the same story, because i would just get bored of him, and probably more quickly, because he isnt a crazy-ass out door instructor.

god i dunno. i have a lot of flash in the pans and this is probably one of them.

do i have to decide now?
should i tell my bf?
should i talk to alex?

and no i am not on my period.
and i think that i would be right in saying just because some of you missed out on having sex with everyone when u were my age doesnt mean i have to drop everything and do that for the sake of it when im happy with someone does it?

and no i dont think of actually kissing him when im with him, in fact when im with him he terrifies me and i dont actually talk to him.

shall i just flip a coin?

thanks btw xxxxxxxxx

oh and about the boob and bum thing.
I think that was because i was too polite to say no.
i know that sounds stupid but i dont have a lot of confidence with that type of thing...
i didnt really enjoy it, because that was when i only just thought he was fit, i didnt fancy him, so to speak.

and i am only wondering whether i should be with my boyfriend because i am lusting after someone else. i havent ever done that before... ive always been loyal.
i suppose thats why i feel like a slut.

Oh, fer crissake. Look, if you want to be an adult, then act like one. Either you're in a committed relationship or your not. Frankly, it's just this kind of self-indulgent angst that leads me to believe your simply too immature right now to be so committed. But whatever.

At the very least, be honest and up front with the boyfriend. He deserves to know what he's in for.

Right. If you're happy, you're happy.

I think the main thing is to look at the whole thing with eyes open, don't over-commit yourself. It sounds like you're being pretty reasonable about that.

I have mixed feelings on the age thing. If you were saying you wanted to get married, I'd be going "noooooo!!!" But that doesn't mean you have to break up, necessarily. I've talked about a very serious relationship I had from when I was 18 to 20 -- probably more serious than the one you are in (we were living together, for example). There is a lot I regret about it, especially how little OTHER stuff I did during that time (spending all my time with the bf), but I also learned a lot of really good relationship stuff that I was able to use later on. And it sounds like you're bypassing some of the bad stuff of being in a serious relationship so young -- you ARE going out and having fun and making new friends and stuff.

I wouldn't put any particular store in this:



That's stupid. As long as it's in the realm of imagination anyway -- actually doing something is entirely different.

It sounds to me like you don't necessarily have to do anything in particular except keep thinking about this stuff and don't stumble into anything that you don't want to do -- do it because you've thought about it and think it's worth it. (And if you don't think it's worth it, don't.)

So you know, I was joking about you having your period.

Can I feel your boobs?

Little information here..

Everyone.. no matter what age they are, can imagine kissing other people. And they usually do.

We are sexual beings at all ages.
Being married, in love, or dating does not stop this. And it is ok.

If you DIDNT find other people sexy/attractive, I would worry that you were a bit obsessive and might be a dangerous person to be in a relationship with.
So stop beating yourself up for feeling sexy with someone else. This is natural, and quite enjoyable.

I flirt, and I am married with a child. I flirt because I love the attention , I am a sexual being, and I enjoy feeling wanted. I look at attractive men and women, sometimes even with my husband.

A marriage/ relationship works when you can accept this fact about BOTH sides. Someone else said he ( your boyfriend) will be 'tempted' sometime too. And this is also true.

Though, I would take the word tempted out of the statement. Because I dont think there is anything wrong with flirting, dancing, fantasizing, or watching another person you find sexy. What I do see a problem with is allowing another person outside of your relationship to actually touch you.
This I think is crossing the line.

But, and I am sure you dont want to hear this, you are still young. IT IS O.K. !!!
You will break someones heart, you will have your heart broken, but life does go on. You DO get over it and so do they.
Dont fret too much about living inside of societies rules yet. You have plenty of time to do this.
But if it makes you feel bad the way you are behaving then dont do it. Dont do things that make you feel bad. Life is too short.
If what is making you feel bad is that your b/f MIGHT find out..
then dont let him find out.
Stop letting this other person touch you. But keep flirting and have fun.

Im sorry.
This is a lot more serious to me than it is to you.

thanks shewolf
that was helpful.

Are you talking to me? Because if you are, and you cannot take a little ribbing on an Internet chat board, then you are certainly not capable of a committed relationship.

Pentacle Queen--

Unfortunately at least one of our A2K members lives under a bridge with a gun rack and well thumbed copy of Joe Miller's Joke Book.

You wrote:



In this day and age, considering that you're going to be a very different person when you graduate in 3 1/2 years you're too young to be tied down.

When you say, "I don't think that I'm ready to be single," I think you're saying that your relationship with your high school bf is not only emotionally satisfactory, but a tether of good sense that keeps you out of "trouble", that stops you from getting into dangerous situations and relationships.

So be it. You're living with limits that you set.

Meanwhile, Mr. Touchy-Feely has got to go--especially if you don't like his roaming hands. I'm not saying that your body belongs to your steady boyfriend--I'm saying that your body belongs to you and you'd better take care of it. Respect yourself and insist on respect from others.

Hold your dominion.

I had a hell of a time getting the permit to mount that gun rack on the bridge, but the county finally relented after they admitted enjoying my humor.

Thats hillarious.

Basically you are right. he stops me from getting involved with dangerous things.
But hes fun, hes great. Thats not his sole purpose.

I have no idea and right now im confused to high heaven.
Im fed up of my emotional rollercoaster.
In case u hadnt noticed ive posted a lot on here recently.
and now i have an impulsive desire to text my boyfriend and tell him i love him more than anything else in the world. because in a way i do.

jesus.

Noddy, you couldn't have said it better.