OK guys, would you date a woman who has children??

I'm very proud of the fact that I am fortunate enough to have two amazing kids. Truely, I must have done something right, they are very loving, compationate, friendly,funny,caring(and yes, sometimes a little naughty and argumentative) good natured individuals. I would never hide the fact that they exsist. I just don't know if they are ready to have another person in our lives. I feel that dating can happen on my time rather than theirs. Then hopefully, when I know in my heart that I've met the person I'd like to spend my future with, I can introduce them into family functions. Also, I think my kids are ready to accept me dating but right now I can have time for them and when they are with their father, time for myself.

Marty, I'm sorry but I missed how old your kids are exactly?

Geez, this brings me back to when I found out my mom was dating again. I was 14. She 'hid' it for a good while, so I was asking 'where are going? who are you with?' Y'know, I was 14, a little paranoid, and didn't like being left out of the loop. I still remember the day she brought my future step-dad home. Poor guy! The circumstances were different than your though. As an adult, it is hard to say if mom did it the best way or not. That takes a lot of hard discretion to figure out the particularities of what to share with your kids, and what not to and when?! She did what she figured was best at that time, and it all seemed to turn out ok in the end...so.

Anyways, I don't really have a point to that story. Except to say: I surely know my mom was not looking for the love of her life at that point, she was originally out to have fun. Later I found out that she had dated many men before meeting stepdad (never knew about it at the time). But it worked out that they were great together. He knew about us (myself and my brother) and he was divorced/had grown kids of his own. He even liked us. haha. That's pretty good considering how I was at that time.

Worrying about if there are men who will love you and your kids almost seems silly to me. Because of course there is someone in the world who will be right for you! In your 40's and with kids who aren't little ones, it is a whole different ballgame than if you were a 22 yr old single mom.
Your kids have a father and a family. They have already been 'raised' to a large extent. Somehow that makes a huge difference, I think.
And so long as you are there for them as a mom, hearing how great your kids are and how well they seem to be: they'll be able to handle your dating however you do choose to handle it with them.

It really helped when I could speak to my mom honestly about the situation, though. I mean, knowing she was seeing a man and being able to voice my concerns/feelings about my father in relationship to it all. We grew closer and got along a lot better at that point. But it all depends so much...

All in all, I agree with Noddy and Stuh. And I wouldn't waste time dating men who aren't cool with your kids (knowing you have kids). Because you never know who you will fall in love with or who will be the one for you!

good wishes

I am currently dating a women with 2 children, i work days, and she works nights, her ex husband (in progress) is the epitome of douche bag and tries to hinder her happiness to increase his own selfish ideological ego fulfillment at every turn i.e. snide comments, consistent attempts of degradation for his failed marriage, lousy parenting, etc. I like the woman a lot but being a single man without any children finds this whole relationship a major encumbrance. Perhaps I am trying to maintain a tomcat mentality or perhaps I'm just concerned that my admiration is misplaced on someone who deems themself damaged goods due to their previous remnants of a failed attempt, either way theirs no way for me to be certain of this adoration. Point is, we dont get to spend much time together, and 90% of the inhibition is caused on her side, now in all honesty, is that fair? When you have 2 people providing an unconditional emotion is it fair that its not Dutch? 50/50. I'm not sure people fully understand just reading it, but its like when you put 20$ to a bill when all you ordered were fries, or when you are the guy always helping someone move but left high and dry when you do. Its just not fair and time is of the essence and who wants to waste it on someone who might not be the proverbial one? So bottomline it's a very taxing, encumbering relationship that predominantly ends in failure due to underlying feelings of resentment. My best friend married his high school sweetheart who had twins in high school with someone else, they're still together, 15 years 2 more kids and working on their happily ever after. I hope this helped I'm just one man and this is my predicated story of my experience. There's always porn until the right one comes along. Thank you.

My wife has 3 children from a previous marriage. I knew that going in, and started dating her anyway.
We have been together since 04 and got married in 08.
I love her kids like my own, and I consider them my kids. It all depends ob how much you want to make it work.