Give Me a Flirting Tutorial

No tips from me, I thought you did nicely. But then, remember, I'm not a primo flirt.

a. You'd not have looked away for more than a second.

b. I am a hopeless flirt.

c. You'd have stopped when you were addressed from the bench!!!!! You'd have chatted!! You'd have said (genuinely) how you enjoyed her question, and picked up som epoint...hagiography would have taken my fancy....

d. When you'd chatted for a while, you'd have

i. Asked for a phone number
ii. Asked if they wanted to go for coffee and, if no, i, if yes, i layer.


But...what the hell would I know?

Maybe I wore you out with the first six paragraphs and you didn't pay enough attention to the seventh and the eighth. As I realized about an hour after the fact, China girl was reaching out flirtingwise after the family money debate -- twice. Both times, I could have flirted back, and maybe kept it going for a while, but I didn't. And what did I do instead? The first time, I read the stupid metal plate. The second time, I just kept walking, absent-mindedly, in whatever direction I'd been walking in before.

No, I didn't "do nicely".

Ok, ok, ok.

Plus, I've just been given a lesson by Dlowan.

Pulls up chair.


Who knows, one of them may google Warren Delano and find this thread.
(Probably the tour guide, that that's another denouement.)

Thanks, dlowan. Isn't it amazing how obvious your answer seems in hindsight?

They always do.

Here you should have told Miss India that you forgot your glasses and
that you would be most appreciative if she could be your seeing eye guide
for the remainder of the tour. This way, she'd stay close to you and
most certainly deserve a lunch invitation in return, which she gladly had
accepted if the scenario would have played out this way.

Being a bit helpless will speed up the process you know

Slappy wrote the book.Go look.

The girls gave him grief, mostly because they didn't like the title.

I'm confused. Which one was the potential flirtee?

I'm with dlowan. You need to close the deal, as it were. The object is to continue the contact so that means either moving it toward coffee (lunch is a bit much) or getting a phone number.

But it is confusing. If you want to get IG's number, but it's CG who's flirting up a storm, you're setting yourself up for them both thinking you're a cad. Or you can play it straight up the middle, e. g. ask them something like, "Are you ladies free for coffee after the tour?" and then once coffee is done add something like, "Well, when will I see you gals again? I need to practice my supporting skills, you know." And then they laugh and you either get a phone number (or two), or not. That way you don't commit to wanting to get the number from the one who's more reluctant to give it to you (or who may be taken already) and don't set yourself up as a cad. They may think you're a player, that you want to see both of them. Let 'em think that. If it continues, it'll sort itself out soon enough.

I'm confused about whether IG or CG was the designated flirtee, too. Any typos? If not, will go from there.

Yes, two typos -- sorry. You have to change "China Girl" into "India Girl" in the following two sentences:




Although China Girl seemed a perfectly nice lady, as far as I am concerned she was just an accessory to India Girl, and played no part in any flirting, active or passive. Again, sorry for the confusion. And A2K needs a button, "send post to Roberta for proof reading."

Like Roberta needs the aggravation! ;-)

OK, that clears things up. Otherwise there's a bad and confusing "I like girl A but her friend B likes me... what to do, what to do..." situation. Glad that's not the case.

It does sound like Indian Girl was interested in at least a broad way. My first rule of flirting (back in the day) was "hey, if this particular guy doesn't work out, he may have a friend..." Being just generally friendly and seeing where it goes seems to work pretty well, especially if you're new in town and building up a social network. I know a lot of guys have this horror of being relegated to the friend role rather than boyfriend role, but so many successful relationships I know of happened when mutual friends introduced the relationshippers.

Anyway, for this situation, I agree with dlowan's take on it, especially in terms of picking up on something specific (like the "hagiography" thing) and going from there.

That makes a lot of sense, Sozobe -- thanks!

And Jespah, although I didn't have the more complicated problem my typos described, you solved it for me anyway. I may well run into that problem later, and now I'll have a game plan to pull out of the drawer. Thanks for that, too.

Well, I hope it works ....