Next time take that book out of your back pocket and see what happens. Maybe your family thinks its nerdy
Kicky, you and I know just about the same amount about kids (nothing) so I've got a couple of questions.
Is it really that important to you to have this great jolly uncle relationship with them? I mean, do you REALLY look forward to seeing them when you visit?
I eventually learned about kids that you can't totally ignore them, because eventually they grow up and turn into people you can talk to, and they get interesting then. But it's hard to figure out what exactly to do with them or find something to talk about. Especially if they're the "still waters run deep" type.
With the ones that will talk, I've learned to latch onto something they said about something that seemed important, and then just ask them an open ended question, and look interested while they tell me all about captain underpants or something.
So, if she DIDN'T like you for a while, would that be such a terrible thing?
You're story about the funeral freaked me out....are you sure we're not related?
At my father's funeral MY sister-in-law, who is a total bitch, was trying to make trouble left and right. I hadn't even seen my 2 nieces but maybe once in my life (at another funeral, my brothers), but apparantly my SIL had filled their heads with all kinds of disinformation. The girls at the time were oh, ****, I can't remember, 7 and 12? I don't really remember the 7 year old, but I'll tell you, that 12 was on the track to making my SIL look like Mary Poppins. I know she had 666 somewhere on her body.
I know all this does nothing to help, just sharing the wealth.
Well, kicky, I don't think your being too sensitive. Anyone would feel hurt if someone's making nasty comments to them. Especially if it's coming from a kid you care about.
But don't feel bad about the way you handled it. Life's messy, and we can't always find the perfect time and place to express our feelings when something's wrong. People don't always react and respond the way we want them too, either.
At least, it's on the table now, and open for discussion. Sounds like it needed to be. And your neice needs to learn that kind of behavior isn't acceptable. Trust me, it won't kill her. It will help her.
I hope you and your brother and sister-in-law can get things sorted out. Just tell them what you've told us here.
I get a stomach ache when I think how simple it would have been for my damn mother to just not say anything. Just not say anything. That's all she had to do. How hard is that? It seems so simple to not say anything, doesn't it? I want to strangle her right now, but I also know that her mom just died and she is in a fragile state, so I don't want to even say anything to set her emotions a'flyin'. The knife-twist in my gut is the fact that she told me a giant secret about my uncle, and told me not to say anything about it, only a few weeks ago. It didn't seem like such a hard thing to do. In fact, it was f*cking easy! You just DON'T SAY ANYTHING! What the hell!!!???
And Chai, thanks for sharing. I love hearing stories like that. As far as my weekend, that story was only one of many. My mother is a little nutty, but my two aunts--holy ****. They are loveable, but so far gone into their religious worlds that they now have a fleeting grasp of reality at best. At least my mother hasn't gone that far off the deep end.
I must have heard at least a half-dozen stories this past weekend that included the phrase, "I prayed on it", and of course, a resolution that proved that their prayers had been answered--two of which happened in Wal-Mart, which I believe to be some kind of Mecca for them. And the first night I was there I had to share a room with my two twenty-something cousins, who shared with me their first-hand experiences with how to get along in jail. I wonder if their is a connection between my aunts' zealotry and the fact that both of their sons are complete f*ck-ups.
And the fighting and acrimony...oh my GOD, these people are nuts. Even though I'm annoyed with my mother right now, she is the best of the bunch, as far as that family goes. By far. This family tree has nuts a-plenty.
So anyway, I've decided that I don't care that much about all this. Screw it. I'll deal with the little brat when I get there for my next visit. I'm probably making a bigger deal out of it than it has to be anyway. I'm sure by the time I get there, my niece will have forgotten all about it. At least I hope so.
That's right, kicky. If she makes another nasty comment, you could always look over at your sister-in-law and say, "See? That's why it's better to have your tubes tied sooner rather than later.."
You know, it might be fun to do an "Obnoxious Relatives" thread. I bet everybody could come up with some pretty funny stories...Maybe I'll start one.
Yeah kicky....next time you see your niece and she's all snotty, just look her in the eye and say "So WTF's YOUR problem, are you are the rag already?"
You know, when you live halfway across the country, it's a lot easier to laugh at the stuff that happens at family events...like funerals.
OK, here's a story stray cat.....
Background...when I was 16 or 17 I got caught smoking pot w/ my girlfriend Priscilla, so I was forbidden to see her anymore....she didn't live that close anyway. So that meant a whole summer without my best friend. Well, I ran into this bitch that's now my SIL (we'd known each other since we were five). I always suspected she was a pycho, even when we were little. But I don't know, you're 17 and bored and she asked me to go somewhere w/ her, and we end up hanging around together all that summer....turns out in addition to being nuts she's a real slut. We had met a couple guys that summer, and she slept with hers AND mine. I was a virgin and my guy respected that, and it wasn't like I was in love w/ him or anything....but it was really funny....one day out of the blue she said to me...."Hey, I haven't had sex with Larry or anything".....uh....okaaaaay, thanks for the info...
That night, Larry tells me "Chai, I don't want you to get mad, but after you left last night, me and pycho got really drunk and, well, you know" I was seriously ok with him, cause at least he was honest, and he was just a summer, fun to be around guy.
Anyway...fast forward 25 years to my fathers funeral....I'm standing there with my HUSBAND and pycho-slut walks up and starts talking about that summer 25 years ago, like making out I was having some wild time. She totally caught me off guard, being a funeral and all....I'd love to say that I said to her "Well, you're the one who f*cked those 2 guys, not me. I was a virgin at the time."....but I didn't....I was so taken unawares. The thing that got me was she was talking like this happened last week, like I'd been in suspended animation all these years, and she knew every detail of my life, not like 2 months of a summer.
God, my brother is so miserable with her, but doesn't even realize it. You know what I mean?
Walmart? Good place to have a revelation I suppose. I'm going to go pray on that.
Oh! My mother used to tell me about when she prayed....she'd say to me...."I told God He better stop making so-and-so do this-and-such"
OK, mom, you're telling the Almighty Creator of the UNIVERSE that he better get his **** together and tighten up?
Wow mom, you the man.
Can you pass a story on to your brother that youre gonna be "made" and that you hope he understands what this means in your relationship.Always wear a shiny suit and shades in Rochester and talk of it as a small community run by the Dafiglia's.
Totally ignore your niece except to give her a twenty or two to get lost. When you talk to her mom, be demanding about how you like your gravy.
Itd be nice if you could be driven up there in a nice black BMW by a friend in a shiny suit also. He should say stuff like 'Hey boss you wadafug I should leave orwhat? "
ROCHESTER? JEEZUS KRISE. You dont even like these people, so why must you go to Rochester? They have 9 months or winter , 2 months of slush and 1 month of rain.
_____________________
Plan B, be totally bored with everyone and call the little girl "your little special Olympics winner". Ask her why she only has one eyebrow. or Wouldnt you rather be cute than heavy?
YEAH!
Make them come see YOU!!!
Sympathy all'round.
signed,
the saint
for a while.
On Kicky's problem, part of the problem is that he (guessing of course) loves and hates his mad family.
I can only think go with the flow, Kicky - though my family was polar opposite, passive aggressive irish. Time now to be yourself, that is your next step with all these folks -
Foo' that you play, you do have a lot of dignity. Be the f/ck yourself.
unless of course there is money involved.
Chai, that story was great. It figures Priscilla couldn't have wound up being your sis-in-law. Nooo, it just
had to be the psycho bitch. What's funny is -- it sounds like she was waiting for 25 years just so she could walk up to you at some point and make her stupid comment. What a nutbag.
Quote:ROCHESTER? JEEZUS KRISE. You dont even like these people, so why must you go to Rochester? They have 9 months or winter , 2 months of slush and 1 month of rain.
Yeah, farmerman, that's why I thought maybe kicky's bro and sis-in-law were feeling a little envious. They might be thinking, "well, he doesn't have to shovel snow 150 times a year, he doesn't have kids to worry about, he doesn't have to deal with the family on a regular basis...he gets to run around NYC, go on trips, blah de blah blah....must be nice."
So maybe they're sort of enjoying it -- on some level -- when their little angel disses him in front of everybody.
Don't get me wrong, kicky. I don't think they really mean any harm, or would want to change places with you necessarily. It's just that people sometimes don't realize that everybody's got their share of problems. They think you've got it so much easier than them.
er, Kicky has posted here on his family before. Tis a thicket. Perhaps even a screenplay. And, of course, none of our business.
Setting the alarm for news..
osso, I'm flummoxed by your post. Of course, it's his family and his business. But when someone starts a thread about something, I think we all naturally assume that they actually want to get comments about it.
Or am I missing something here?
dear Stray Cat, I didn't mean to be offensing. Just that some of this stuff can get a little close.
Kicky has posted on family before, thus I already got that sis in law is ..... different.
I suspect some family are near intolerable and also loved.
Ok, ok, tolerated.
Or, permitted to exist.
I did NOT mean anyone else shouldn't slam dunk the family!!! or, as the case may be, Kicky.
ok, I understand. I just wanted to point out that I've tried to be sensitive to this situation.
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Nods, and I didn't mean to set myself as some sort of kicky protector, g'help him, thwap!! thwap!! Well, not.
But, y'know, I could talk to the sister in law...
